It is cyber Monday – which means no one will be killing themselves in the stores…but rather just bogging down internet servers looking for that deal on a Christmas gift for someone you don’t think deserves full price…or some shit..

I realized last week, with all the holiday laziness, turkey and dysfunctional family bullshit, that I would be happier if every week was a holiday, less people around…always a good thing…because people are the worst…especially married women…always tempting me with their fertile vaginas at the grocery store…because I know their misery will translate into good, unreserved sex, the second they let their guard down…and bite that bullet…for the first out of marriage cock…that won’t be me, because I’m not a co worker, or tennis coach, but rather the creepy guy at the grocery store…in sweat pants…punching myself in the dick trying to get an erection….

I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m still drunk from being drunk…which is repetitive considering the site is called drunkenstepfather…and I’m here to go on drunken rants about how shitty my life is, but how hot young pussy is, are you even reading this? Who are you..tell me about you…

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