I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

10

Aug

I am – Hayden Panettiere Eating of the Day

hayden_eat_top.jpg

I am not some gay guy who likes to encourage my female friends to not eat because I want to have an anorexic looking sluts as my fashion accessory, I prove that everyday with my wife who is fucking fat but I still stick by her, but maybe I should have been one and it would have prevented the biggest headache of my life.

I didn’t miss having to wipe her ass for her while I was on my trip. I guess the issue is that in life you make choices and as a loyal and committed guy I am forced to stick by her in these final years of her life and if that means wiping her fat ass, or helping her apply topical cream to her rashes caused by bacteria build-up in all those hard to reach areas that are buried beneath her obesity, then I guess I am going to have to tough it out.

I do know that on the trip I found my erection that I had lost so many years ago. It only made a minor appearance but I was fucking blown away and blame the fact that I wasn’t being turned off women by having to be the orderly around here and had time to really absorb what real pussy is like first hand.

Hayden Panettiere is a little troll of a girl who probably should lay off the food a little bit if she ever wants people jerking off to her like they did to Lohan because fat is not hot and it can turn a man impotent and that’s my lesson for today. The other lesson is that if you’re a celebrity and you’re eating a breakfast buffet, you may want to lay off the peanut butter, even if watching you trying to get it off the top of the top of your mouth like a dog, is like porno to me, reality is my wife gained 10 pounds in one week because she had coupons to an all you can eat breakfast place and bitch took those fuckers for a ride and lead me to writing Jiffy a letter about potentially sponsoring her talent to finish off two tubs of that shit in one sitting. Either way, this posts sucks and so do you. Cuddles.


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Posted in:Eating|Fat|Hayden Panettiere|Unsorted