Jennifer Metcalfe is some UK soap star, which I assume is code for middle class hooker, with a solid vehicle to marry and get pregnant by a soccer player…so long as she looks like a Glamour model…

Well she was in a bikini, which is exciting, because bikinis are all that matter, as you know if you visit any site, including but not limited to instagram, or your high school crush’s facebook vacation photo album for masturabtion material…it doesn’t even matter who is in the bikini just so long as the bikini happened…

Well she is 31, is a fitness instructor in her spare time, and girls in the UK, mainly trashy fat ones who watch her Soap Opera from their trailer park, you know the gypsy kind, probably hate how hot she looks…

Well she has cellulite, which I think we should shame, even though I know all girls have cellulite, it’s what makes for a good booty, but I like to perpetuate unrealistic ideals in women…like no cellulite…to keep them insecure and oppressed for my dick.

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