Fuck the MTV Awards and my neighbor who made me watch it with him. I don’t have a tv so I fucking sold my soul to the devil, or at least the creepiest motherfucker in the neighborhood in order to use his cable. I had to watch him eat licorice with his toothless mouth while staring me in the eyes the whole time i was there, stroking his leg and telling me stories about fucking some chick because she looked like his cousin and he always loved his cousin…….It was awkward, but not as awkward as the MTV awards. They were a pile of fucking shit that I didn’t understand, with hotel parties and fragments of corporate strategy made to look like party insanity, that I was going to liveblog because there was a time I was a live blogging champion, but I got distracted with the Sarah Silverman monologue. I have a serious hatred for her and it’s not because I am part of the german Nazi group that got arrested this weekend, it’s because she isn’t funny.
She is like every celebrity blog that I hate with the “crutch joke” of stating the obvious, but she just does it in a way that didn’t maker me or my neighbor who only bangs chicks who looks like his cousin crack a smile. She’s just this shock value piece of shit who likes talking about shit, it makes up 3/4 of her fucking material and then throws in such innovative shit like “Britney Spears Kids are a Mistake or Madonna is a Python she performed with on stage with last time or some fucking Paris Hilton interaction about her orifices”. I can only say that she has a father or uncle in important places because if I hate her this much, I can only assume you do to….
Speaking of worthless, fat, Jewish chicks that are only funny because they are such shitty quality, here’s Natasha Lyonne and her post drug addicted body on the beach in the shittiest quality pictures I’ve ever posted. There was a time I used to finger my ass to her Slums of Beverly Hills tits….but she always had a busted up face, it was just a matter of time before her body took her faces lead….