Jessica Alba was a hardly talented, but hot, actress who never got naked but who people fucking loved, probably not because she’s a Mexican, since no one likes Mexicans…who trapped her boyfriend at the time, who had just dumped her, Cash Warren, by getting pregnant and forcing him to do the right thing and be a dad to the kids…which worked out nicely for him, because he linked her up with some tech geniuses who were able to build a brand off of her, and all she had to do was promote it…
Sure, part of the marketing campaign was that she worked 86 hours a week and built it from the ground up, but I have people who know people, who know people, and apparently, she was definitely present at the office, but she never really handled anything, or made any decisions..
It was just a spokes modeling contract that worked in this dot com tech wild west where anyone can become a billionaire…with the right team and 20% equity in something…
I am not saying she doesn’t deserve to be worth 200 million dollars, at least she took her celebrity and followed the american capitalist dream to make stupid fucking money…like she was Ashton Kutcher…
I am just saying, who the fuck cares…the real discussions should be “where are her tits!!”…billioare or not..I want to see her tits…because I’m old..and remember when she actually mattered…
I’m not impressed by any of this, it doesn’t matter to me..or really to any of you….great, you’re a fucking evil billion dollar corporation that manipulated idiots into her lie…now where are the tits?
She was already rich and living the rich life…before this…not to mention, why isn’t the Brian Lee…the founder of LegalZoom and ShoeDazzle, who runs the fucking company….oh probably worth more than Alba’s 200 million take….why isn’t he on the cover? Oh right, because that would fuck up the marketing campaign that involves Alba being the face…now where are the tits?
All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….
Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW