What’s up motherfuckers. I am not sure if you remember me. I am that asshole who abandoned you on the internet last week only to get some friends and family to post more content than I ever could, with more skill and style than I ever had. I guess what I did was throw some shit down to make you realize you don’t need me in an attempt to self-destruct the website so that I can spend my life on cruises that my wife wins at the grocery store because bitch is fat.

So far what I have realized on my trip is that I don’t have enough money to travel the way I want to travel. I don’t have any patience for flying and the whole fucking time I am in the air I think the fucking thing is going to drop out of the sky. I am not into places where people don’t speak english because it makes ordering a fucking drink pretty fucking impossible. I do like bikinis and all the hookers that are being thrown my way, not because I can even afford to bang one, or get hard for them and that is like putting a fat bitch in a buffet line where all the food is glued down to the table, but sex trade always makes me happy.

I feel pretty uninspired. Vacations make me stupid, I haven’t written a thing and feel rusty, just not as rusty as Kardashian’s ass after some black hip hop dude stuffs her like a Jamaican Patty without a condom on but I am never too uninspired to look at Kardashian tits in a bikini. This Armenian fashion accessory even haunts me when I am trying to get away from all this bullshit because her big tits distract me from the rest of her uselessness and as I have learned this week, good tits are good enough for me to overlook an ugly bitch….

Point of this post is to say that Internet on a cruise costs money and no matter how good this post coulda been, it’s never going to get there because I am on a budget… Now back to my stepdaughter Marie Eve, who is doing a great job. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
On Vacation…

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