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Archive for the Airport Category

2010

22

Feb

Zoe Saldana and Some Airport Security Porn of the Day

Virgins Losers love this bitch because she is what they modeled the girl in Avatar after, and Avatar porn clips are all the fuckin’ rage in the virgin loser circuit, as virgin losers may hate “cheating” on their previous love interests and sexual fantasies they’re loyal to, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena the Warrior Princess, their love for technology just can’t pass up on new masturbation trends…….

I feel that once a virgin loser leaves the safety of his mother’s basement or computer filled apartment after years of therapy, some medication and a new outlook on life that realizes he will either kill himself or break the miserable pattern his social awkwardness and obsessive compulsiveness has created for him, hoping to make his way through life as close to a normal person as possible by divorcing his internet wife he met on an RPG game and trying to not talk about bullshit that only he and 3 other guys online find interesting, only to realize that real life is hard, since real woman walk around it, making everything so fuckin’ distracting, because everything leads to an erection….especially when all your fantasies come true and the actress who played your most recent alien crush is getting patted down in airport security in a pair of tight jeans that show off her flat ass the virgins don’t find flat because it’s ass and it’s connected to the bitch from Avatar….making them realize this whole living in the normal world is not going to work for them, it’s too much of a sensory overload, that is just way too much to handle….limiting their excursions to seeing Sci-fi movies in 3D for the 14th time…and going to the computer store to buy parts for the spaceship they are building in the garage.

I didn’t re-read this because I find editing too self-absorbed but I hope it makes sense…..otherwise it was a huge waste of time and by huge I mean 5 minutes of time which is huge if you only have 6 minutes to live. True story.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Airport|Security|Zoe Saldana

2009

08

Jun

Megan Fox is at the Airport of the Day

Megan Fox was spotted at the airport going on some international flight, possibly to save Aids babies, or maybe to protest with the Sri Lankans, you know, use her celebrity to make a fucking difference, but I’m pretty sure its for some self-righteous bullshit, like work, and that’s okay, because just being Megan Fox is like a community service to so many virgins and dudes who can’t get laid, that she might as well be awarded the Nobel Prize for some bullshit, and I just like how her greasy, slicked face looks like she just got fucked proper, and at the airport too, I mean what can’t this whore do?

Posted in:Airport|Megan Fox

2008

02

Apr

Your site isn’t safe dude…

Hey guys.
I’m not a webmaster or anything on this website. I just found out that this website is not safe.
I dropped the DB yesterday (by accident, sorry..) and now I got some logins… (I can generate them). I do NOT want to break your site, this is only for you consideration. I didn’t delete anything, and I will not go and lame around.

Please fix your website mr webmaster. I like this site, and do not want it hacked or anything. So I did this, for someone else does…
You may contact me @ phpserver@gmail.com.

Thankyou.
Kuhz1n.

Posted in:1989|2008|80's tees|80s|80stees|A-Trak|Academy Award|Accident|Ace of Base|Acrobat|Adam Brody|Adam Sandler|Addict|Addicted|Addiction|Adele Silva|Adriana Lim|Adrienne Curry|Agent Provocateur|Aids|Airport|American Idol|ANTM|Arrivals|Bald

2008

26

Mar

Megan Fox Hiding at the Airport of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Looks like Megan Fox just found out that we all know she’s been having sex with Brian Austin Green of 90210 fame and she’s embarrassed and hiding. I guess whenever your dirty little secrets get out, it takes a little while to get over it because you know that despite the friendly faces and smiles people give you, they actually think you’re some kind of deranged sexual deviant. Kinda like that time your mom walked in on you jerking off to gay porn or the time you got arrested for kidnapping that girl, undressing her and lockin’ her in your basement for 24 hours before letting her go but keeping her panties as a souvenir leading to your big debut on the local news and on the cover of the local paper making your family, friends and colleagues really fuckin’ proud to know you.

The truth is that sacrificing a hot pussy to such a lame motherfucker is even worse than any of those things as far as embarrassment goes. Shit proves to the world that you either have no standards, no self respect, or some kind of twisted sexual appetite that involves losers. In reality, his dick murdered her sex appeal and he should be the one arrested, but unfortunately she let it happen and for that – she’s summoned to this walk of shame.

The good news is that like the time you got caught by your mom doing inappropriate things people are supposed to do themselves, it will blow over, because time heals but you know that every time she looks at you, she still shudders in shame…because I guess somethings just aren’t so easy to forget no matter how much drugs, booze, or time goes by. Brian Austin Green is one of those things but I’d still stuff this bitch like a thanksgiving turkey, but that’s only because I don’t have shit on Brian Austin Green, he’s actually cooler than I am and that is one of the many reasons I’ve contemplated suicide.

