I was told yesterday that I write too much. I don’t think I do. I just tell stories when they come to me and I don’t tell stories when they don’t come to me. If you don’t want to read the post then you don’t have, no one really does but emailing me telling me to write a shitty paragraph on the person I am posting about, when I don’t give a fuck about the person I am posting about in the first place is not really my thing, but I decided to try out a couple of one paragraph potential posts for these Jennifer Aniston in a bikini top paddle surfing like the useless cunt that she is….as an exercise in making your experience on this site that much better, if that is even possible…and this is me accommodating….
Jennifer Who?Niston….I haven’t heard this name since her famous heartthrob husband left her for a hollywood bad girl. Well here she is trying to reclaim some of her fame and to remind some of her fans from the Friends-era that she’s still got tits by getting into her bikini. And we’re not complaining. I can only assume that her fit older-lady body stops at her ass and isn’t 100 percent where it should be because otherwise she wouldn’t have ruined this experience with those stupid shorts….
Jennifer Aniston was out in Hawaii with her only friends, Courtney Cox and David Arquette and she decided to try out the gayest fucking sport since DJ AM called paddle surfing. Shit’s like wheelchair basketball or blind person dodgeball or some other modified sports for people with disabilities, only the disability that people who paddlesurf have is thinking that they are Huckleberry Finn. I guess all that doesn’t matter because Aniston is rocking a bikini top and we know we love bikini tops, and a girl could pretty much do anything in a bikini top and we’ll still look because we are fucking virgins who have never seen a girl in a bikini in real life….well except for maybe that one time in summer camp, but you were 12.
Anyway you dice it, I still wrote more than I would have in writing one of my stories, only now I feel more like a virgin than when I was 13 and this 20 year old retarded girl tried to get me to fuck her and I didn’t know what to do so I just shoved it in between her fat thighs until I dry came and ran away scared that she was going to eat me or something because she totally looked like a monster…..Jennifer Aniston reminds me of that girl with her big ol’ head…..and this post was a fucking failure…