I watched this video on mute, all I know is that it is of girls in their underwear talking about what they like in their men, I am assuming they are saying shit that everyone can relate to, because they don’t want to alienate themselves and seem unattainable, because the average guy doesn’t have rugged good looks, and isn’t a ridiculously rich, ripped with a 10 inch cock who can make a bitch cum just by grabbing her arm, or build a log cabin from scratch, and can tame a wild horse when not crying to chick flicks, saving Aids babies in Africa, writing poems and love songs, helping ghetto kids get out of the ghetto, or weaving baskets, cooking gourmet meals, paiting or doing some other homo shit that chicks get wet for, while the average Victoria Secret model boyfriend is, so whatever they are saying here, they are just trying to stay accessible, but I don’t care, panties on hot bitches are still panties on hot bitches…actually maybe I’m wrong…maybe you do have a chance with one of these girls…you should start sending her fan mail…I’m sure it’ll go over really well with them…
Archive for the Ad Category
Here’s some viral video campaign that I thought was promoting Binge Drinking, but realized it was actually saying it is bad, even though I’ve been a career binge drinking the last 2 decades and it’s worked alright for me, I mean sure I’m fat, unhealthy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, poor, pathetic and all that, but I’ve had some pretty fucking funny times. They’ve managed to leave out the most important product of binge drinking and that’s fingerbanging the fat chick on the dancefloor, or even worse, bringing her home for a fuck. I thought it was a good effort, but maybe that’s just because I like the guy’s accent.
We don’t have Carl’s Jr here, but I used to have a friend who worked somewhere that got press packages from Carl’s Jr and everytime they’d release a burger they’d send him a cardboard cut out of it, and byt the looks of some of their burgers, you’d think just holding the cardboard cut out made you fuckin’ fatter. I used to get him to give me those cutouts so that I could torment my wife.
I’d put shit all over the house the days she announced she was going on a diet. I’d just bust it out randomly, because for her a burger was what pussy was for me, or what little boy ass is to a pedo.
I remember when we’d fuck, she’d make me put one of the burgers over my face and bitch would rock my cock better than normal, unfortunately, it’d make her hungry and she’d run out for a late night burger when I’d pass out and that was all part of her 150 pound weight gain.
It was all very fuckin’ fat, but not as fat as when she planned a solo trip to the states to experience the burger first hand and took pictures like she met the fuckin’ President or some shit.
Either way, they got Audrina to do the add, because despite having fat tits, her body’s rockin’ and a rockin’ body is a lot more appealing to market a burger than seeing some stretch-marked sloppy piece of shit of fat chick…
Yes, these are the same people that brought you Paris Hilton car wash.
Here’s their Alba commercial…
Here’s there Hot CHick on a Mechanical Bull commercial…
Here’s that Padma chick’s commercial….
And the Paris Hilton commercial….
Posh Spice is posing with some underwear ad that she was obviously ridiculously overpaid for, while I’m here writing about Posh Spice for a second time today.
It’s not like there aren’t thousands of other things that I could have done a post on, but for some reason, I chose this shit, maybe it was laziness aand I lack creativity and take the first thing that comes my way, because I don’t give a fuck about Posh Spice, but I couldn’t really tell you why I am doing it. Maybe it’s OCD and I like doing things in twos now and if I don’t I end going crazy and running down the street barking at people like the drunk dude I met riding his bike last night while he was barking at me, but whatever it is, shit is like groundhog day only more boring even when shit’s rockin’ lingerie in a heavily photoshopped picture. We need to get some Bill Murray acne scars up in here to make it all okay.
Here’s an ad, or what they claim is an actual Bud Light Ad about some dude buying porn at the convenience store. It reminded me of you but you don’t actually buy porn you freeloading asshole. I don’t know if it is actually an ad produced by them or some punks pretending to be Bud Light to be funny, but I am posting it anyway. I figure since Bud Light will never pay me to promote their shit, I might as well do it for free, because I am an idiot.