Posted in:Airport|Hiding|Megan Fox

2007

19

Oct

I am – Adriana Lima and Airport Security of the Day

adriana_lima_airport_top.jpg

So Adriana Lima is like you and me, except she’s good looking, gets paid to be good looking, and travels the world to make obscene amounts of money, but she still gets searched by security, proving that all that other shit just doesn’t matter, because what it comes down to is that she’s not some fantasy, she still takes shits, and she’s probably just as annoying as your last girlfriend, but not because she’s in the fifth grade, but because she’s probably only got a fifth grade education, before being poached by a modeling agency and taken to the top. That was a fucking long sentence and I guess nothing I say really matters, but what does matter is that if I was the security card, I’d definitely demand a full cavity search, with my dick, because you can never trust those South Americans, they are always up to cocaine smuggling and being lady boys.

Here she is at Airport security, making dude’s shitty 10 dollar an hour job all worth it.


Related Posts:

Adriana Lima For Pirelli See Through
Adriana Lima’s Ass in Denim
Gisele’s Thong Goes Mountain Biking
Gisele’s Ass on the Beach

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Airport|Model|Unsorted

2007

16

Oct

I am – Jessica Simpson Loves Her Dog and I Love Her Tits of the Day

jessica_simpson_airport_top.jpg

I used to hang out at the Airport hoping to find girls who were coming into town for the weekend. I figured it would be the best way to beat all the other locals to their vaginas because you know a group of girls in town for a weekend is going to end up with all of them having sex with at least one person each and being there to greet them was key to my success because I never had much game. I’d see them walking out and I’d run up to them pretending they were a long lost friend who I was there to meet and who I hadn’t seen in a long time. They were always pretty receptive until I’d ask them to get into my van.

In those days girls at airports were never this put together. They would be in workout gear or sweatpants and look tired and unshowered. You know practically in their pajamas, but not the good kind of pajamas, so it’s nice seeing Jessica Simpson lookin’ good at the airport. It’s also nice to see her carrying her dog around like he’s her best friend, because he probably is the only person she lets eat her used tampons or lick her dirty underwear. Dogs have it made and celebrity dogs really have it made, I always wanted to live the life of a dog and I pretty much do. I sit in the house all day and enjoy shitting on sidewalks.

Here are those pics,


Related Posts:

Some Jessica Simpson’s Got some Crazy Cleavage
Jessica Simpson’s Got a Floppy Fuckin’ Tit
Lots of Jessica Simpson, Her Tits and Her Dog Pictures
Some Old Jessica Simpson Built Like a Tank Pictures

Posted in:Airport|Dog|Hot|Jessica Simpson|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day

nicole_richie_airport9.jpg

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie leaving town with her lame as fuck baby daddy, provided the baby makes it out of the womb alive. I assume that she’s had so much dick in her that her small frame’s got some big vagina and I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby’s already fallen out and into the toilet when she’s taking a shit forcing her to push it all back in place and using hair elastics to lock it all into place….so that it has a semi-normal development.

Reality is that someone like Joel Madden doesn’t deserve to get a girl pregnant, even if it’s someone as useless to the world a Nicole Richie. He is the kind of guy who girls double up their birth control with, so that they don’t have to be stuck to him for life because even they know how fucking lame he is. I can only assume that this motherfucker sabotaged her pill and ripped his condom tip to make this shit happen, knowing very well that Nicole’s numerous botched abortions from her past made getting another one impossible.

Speaking of Nicole Richie’s Vagina…DJ AM has been ignoring my emails for the last 2 years, so I sent him this one:

why you gotta ignore me…
don’t be so fucking sensitive
it breaks my heart to think i’ve hurt your feelings
or annoyed you…
i heard you hate me…
i don’t get why…
it’s totally unecessary
I feel like were’ in elementary school
and I’ve been stealing your lunch money for a month or some shit and your mom just called the school to complain..

lighten the fuck up

love

jesus

He finally responded for the first time in 2 years….

I dont hate you at all! I just think your corny and stalkerish… :)

So I wrote him asking him to play my stepFEST Tour, which doesn’t exist but it could…

would you play a DrunkenStepfather party for me?

And he wrote back :

no.. read your review.. Im “gay and suck and shouldn’t DJ” or something like that lol

That’s as close as I get to someone in LA who banged Nicole Richie and now I am sharing it with you. But the good news is that he’s been getting my emails all these years, he’s just been ignoring them….so it goes to show you that my constant harassing actually got through to him so my mom was right, hard work does pay off…too bad this gets me pretty much nothing…but that’s all I expect from myself….because I suck at life.


Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Pregnancy Tits
Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top
Nicole RIchie’s Pregnant Guy
The Reason DJ AM Thinks I am a Stalker – stepTV

Posted in:Airport|DJ AM|Joel Madden|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Unsorted