I have a feeling that this Forgetting Sarah Marshall shit is going to be big. They marketed it smart and tricked people into thinking that some guy was actually trying to get revenge on an ex no name actress by buying billboards, at least really stupid people fell for it. This is Mila Kunis at the premiere.

The thought of Macaulay Culkin getting up in this on the daily is a testament to how life sucks. My only explanation is that she used to rub up against the corner of her mattress when she was 12 watching his movies and meeting him was like a dream come true for her. That or dude’s got a huge dick and after a night of getting high together, because I remember Macaulay being some kind of addict, he introduced her to it.

I was at some Family Guy reading that someone gave me tickets to the other year. The entire cast was there, including Mila Kunis who I wanted to fuck then as much as I want to fuck her now and it was in some old theater. I remember Macaulay walking out and sitting in the crowd and I tried harassing him.

I started by screaming his name and everyone in the theater cheered, then I tried throwing random shit at him, I started with popcorn but he was about 10 rows ahead of me then I decided in a drunken rage to throw my can of coke I brought in while screaming “hey Culkin, I hear you like coke” and I missed. Shit ended up landing one some bitch and I got escorted out for my bad joke and disrupting something as important as the Family Guy staff party who were reading a fucking script to a crowd of virgins.

Point of my story is that I’ll never forgive him for ruining my night and now you can hate him too because he’s fuckin’ this.

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