I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

05

Oct

I am – stepSHIRT Challenge and MUNG’s Second Post of the Day

gemma.jpg

I was just watching the news and they were doing a report on Pumpkins. They said, “not all pumpkin dreams were squashed” and their lame pun reminded me how annoying other celebrity bloggers, or the media in general is, because they always drop shitty puns.

Speaking of dropping shit, I decided to get stepSHIRTS made, and since I am not an artist, I expect one of you fuckers to come up with designs. If I even get any submissions, I will post them here and we’ll have a vote on the best one. Then I will find money to get them produced and I will sell them to all of you through the site for less than the last stepSHIRTs.

Also speaking of shit, here’s another MUNG post, because when one MUNG post is already too much MUNG, 2 MUNG posts is better….

Hey readers! Because I was too lazy to write anything yesterday I decided that I would write two posts for you today whether you pathetic fucking losers like it or not. In case you American cunts didn’t realize it, this weekend is the Canadian Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving! It is a time when you get together with family, drink a fuck load of alcohol and argue about things that have no concern to anyone and have nothing to do with anything. If you think my life is fucked up you should see my family! When we get together it is disgusting. The amount of alcohol consumed at our family gatherings is enough to kill a family of unemployed Irish potato farmers.

Anyways, I am looking forward to this weekend because I like to get drunk and stir the argument pot. I will probably start off by telling my cousin that she is a “nigger lover” because she married a black man. I will continue by telling her that “if she conceives children with her husband, I will be there at the birth standing between her open legs with a chainsaw waiting for the little niglets to pop out.”

Then I will get on to my gay uncle Steve. He always shows up at Thanksgiving and Xmas with his new “partner”. Last year I told his ex-partner to quit staring at my crotch and bitch slapped him at the dinner table. This year everytime Steve’s partner talks, I will say the words “bicycle shorts” to him, and that’s it.

My Aunt is a recovering alcoholic and doesn’t drink anymore…..until this weekend. My brother and I still have a bottle of 140 proof Jamaican Rum that we will slip into her Diet Coke throughout the festivities.

My Grandmother has Alzheimers. The best Thanksgiving we ever had was when I substituted her meds for Sweet Tarts. She forgot who everyone was and thought it was the 1920’s again and told my nigger loving cousin that her boyfriend wasn’t supposed to be out of the field, because it was only noon.

I have a cousin with downs syndrome. I like to get him going. I usually feed him lots of chocolate and soda then let him play my Xbox. When my Aunt and Uncle try to leave it is hilarious when they try to peel him away from the Xbox controller. Last year he threw a fit and smashed my uncle’s 42″ plasma with superhuman retard strength.

Happy Thanksgiving!

MUNG

The bitch in the pictures is some soap star named Gemma Atkinson who is famous, but not because of her busted up pick up truck of a face, obviously….


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted