I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

29

Dec

Naomi Campbell’s Got a Russian Billionaire of the Day

Vladislav Doronin is some Russian Real Estate Billionaire. I didn’t know Russian Billionaires existed. Maybe he’s Russian Mob. I know they exist, one of them showed me his gun once while I worked as a valet where he parked his mom’s shitty car. I am guessing he wasn’t some Russian Billionaire, but probably the lowest on the fucking ladder, but at least he had a gun and a pony tail.

But I guess during the fall of communism a whole lot of people came out on top, maybe by buying the land off the government to make non-communist buildings, like for stores and restaurants and shit like that and by the looks of this dude he probably built his first couple buildings with his teeth.

Naomi Campbell managed to bag him because as you know, being a cunt who thinks she’s a fucking princess, landing a billionaire is the only thing she doesn’t already have and the only thing she can’t afford and is the way she’ll ever be satisfied. You know, for a cunt who’s got everything and a whole lot of money, the last thing on the list was a billionaire to make her cunt complete and like my friend down the street who needed a wife, she went to Russia, because I guess that’s where you go to find mates, his wasn’t a billionaire though, she was some ragged looking prostitute who didn’t shower and didn’t look like the picture he chose out of the catalog and when she got here wasn’t much of a wife, because everyone got a chance to fuck her, even me!

Either way, the only way I could understand why a Russian Billionaire would bother getting with this bitch, not only is she old and tired and not even a model anymore, but she’s got a history of being fucking crazy, and for someone who could go for any currently active model, celebrity, or everyday girl, or multiple everyday girls, or multiple celebrities, or multiple models, there’s no explanation for this.

Maybe all that money has made him hate himself for the things he did to get there, or maybe he’s fucking crazy, or maybe she reminds him of some dictator or leader who issued the rationed bread in his one room home his family of 12 grew up in where they’d share cabbage soup and a potato they baked on a government issued candle before tending to the fields or sleeping in a puddle of water in the middle of winter, where his boss would whip him and throw oxen feces at his face because he didn’t work fast enough, but I don’t really know either of them so I can’t be the judge of why they are together, maybe it’s love, I think it’s got more to do with a sadistic need to have an uncontrollable wife, but I can say having two beach boys in speedos tending to your needs is pretty fucking gay…

Here are those pics…

Posted in:Bikini|Billionaire|Naomi Campbell