Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, and I had a lengthly conversation over IM chat today about our best methods to keep pounds off, because, seriously we all know nobody likes a fat chick, right? (Or in his case, a fat guy I suppose). He wrote this lovely email] summarizing our conversation. When I asked him if he thought people may get offended, he said he didnâ€™t give a shit, because people with eating disorders are funny, and heâ€™s going to hell anyways.
When I was a little kid I was pretty scrawny but as soon as I hit high school I got really fucking fat. I was totally sublimating my crushes on my male classmates with food, which is a classic gay move. Once I moved to the big city and realized that no self-respecting gay guy is going to fuck a 200 pound, fat 19 year old, I went on the Mary-Kate Olsen diet of Diet Red Bulls and Vodka and Marlboro Lights.
Even though I am wicked skinny now, you can still see in my face that there is a trapped fat kid inside my body just dying to get out. But Iâ€™m going to keep him away until I find a rich husband and donâ€™t care what I look like anymore.
Now I know Katherine McPhee had a major eating disorder or some shit but girlâ€™s gotta stick with it. When I see her I can still see a little fat Katherine inside, desperately yearning to binge on KrispeyKremes and Double Whoppers. But if I can keep it off, you can keep it off!!
Julienâ€™s Helpful Hint: Deepthroating can sometimes make you vomit. So go binge all you want and then suck some serious cock. But please run to the bathroom before you purge Guys do NOT appreciate it when you hurl all over their junk (I know from experience, Sorry again Jason!)
I am â€“ Katherine McPheeâ€™s Tits of the Day
I am â€“ Katherine McPheeâ€™s Cleavage of the Day
I am â€“ Kelly Clarkson on the Beach of the Day