I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

12

Jun

Bijou Phillips Flashes Traffic of the Day

Bijou Phillips won’t add me to facebook, I am guessing it’s got something to do with her having no idea who I am and her delusions of being someone famous make her defensive or some shit, but I like to think it’s because I personally offended her all the times I called her an Aids slut. I used to say how she’s from that hipster, art scene, coke slut, rich kid in New York scene where the chicks are models or hang with models and the dudes are artists, djs and photographers and none of them shower, not because they don’t have a shower, because their Manhatten lofts are pretty luxurious, but because it takes away from whatever the fuck they are trying to project. They dress like they are homeless despite having lots of money and the ratty clothes they rock are all desigher and they have nothing better to do with her time than get fucked up all night and sleep all day but somehow always make time to have unprotected sex.

She’s been fucking that Danny Masterson motherfucker from Malcom in the Middle for a long time because he has no taste in women and because she’s kinda locked him in by giving him whatever the fuck she had growing in her busted up cunt, making it hard for him to fuck his other groupies because of a guilty conscious of giving whatever it is she gave him to them, but I guess in her spare time, which she has a lot of, she’s out flashing Freeways because it’s so wild, funny, and obscure like a scene in the movie Kids.

I hate her and hope you do too.

Posted in:Bijou Phillips|Traffic Flasher

8 Responses

  1. the-crutch says:

    i’m in no way a style expert, but how old are these pics? those shorts look old, like early 90′s old. and the cars look old in the background.

  2. Candi Apples says:

    What’s really sad,is that even flashing a freeway cannot get Bijou Philips a career.

    Bijou Philips had one small line in Almost Famous
    “Don’t you know who this is,it’s Penny Lane,show some respect”……..

    Almost famous indeed,as Bijou will never be an A list,or even a B list celebrity…….

    All Bijou does all day is shop with her daddy’s dwindling retirement fund from The Mamas and the Papas,and snort coke all day cause she knows this is as good as it gets for her.

  3. uwe says:

    Thats dangerous, they should not do that!

  4. mailman says:

    he’s from that 70′s show, his little brother is from malcolm, but whatever. fuck them.

  5. lover says:

    Hey how come she gets publicity for flashing, when all I got for doing it was arrested.

  6. fecal_peanut says:

    LOL! Danny is from That 70′s Show, and Bijou is from Hostel 2. I wish I was as drunk as you guys, but I have a job interview tomorrow at Dunkin Donuts and I don’t wanna fuck it up.

  7. barf says:

    This picture is from a Sophomore clothing ad.

  8. Joelle says:

    HAHAH completely agree with the “hipster, art scene, coke slut, rich kid in New York scene” ahaha!!!! Great god damn description.. I practically LIVE in it OOOh geez.

    Photographs are by Cass Bird

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