I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

28

Aug

Emmy Rossum has a New Blackberry of the Day

I don’t know who Emmy Rossum is but I do know she dresses pretty inappropriate to Blackberry launch parties. Bitch is rockin’ some kind of dominatrix outfit you’d expect to see on Rihanna when performing or in the underground clubs I’ve always wanted to frequent but always get turned away at the door because I am alone and not in a pair of chaps. I mean it may be the tamest latex outfit I’ve seen, but like my pervert friend who always talks about this 300 dollar PVC outfit he bought a girlfriend a few years ago and who he has since then passed on to every girl he’s fucked because he can’t cum unless he gets to see it drip of the girl he is with’s slicked up bodysuit, it’s good enough to generate some dirty thoughts and that makes it good enough for me, which isn’t saying much considering I can turn a grandmother grocery shopping into a sexual experience, like last week when I almost got hard over a 90 year old with a walker because I liked the way it made her stick her ass out like she wanted it. I’m not necessarily normal though, and I guess Emmy Rossum is trying to break free from being labeled normal in this small step towards sluttiness that I approve.

If you’re wondering where people go after running over kids while talking on their cellphones, it turns out they hit up the Blackberry launch, because it’s really only normal for murders to always keep their murder weapons up to date. Like when a hunter buys a special edition just released gun or some shit, only the running over kids version…

Posted in:Blackberry|Emmy Rossum|Latex

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!