I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

23

Nov

I am – Nicole Richie Eating of the Day

nicolerichieeats.jpg

It is American Thanksgiving and that means that my readership has dropped 50%. That means I am wasting my time writing this down for 5 fucking people which seems lie a total waste of fucking time. There’s a stay at home father sitting in front of me doing crosswords with his 2 little kids. He’s trying to do a a crossword puzzle and the kids are running around the coffee shop like this was Disneyland. When they get too out of control he hands them a Starbucks cookie that he bought them, hoping they’d shut up. I am trying to figure out why a wife would leave her husband to care for her little kids, my wife won’t even let me give my stepdaughters a bath and they’re 15 and 17. I guess she’ll realize this is a bad idea when little Timmy weighs in 40 lbs overweight at the next pediatrician appointment. I just ate a starbucks cookie they forgot to charge me for and I feel the sugar in my fucking balls….I hope I am not diabetic, cuz if I am, I may die.

Speaking of eating, here are some pics of Nicole Richie eating, because she is fat and you are ugly and it is Thanksgiving and you are American and that means you are eating Yams with Whip Cream on them and that is disgusting and part of the reason your nation is fat, but I am fat too so don’t worry about it and have a good time, which you will, cuz fat people always have a good time eating….even when they emotionally eat because they are sad they are still happy. Fuck Off.


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