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Archive for the Anastasia Ashley Category

2020

29

Apr

Anastasia Ashley Fitness Erotica of the Day

Anastasia Ashley brings the COVID QUARANTINE GOOD TIMES to all you perverts into stay at home wives like the misogynists you are….with your “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” approach to relationships that are in no way the only reason you haven’t had sex in 10 years…but part of the problem as you sit there in your mess, stale semen drying on old tshirts and shit stained underwear because you’ve given up on life…a “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” is a far cry from ever happening…which is what makes it that much more of a fantasy..

I for one feel that cleaning is women’s work, especially when done in skimpy bathing suits, it’s really the whole foundation of naked maid services….and mail order Russian brides….

So as much as we like seeing Anastasia Ashley surfing, or dancing at events, or just living a better life than you on the beach with her ass out…this is a good old fashioned cleaning lady doing cleaning aeorbics in a best of what house wives do….at least this is what I like to think housewives do…knowing they likely just sit around eating and complaining about how hard their life is while dad is at work supporting the damn family.

Either way, I’ll watch bitches work out anytime….the less clothes the better…while staying true to the Call on Me video….good fucking job…

@anastasiaashley

Inspired by all the live workouts ##fyp

? Call on Me – Radio Mix – Eric Prydz

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2019

12

Dec

Anastasia Ashley Bikini Booty of the Day

Anastasia Ashley Bikini Miami Beach

Anastasia Ashley has come out of hiding and is gracing the beaches of Miami for the papaprazzi with her surf booty out like old times….

A booty in a bikini never gets old…I mean…sure it gets “OLD” in theory….but when you live that active, fit lifestyle, it gets old far slower, far better than the average 30 year old bitch I see at the grocery store buying as many pints of ice cream, frozen pizzas, sugar filled snack foods to curl up on the couch and eat before another day of selling their soul to the thankless job they have in order to pay the rent…cuz those 30 year olds are depressing as shit…and fat as shit….and not bikini ready….not even a year out….cuz they’ve given the fuck up…

While this one’s long day at the office is hanging out on the fucking beach and eating ACAI bowls and smoothies….half naked….doing what most people can’t even afford to do once a year cuz of that long lonely life at the office doing menial fucking bullshit tasks…making barely enough money to survive…they shoulda though about that when they were younger, you know get into surfing as a child to carry that into adulthood….so that instead of watching their favorite XMAS movie in their shitty apartment, they’d be doing this.

Here’s to people living better lives than us…cuz we suck.

More from IG..

Lest we forget this iconic lesbian moment with Monica Sims..
Anastasia Ashley Monica Sims Topless

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2019

28

Oct

Anastasia Ashley Saves Ocean With Her Surf Ass of the Day

View this post on Instagram

Aquawoman-saving the ocean one plastic bag at a time ?

A post shared by Anastasia Ashley (@anastasiaashley) on

Surfer turned instagram bikini booty, Anastasia Ashley, who has been doing this internet thing with her ass for a while now…and unlike all the fake bitches with the fake asses and fake faces….this ass comes from surfing….

She clearly still has what it takes as she brings what I consider to be the best Halloween video of the year….

I don’t do or care for superhero shit, it actually normally offends me, I’ve been bitching about Hollywood making these movies for CHINA before Scorcese did, but I do think humans are disgusting and killing the sea turtles with all their trash from shit they don’t even need…and I fucking love sea turtles…so we need to do what we can to save them…and if we can do that with hot asses in thong outfits…even better…

This is a great career move for her, Halloween or not, just taking on the job from instagram booty, to saving the world like some kind of activist, without being a cunt about it…..RID the ocean of single use plastics…one plastic bag at a time..all while using her superhero trident so that all you nerds can jack off to it and know it is real…weirdos.

