I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

28

May

I am – Heather Locklear Learns How to Surf in a Bikini of the Day

heather_locklear_bikinitop.jpg

I am pretty fucking sure I have seen these pictures of Heather Locklear learning how to surf in a bikini but I tried scrubbing the site to see if I am repeating myself and I realized that looking through the archives was too much work and that it would be easier for me to just post them. Aren’t you glad I let you in on my thought process instead of just posting the pics and writing some lame joke about her tits, her fat friend used to make her look skinny, her solid body for a 40 year old groupie slut who bangs rockers, but instead I wasted your time.

Speaking of wasting time, I didn’t leave my shitty apartment all weekend. I was convinced that staying in was the way to healthy living because everytime I do end up leaving, I end up getting drunk.

I did go on a walk through the park and it was some park festival and they had shitty Bar Mitzvah DJs playing shitty pop music while kids ate hamburgers and roasted Marshmallows with lesbian looking scout councilors because you know any adult in Scouts is either a lesbian, child molester, loser with no friends or purpose but an aptitude in survival, or overbearing parents that want to watch over their kids every fucking second of the day.

That said, I got sprayed by some kid’s watergun and it made me mad. This has been an amazing fucking story. Part of me wants to apologize for running off on such useless shit, but then my rational side reminds me that I hate you, that this is my website, and that I can write about picking my asshole to see if I can smell last night’s dinner after digestion on it and you can’t say much about it.

Heather Locklear may be hot, but she’s getting old making her like last night’s dinner rather than tonight’s dinner, if you know what I mean…if you don’t it means she’s already been digested, but I haven’t shit her out yet, because I still have a little more lovin’ to give in me, but she’s old news and not as exciting as tonight’s dinner that I am already hungry for because I only eat one meal a day but still manage to keep getting fatter.

Ok. Enough of this.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Heather Locklear|Surfing|Unsorted

Leave a Reply