I have two Charlize Theron stories…the first is that when she did Playboy in 1997, I lived with a dude, who used that Playboy harder than any Playboy I had been in personal contact had ever been used….she was hot and amazing…a virtual unknown who hadn’t really booked a movie yet…this was around the same time the model was about to be deported from Los Angeles because she didn’t have money, wasn’t getting work, and it was in an era before being an instagram whore could open the door for you via sugar daddies…

So when she was nearing the end, about to go back to South Africa, where her mom had just killed her dad…she met a producer in the bank…and boom…became famous…the producer she met in the bank once told me…she probably would have been willing to do porn…she was that desperate…

In retrospect, those are horrible Charlize Theron stories…but these pics of her aren’t horrible…

I guess Charlize Theron is promoting a movie…because why else would she be in Esquire doing media that you know is controlled by, or coordinated by the movie company….but more importantly, why would she have tipped off the paparazzi to come to her private Malibu beach to release pics of her and Sean Penn getting naughty on the beach…it is all an inside job…TRUST ME…and amazing inside job that she may be too old for but that her ass is still good enough enough for me to stare at…and that’s all that matters…

Here are the beach pics…

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