I turned myself off for the weekend. I didn’t read the paper while taking a shit in a public place. I didn’t watch the TVs at the local McDonald’s Cafe I get my free TV, internet and cheap coffee at. I didn’t go on a computer, or use Twitter, except maybe to lure one or two vagina pics…so I have no idea what’s going on in the world, locally or internationally. I’m so self involved and it’s amazing, my only concern is when I can take a fucking nap on a bench, or scrounge up enough money from my wife’s purse to afford me a daytime 40, that will lead to many amazing things, like even me possibly popping up on the news.

Here’s the today’s stepNEWS to catch up. The stuntman clip is retarded.

Sex offender busted for scam
SALEM – Police say a Level 2 Sex Offender went door-to-door scamming people out of donations they thought were going to a cancer charity.

Stuntman Hurt at Atlanta Motor Speedway
A metro Atlanta stuntman is recovering in the hospital after he was badly injured in stunt-gone-wrong at Atlanta Motor Speedway’s Thursday Thunder.

Man Killed Trying to Steal Medical Pot
A Phoenix man who recently was authorized to grow his own marijuana fatally shot a man who tried to steal his pot at gunpoint.

Duck Living at Home Depot
A duck in Maine has made a Home Depot his home for the past month and is refusing to leave.

Teens could go to prison over pic
Final exams started Friday at Hernando High School, but few students were talking about their tests. The buzz was about a text message — what some called “sexting.”

Teens arrested after fight
Police have arrested an 18-year-old in Winter Haven for his involvement in a fight shown on video, which was captured and uploaded online.

Posted in:stepNEWS