I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

15

Jan

I am – Keeley Hazell has a Sex Tape of the Day

Keeley_Hazell_Sextape_Top.jpg

Here’s the Keeley Hazell Full Sex Tape, if you don’t know who Keeley Hazell is, don’t worry, either do I, but I do know that she has huge tits and I’ve seen her in various photoshoots cuz she’s big breasted in the UK and is in every magazine ever, which isn’t saying much cuz I’ve never seen many hot British chicks, so it’s kinda like being outrunning an amputee.

I kinda wish a professional was behind the camera in this one, because I watch a lot of amateur porn and some of the shit I’ve seen with fat 45 year old moms is better than this, like today I was watching a dude fuck his fat gf when she was half asleep and I got a lot more excited that this shit….

I was always told by people that pretty girls were shit in bed because they were pretty and didn’t need to impress. I was always told that nasty fat chicks were amazing in bed because they felt like they had something to prove. I used to have a friend growing up who’s mother would lecture me on how I should never sleep with whores or pay for sex because the world is filled with sluts if you talk to them the right way. She used to tell me that she was a slut and that’s how she got knocked up with my friend. She’d go on to tell me about how good fat chicks are at sucking dick cuz they are good eaters and how they take it up the ass cuz they are used to taking huge shits and no dick is too big after you’ve spent 2 nights in a row at an all you can eat buffet.

I sometimes think that she was trying to get a piece of me and that she was only telling me fat chicks are good in bed because she was about 100 pounds overweight, I probably should have taken her for a round, but at the time I had standards.

I’ve never really found out if that lady was right about fat chicks and hot chicks and paying for sex because anytime I got laid I was always so fucked up I don’t remember what happened or I paid for it.

I do know that this sex tape fucking sucks and that Keeley Hazell is hot. I guess what it all comes down to is that all celebrities seem to suck in bed and none of them use condoms and all of us would be slammin them if our lives had taken a better route.

I didn’t bother posting the clip, but I am linking you to it, so that almost counts as working. I figure my intro is better than any other intro you’ll read ever. Enjoy.

PS – Girls Don’t Let Your Boyfriends Tape You Fuck, Unless You Want the World To See…..Which you Probably Do, Because We All Want to Be Famous…Especially me. Cuddles.

Watch the Full Sex Tape Here (link is dead, read the comments for updates, ignore the people commenting cuz they are cunts.)


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71 Responses

  1. uk ftw says:

    cunt, loads of fit british girls,

    U FUKIN NAZI

  2. MIKE BLOUKI says:

    My God! British women are ugly???????????????????????? Yeah, right, do me a favour….as they’re NWE looking the look no better/worse than American women, Canadian women etc….

  3. MIKE BLOUKI says:

    …and P.S…Hitler lost WW2 by attacking Russia…..

  4. FUCK AMERICA says:

    Who the fuck do you Inbread American cunts think you are trying to rip us british? Atleast we can live a life of fun, unlike you morbid fucks who ‘jerk’ off to the sound of there parents shagging in the room next door. All you fat fucks do all day is play computers and eat fast food restaurants, atleast us british have something to be proud of, our women over here are amazing they have the looks and curves as you can see from our ‘lovely’ Keeley Hazell. You inbread fucks wish you could have many of these type of women over in America, but no because we know not to trust you cunts. You kill our british troops and have the fucking nerve to call it friendly fire! All you cunts ever do is start fucking wars and then your all to much of ‘pussyholes’ to fight them and then you call for us britain to come save your ass! If I could have it my way i would lock all you in a gas chamber and gas you fuckers out!
    Also you Canadians are just as bad, your just as much of fuck ups as the Americans!

  5. LOL! says:

    Hitler lost cuz of the Russian assault on berlin, not cuz u showed up and he thought “SHIT!!! AMERICA IS HERE!!! RUNNNNN!!” lol
    CERN in Geneva, switzerland invented the Internet
    Britain did invent the Car, Lightbulb, TV, Computer among other things.
    Also, how is britain inbred? We are anything but inbred. I would like to see your proof for that statement whoever sed it lol
    To Ashamed American,
    Thank you for being the only decent minded person to leave a comment. I dont think anyone else on this site realises that both our countries need each other, no matter the circumstances. I can be friendly to americans cuz some of my family lives in america, and they are perfectly nice people, I just wish some of my fellow brits would realise this…

  6. UKMan says:

    How many stereotypes can you count on this post? (From both sides?) The main article is mis-informed, but you can tell that the guy is an idiot by what he is writing and how he is writing it.

    I love the fact that everyone (including me) got to this page by looking for pictures of Keeley and then ended up arguing about the USA and UK!!!

    So here’s what I think (why am I writing this??) – The USA is more prosperous and the UK is more socialist (NHS etc, less gap between rich and poor).

    The Russians won the war. USA and UK were the side show. Read about it.

    There are more hot women in the USA because there are more women in the USA. There are also more ugly women in the USA for the same reason. I’d say the proportion in equal.

    I’m going to watch some porn now.

  7. :) says:

    UKman! That was some awesome logic :)
    U are right bout it all tho lol

  8. Gibson says:

    I live in Brazil. Enough said about hot women.
    You americans, english (whatever) can fight whenever you guys want: about good looking women, we’ve already won! :)

    But I do have to “take my hat of” (as we say here) for this Keeley girl. She is really something else… (Where can I get that full video of her?)

  9. who cares? says:

    We’re all here to look at titties. That’s it. The idea of patriotism is an outdated ideal kept alive by evil government power wolves all across the globe. It breeds hatred and a false sense of importance. We are all specks of dust floating around in a realm much bigger than any of us could ever possibly understand. None of anything we do matters in the long run, so why bother arguing about it? Just take pride in the fact that this world that we all co-inhabit is a beautiful grain of uniqueness floating around in a sea of emptiness.
    Now that that’s aside. Somebody find the link and post it so we can watch this hottie get fucked.

  10. L. says:

    I’d say out of all of the countries in the world… America has the most ugly women. Lotta trash there.

  11. Nelson Chandella says:

    Obesity
    Plastic Surgery
    Piss-poor education compared to Europe
    Media manipulation
    Rednecks
    Trailer trash
    Bible bashers
    KKK
    Warmongers
    Corporate conglomerate cunts

  12. This is all quite funny, but regardless of what either side is saying … i’m sure that we can all agree that yeah, keeley is stunningly beautiful yeah?

  13. luiz Rodriguez says:

    haha all you that talk shit about america are just jealous cause the US has the ability bombard all your asses off the globe why else would you talk shit? keep hating tho, its your hatred that keeps me believing that were the greatest of them all!

  14. unknown says:

    you are all pathetic. no one should give a Shit about who is from where. we are all fucking humans. and just because we live in a different country, doesnt mean were all all that different anyway. its just stupid rivalry. and dont take it so personally. if you guys want to fight about it. meet up and see who is the real tough guy. if not. then shut the fuck up.

  15. fuck you limey fag fucks says:

    hey brits do you know what toothpaste is?

  16. Shut up says:

    Does anyone have the link?

  17. what was she thinking says:

    how the fuck did a black nobody with a small dick get a fit bird like kh? i guess theres hope for us all, but i wouldnt go there anyway, not even if she offered it on a plate. im happier where i am thanks

  18. The JB Layer says:

    Guys if you seriously think there are no good looking girls in ENgland – you need to come and check out the local college at kicking out time – most of you would shoot your loads straight away!!

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