Dear DJ AM,

Do you remember a time when you were the only monkey-looking motherfucker in Nicole Richie’s life. I have been listening to love songs all night and I can only imagine the pain seeing these pictures is causing you. I wanted to let you know that the good thing about what you do is that you can fuck any hot party slut you want. You own a club and you are the guy who was engaged to Nicole Richie, chicks dig that you’ve been inside her box. Chicks dig the fact that you helped her put her uterus back inside her after it fell out of her during the weight loss. So forget about the skinny whore, bitch wronged you and focus on getting your dick the love it deserves, from sluts dreaming of being made famous.

Remember I will always be here for you in this sad time and in recycled myspace message tradition, this one’s for you (and the 50 other people I have sent it to tonight)….

I wanted to write you something special. I was thinking about making it about how you were a gift to me, how you were someone who I could share my life with and someone who will be by my side every step of the way out of the gutter to the top…but then I realized that we’ve never met and that I’m not your type. But I thought that you were the one, even if it was for only a minute.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

These Pictures Seem to be From X17ONLINE but I found them somewhere else. I hope they don’t try to sue me again for not paying for the right to use their pics. They get mad when I write that they threatened me with legal action on 3 occassions, but I will say they were cool about it. I am the criminal here…I didn’t take these pictures, I don’t own the rights to publish them, I realize that….That’s why I linked as precautionary measure….CUDDLES!

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