The only conflict I have watching this, is that pollution makes human extinction far more likely, and I’m ready for that reset…cuz humans suck…but when there are wet round asses involved….I guess going on another day isn’t that bad…

Fun, Positive messaging without being a Social Justice Warrior…pretty solid.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2018

20

Aug

Brooke Burke Erotica of the Day

Brooke Burke Erotica Bikini Tits and Ass

Brooke Burke has a ridiculous fan base…

I assume they remember her from when she was on Wild On, from back in an era where getting half naked and partying around the world was enough of a concept to sell a show, an era where I should have been selling TV shows, and I guess I kind of was, to random drunks at the bars I used to frequent, who weren’t Hollywood Execs…but who still would jerk off in the plants like Weinstein…

I did pitch two shows one was a Jackass of Picking Up girls called Pickin’ Up…I pitchd it to some exec at Comedy Central who didn’t buy it and made me give up on my dreams and focus on this site….that has raped my life and dreams and distracted me from opportunities that I should have put my time into.

That idea wouldn’t work now that that whole #metoo shit ruining all our fun, and the other one, i don’t remember…but none as simplistic as “Playboy bitch with bolt on tits in bikini at parties around the globe”…like they spent money producing this shit, flying people around, and you perverts fucking watched it.

That said…I was one of those perverts, she still looks awesome, 20 years and 20 kids later, recently divorced wanting you to jerk off to her old lady body cuz it doesn’t look as old as the menopause probably makes it smell…all dusty and shit…but you can cum in her and she won’t get knocked up…which I’d say is probably a first for her…but it isn’t…

Brooke Burke Erotica Bikini Tits and AssBrooke Burke Erotica Bikini Tits and Ass
I can think of someone who did these shots a lil bit better…
ANastasia Ashley Bikini Hotter Than Brooke BurkeANastasia Ashley Bikini Hotter Than Brooke Burke

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|Brooke Burke|SFW

2018

06

Aug

Halsey Thong Surfing of the Day

Halsey Ass in Thong Bikini Surfing in Hawaii

Halsey, everyone’s favorite white as fuck black girl, who despite having a black dad, is living the white life, because no racism was ever put on her growing up, because no one knew she was someone they were supposed to be racist to, so this identifying as black is in a lot of ways cultural appropriation or exploitative and racist in and of itself, whether she’s black or not…because she is so fucking white.

I mean making anything a race thing for attention is fucking crazy, when really she should stick to putting her ass in skimpy suits on the beach….surfing…like black people you do…as surfing is a sport known for their African American surf stars…

Point being, all these clickbait surfers faking it, while we only fuck with one surfer around here and thats Anastasia Ashley

Anastasia Ashley Surf Spread Legs Bikini

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Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|Halsey|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Anastasia Ashley Couple Porn of the Day

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted Anastasia Ashley, professional surfer and bikini posing booty on the beaches of the world…even though she’s got this rocking booty…thanks to surfing her whole life…muscle memory and LATIN roots maybe….

I came across this picture of her and her boyfriend about to have sex or just after sex and thought shit…it’s nice to live in a world where couples post their most special moments of before they are about the have sex…or after they’ve had sex….as long as the booty’s in the middle of the frame…

Thanks to pornos, we are all more interested in seeing people we follow on social media fuck, they are exhibitionists to even have social media, so it seems like the natural thing to do….but they so rarely actually produce a sex tape…so we barely ever get to see penetration….and we are forced to wait like a bunch of assholes….hoping it will one day come…

Around valentines day, moments like this happen, were we can almost see the gateway to a girl’s soul, showcasing her love for a man, and we think…we’re getting closer to that sex tape…keep it coming girl…while being reminded how we’ve failed at life, because our pre-sex / post sex is not something you’d want to ever photograph…not just because the hooker won’t let you document her but because it is humiliating and disgusting…and even pretty sad…

I guess what I am trying to say is that at least there are good looking people in the world to make us feel shitty as we masturbate to the thought of their sex because they put it out there…but they DON’T QUITE PUT IT OUT THERE….