So this Laura’s Weight Loss site is using Kim Kardashian’s image on their site to promote some weight loss program. Now I don’t know much about marketing and advertising and shit, but I do know that she’s better suited for a chocolate bar company, because let’s face it, if you want a Kim Kardashian body, all you have to do is sit on your couch and start eating.
Having her promoting a diet, is like hiring Magic Johnson to promote condoms, Lindsay Lohan to promote Abstinence, Amy Winehouse to promote sobriety, Jennier Lopez to promote music school, you get what I am saying…..
Alba is so wild in this bondage style ad trying to get peole to register to vote or vote or whatever the fuck she’s doing, but I was pretty disappointed at how tame shit was and was hoping for more of a snuff film than some playful suburban wife trying to add spice to her boring sex life with her fat husband’s idea of bondage, but that’s just because I hate Alba and like snuff films, except for the whole killin’ part, just hard to stay hard for those parts, but I didn’t have too hard of a time staying hard for the woman I saw grinding her husband on the park bench today. They were lying in the grass and she was doing some kind of stripper ass shake on his dick, it was one of those rent a room you sick fucks moment, only I didn’t really want them to rent a room, since I was pretty much down with the show. What I am also down with is how irrelevant Alba is now that she’s a mom, because I was getting sick of her and that ego when she’s not even that hot, like I’m getting sick of celebrities endorsing American Political races especially when they are some uneducated Mexican who is only known for her tits.
Just vote for Obama. Stop being an idiot. It’s easy. Dude wins me over every time I hear him talk, like Alba wins me over everytime I think she’s going to completely cover her face up…but doesn’t since she always disappoints.
Hayden Panettiere is a revolutionary. She just keeps pushing the limits despite her physcial deformities. She won’t let her l height hold her back from anything. She’s strong (really strong), she’s somehow convinced the world she’s hot, and now she’s modeling. The last person her size to be a paid model was my friend Frankie who was born with some disorder that didn’t let him break 5 foot, and dude’s modeling job was working at a loal art class as a nude subject.
Either way ripping on the little model for not being able to be a basketball player is dull, everyone does it and it’s really not even an issue. The truth is that she’s still got a pussy under all that muscle and can is hot enought to be a the subject of your carnival porn fantasies, you know get bitch jugging while spinning around on your dick like she’s on a Merry-Go-Round, and she easier on the eyes than a real midget with their big scary weird normal sized hands and thick stumpy bodies, so we should celebrate these pictures for her Candies ad campaign and not shit on them like I shat on this midget I got with sexually, because I knew it was just be happy getting love and German Scat was just hitting the scene and was something I wanted to try, and convincing other girls was almost impossible, so capitalized on the opportunity knowing that even if it tried to run away, it’d be easy to catch because of its little legs.
I came across these pictures from a UK ad campaign for Doc Marten’s featuring dead rock icons wearing the boots in heaven to prove just how durable they are and that you can take them to the next life with you…or some shit…but only if you’re a rockstar, because rockstars go to heaven, you know with all their self destruction, drugs and alcohol, pre-marital sex, anti-establishment, petty crimes, suicide, murder and all kinds of other things religion really deems as being Holy….
I am not really sure why I am posting these, I really have no opinion and nothing interesting to say about any of these people, I listen to their music when it came out and even now when my I am not doing anything else on my computer because my computer sucks. I have never gone to any of their shows, but I am pretty sure that I have had sex while listening to them and that is probably an experience that definitely wasn’t as lasting or memorable as these boots and the poor women involved may have to take it to the grave with them to the grave, that is of course only if they haven’t repressed the experience like I was their uncle touching them inappropriately at the family Christmas party. I bring on shame even though they were drunk or high and I was paying them….
Either way, check out the ads. I haven’t figured out if it’s right or wrong but I do know that the last thing I’d want after I am dead is to be endorsing some shitty product I used in the 80s and 90s on the company’s revival campaign….even though I know that would never happen because I am not a rockstar but you get the fucking point asshole.