There was a time in my life that I wanted to go into the Mechanical Bull business. I remember finding a used one and thought that I could rent it out at parties and to make extra money I’d videotape the hot chicks in mini skirts on the shit, titties bouncing around to put on the internet…

So in doing my research for this business venture, I went to a local bar with a mechanical bull, and I realized that the percentage of hot chicks who get on the thing are minimal and when they do get on it, they are all dainty and lady-like and manage to cover every interesting body part, but there were endless ugly, sloppy drunk girls, I’m talking a line of them who for some reason, their body parts that no one really wanted to see, were put out on display like it was a freakshow….

I guess Snooki proves my theory that the Mechanical bull is for fat and sloppy being thrown around like the barnyard animals on their way to the slaughthouse….and her upskirt is really just her bathing suit…but when it comes to Snooki, it doesn’t really matter because it’s all disgusting…

Posted in:Snooki