Perez Hilton and all the other gay celebrity bloggers are much more successful than me. So I decided to take this site up a notch and get myself a gay writer. But since I am funny, I decided to upstage those scared, hiding behind their computer, haunted by memories of having no friends in highschool faggots by making my gay writer black and jewish.

Here is his letter to Perez,

dear perez hilton,

i hate your guts. your blog sucks. your love for the colour pink is more disgusting than your love for bareback sex. how much money did you steal from your mom in order to pay for your meth habit. its really sad that the meth was the only thing keeping you thin. now that youve hit it big (literally) cant you afford a trainer?

your blog is an excuse to immerse yourself in your work because no one loves you. not even diane. stop hiding behind your fat and be the fairy you were meant to be. when was the last time you even got laid? trannys dont count.

your blog unlike your herpes covered cock will hopefully not be around forever. no matter what paris tells you, that shit stays with you for life.

i’m coming for you fatty. tell your mom, your spic of a dad and all your d list friends. sitting at the cafe day after day will lead to more weight gain. its bad enough your kids will have 2 dads but for one of them to be fat too..c’mon and for christs sake do you really think that perez is a better name then mario.

perez is the mexican that mows my lawn and mario is the cha-chi that unclogs shit from my platium encrusted toliet bowl. maybe a happy or gay medium between the two would be more appropriate like marez or perio. you seem to be good at putting names together, you figure it out.

god hates two things, fags and bloggers. you happen to be both. enjoy your stay in hell, tell paris and kimbo stewart i say hi.

Stay Loose.

Visit him on Myspace GO

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