When you are a celebrity, you have the luxury of going to the beach anytime you want. I know that it was the long weekend, and that most of you fools weren’t working, not that any of you actually work. I have a feeling you’re just a bunch of lazy rotters on disability who sit in front of their computers jerking off while eating Cheetos, playing video games and chatting with your internet girlfriend from Idaho, anyway, if you were a celebrity, you could have hit up the beach, possibly with another second-rate celebrity.
I guess the benefit of hanging with less-successful people than you is that you can treat them like your personal bitch, you can get them to carry you around while you smoke your cigarette and drink your redbull.
I can only assume that Leelee Sobiesky has been trying to get Lohan to hang with her for months, and finally Lohan agreed as long as she carries her around. You know how famous people are with their celebrity requests, Lohan was like “Bitch, I will go to the beach with you, but I don’t want my feet to touch the sand”. Sobieski, built like a horse, agreed to be Lohan’s personal rickshaw. The free dance lessons make it all worth it.
I am not going to re-read this post. I have a feeling it’s really not post-worthy – but I am doing it anyway – cuz I hate all of you, but not as much as I hate myself.