I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

08

Jun

I am – Jessica Simpson Shoppin' of the Day

JessSimpsonShopsDSTOP.jpg

I figure there’s not enough Jessica Simpson on this site. The truth is that she’s going to be washed up in about a week, or whenever he cunt of sister launches her album with her new nose, so I figure let’s get it all in before my dreams come true. The dreams I’m talking about are dreams of Jessica tapping into her repressed memories of when daddy and the Baptist dad’s in the community used to gang finger-bang her when she was 7. You see, when a molested girl realizes she was a molested girl, shit’s gonna hit the mother fucking bottle, trying to forget. To date, she’s been living in the hustle of glitz and glam, too busy to think about her past and constantly working towards making the next million dollars. Now that her husband’s got a new slut, her dad’s got a new project (Ashley) and dudes don’t wanna fall in love with her, they just wanna bang her without a condom and cum in her ass, she’s gonna find herself alone. When alone and depressed, thinking about her childhood is about all she’ll be able to do and all that’s when all the BAD things that happened come to light. I predict an Oprah special feature in about 8 years with a Meth Addicted Prostitute who was once America’s Princess, and motherfuckers, I’ll be the first in line to give her that hit of meth no matter how AIDSed up she is….

Yes, I realize she’s obviously making some gay’s wish come true by shopping with the queen. It must be some kinds of AIDS charity, it is the gay disease you know….

I fucking love the dude with the Camera phone… you know he’s gonna show that shit to all his fucking friends for the next 6 months….if anyone knows him get him to send it in to the site.

That’s the story I heard.

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