Eva Longoria posted a bikini pic…and clearly knows her angles because she’s looking good despite being the Rihanna of Mexicans, who hates being Mexican so bad that she hires Mexican servants to make herself feel more important than the average Mexican…

I never found her hot, maybe because I am a self hating Mexican, or maybe because I know what corn tortillas to do an ass when eaten the way real Mexicans who haven’t gone Hollywood eat…but for some reason I am finding her hot today…maybe because I have Mexican hooker mommy issues that are flashing back now that we are starting a new year and I am reflecting…and I see my mexican hooker mom in her or maybe because I never banged a Mexican and being half Mexican want to see myself in her…covering her fish taco with my salsa…right?

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