I had at least one person ask me if I was at Coachella this weekend.
I am a 47 year old man with no money, who is obese and doesn’t leave the house.
Not to mention, I hate people, and being around people, and music…fuck that shit.
Why would I be at Coachella…
Oh right, because I live in fucking Canada and I would have to buy a plane ticket to get there, all the be herding into a crowd of the worst humans, that I know are the worst humans because they are at Coachella….TAKING pictures of themselves in various outfits – like they are a catalog for Urban Outfitters…it’s just not legitimate getting wasted fun…it’s Disney level shit..
I would find staring at the wall…or tryign to get the fat toothless cancer survivor on TINDER to send me pics of her asshole…it’s more rewarding, less depressing, and really I just think it’s unfortunate there wasn’t an Alien attack….not to mention, Easter is the most religious day of the year and clearly these heathens found a new church and if there was a god…he would have punished them by throwing dinosaurs at them…
Here are some morning links you don’t give a fuck about – because either do I….
A Massive Coachella Celeb- Round Up….
CLICK HERE
My Friend Phoebe Price is a Giant Ass Flashing Easter Egg from Heaven – Proving Resurrection – and The Fact that God Exists
CLICK HERE
Selfie Lessons from a Chimp
CLICK HERE
Crushing a Ferbie is Magical
CLICK HERE
Britney Spears – BIKINI body
CLICK HERE
Eli Manning Sells Fake Sports Merch
CLICK HERE
Obama is Getting Down on His Rich Friend’s Cruises – Living it Up
CLICK HERE
Some Debris in the Road….The Musical—-
CLICK HERE
Baby Hippo of the Day
CLICK HERE
That Massive Coachella Celeb Round Up…
CLICK HERE
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