Here she is for the FREE CONFERENCE CALL BANNED FROM THE SUPERBOWL AD because her bikini was too provokative…

Where do you take your board meetings? @freeconferencecall

A post shared by Anastasia Ashley (@anastasiaashley) on

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2017

16

Aug

Anastasia Ashley Does Naked and Afraid of the Day

This is amazing….

Pro surfer and instagram babe with the rocking surf fit ass, who is one of the earlier asses to get instagram famous, you know before every hooker and her friends were taking beach photos sprawling out in bikinis, because they realized they could buy fake followers…and become “Influencers” or “Bloggers”…back when natural fit ass in skimpy bikini that could surf actually MATTERED….but I guess in AA’s case..it will always matter….

Anastasia Ashley, the girl with a reason to be half naked, unlike all the other naked chicks on the internet, is on this week’s episode of Discovery Channel’s Naked and Afraid…and I am all for girls getting naked, especially on survivalist TV shows, where they are left without food and water, in desperate need for someone like me to save them…it’s just too bad no one watches TV anymore because we can assume this is going to be LOLz….

I like to see Discovery making efforts to take the half naked from the internet, put then full naked on their show, don’t feed them, even though we all know girls from the internet don’t eat, they have selfies to take, in what can’t be Facetuned, and that you know will be unflattering…and thus HOT because it’s real…you know like an Instagram photographer getting all them girls naked and locked in his Dubai basement…

I know saying “TV is Real” is hilarious, but in this generation, Dicovery Channel is far more legit than that social media shit, that’s the real clickbait, fantasy, lies…photoshopped and curated to give off illusions…

I don’t have cable, so I won’t be watching this, but the trailer’s pretty good….girl’s got a nice ass though…

Here’s some of her social.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2017

10

Mar

Anastasia Ashley makes Waterfall Porn of the Day

I figure a great way to start your day is with some aspirational video by professional surf ass Anastasia Ashley in her bikini hiking and running around Hawaii like a she’s on a permanent vacation – because she is on permanent vacation – she’s a professional surfer and her job involves hanging out on a beach in a bikini all day – with ripped dudes and other girls with hot asses – while all you idiots who don’t realize you can live a good life – are working your shit 9 – 5 job – making shit money – paying for a shit house and shit kids and you even went to college to make this happen…while our girl…Anastasia Ashley plays in goddamn waterfalls looking hot…what the fuck….went wrong in my life…seriously….everything…but that doesn’t matter….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2017

01

Mar

Anastasia Ashley’s Naked and Afraid of the Day

Anastasia Ashley just tapped out of Discovery Channel’s Naked and Afraid Fan Edition…where she was out in the jungle naked with some Vlogger naked….and they survived not eating, like she’s prepping for a bikini shoot, and not having fire in 50 degree weather, while jungle cats and other animals stalked her….

Good times….you dirty unshowered jungle slut…with your dirty unshowered jungle vagina…exposed to the elements before being wrapped in their Duct Tape survival item…

She was given her phone an hour a day, where she took some selfies…and girl looked animalistic and hot…like a jungle cat of her own…all jungle fever…but in a different way…

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2017

31

Jan

Anastasia Ashley’s Ass of the Day

Here’s some Anastasia Ashley showing off her watch…letting you all know that she is always island time….because she’s worried about you forgetting the reason she’s always in a bikini as she lives her her tropical life….because I know you’re staring at her damn watch…because it’s right next to her iconic fucking ass..

I wish I took this picture….because not because I am a pervert because I have a passion for product shots so long as the product is next to a butt of the surfer with the best surfer butt….it’s what I tried to go to art school for..but it was the 90s…they didn’t see the vision I saw…and here I am practically homeless…when I could have been so much more…a visionary…

That said…I wonder why she’s so dirty…someone better call her a doctor…to look into that…or at least hose her down….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW