I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

04

Dec

I am – If Prohibition Never Ended of the Day

This is a video made for some alcohol company about what the world would be like if there was still prohibition. I was asked to post it by some guy who wrote me this:

I was helping a buddy of mine come up with scenarios if Prohibition never ended.

No one would ever get laid
Fights would be a lot fewer, but probably more deadly
Fat girls would never get to make out
Only really serious people would play pool
There would be a lot less nip slips

So many possibilities. Tomorrow is Repeal Day and my buddy helped Dewars make a little video to celebrate. We put it up at YouTube here.

We had to tone down how different the world would be without booze, but thinking we could get some truly despicable comments going at Drunken Stepfather about what the world would be like without beer goggles.

If my world had no alcohol in it, I’d probably be healthy, less depressed, married with kids and my son’s soccer coach, maybe I’d take my beautiful family on vacation or I’d be a virgin or if I did have sex it would only be missionary or for the sake of procreation. I would have probably have never laughed and without alcohol I’d have to have a real person as a best friend instead of a bottle. I would have no stories to tell that anyone would want to listen to, not that anyone listens to me now. There would be no website to write, no computer stolen, no jobs to get fired from and maybe I would have never left Texas and I’d be down there running an church or some shit wholesome, but realisticially, where there’s a will there’s a way, and not being drunk would probably make me much more motivated to find a way to get drunk….meaning I’d make millions bootleggin booze and drinking in back alley abortion clinics…and with millions means I could hire my own driver and bodyguard which is on my newest list of wants.

I’d ask you what you’d be doing if prohibition was still going on, but I really don’t care what you think.

What I do care about is that I am sure the guy who submitted this to me is going to get all kinds of money for pushing this on the net for the alcohol company, I am happy to say that I am not getting shit because I never get money from people, but it’s nice to know I am helping someone else reach their objective while I slowly fall deeper and deeper into the hell that is my life which is this site. Cuddles.

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