Alyssa Miller is 24. She’s and SI model. In fact, her Rookie year in SI was in 2011 along side fatty Kate Upton…who as we know has gone on to achieve greatness, at least for a fat chick, in both her ability to eat an entire pig at a Texas BBQ, but also wash it down with a couple of Pies, at least that’s what her weird looking’ body tells me…a weird looking body that has made the cover of SI a bunch of times because she’s marketable and the people like her, while substantially hotter models, like Alyssa Miller, have taken the backseat and are forced to run shitty campaigns for shitty bathing suit companies…probably asking themselves every time they see a Kate Upton pic “WTF…How?…Why?”…leading to some insecurity regarding inadequacies the people have told her she had…making her a good candidate to WIFE….I dig it.

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