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Archive for the Anastasia Ashley Category

2014

05

Dec

Anastasia Ashley’s Nude Pics Have Been Stolen of the Day

So this is a funny, horrible, amazing, and true story…

I am sitting next to Anastasia Ashley right now, so I know the situation first hand…I’ve been listening to it all day…and she’s almost as pissed off as the hooker who was getting beat up in the hotel hallway this morning…

She did a photoshoot/video shoot for a really hot underwear company called Cheeki Brand where she was topless to show off the product…and where she was in all kinds of compromising positions while crawling around topless to get the shots…and the video guy figured instead of putting that nude footage of her in a vault, he’d leave it in his van with all his equipment, park it in South Beach and fingers crossed, hope a crackhead doesn’t break into the car and steal everything because it’s the busiest fucking weekend in Miami…dude should have just sat on the beach and given it away…

All this to say a crackhead is running around with tons of scandalous footage of her – and she is offering a reward to anyone who finds the cards…

The funny thing in all this is how bullshit and staged it seems…I am the first to call out weak publicity stunt….but I’m here seeing it first hand…

So if you’re in Miami, and you’re a girl, let’s have sex.

If you’re in Miami and in the stolen goods market, send over that footage to her so I can go back to staring at her ass when she talks…instead of listening to this….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

15

Nov

Anastasia Ashley Surfs Ireland of the Day

Here’s a little video of Anastasia Ashley surfing Ireland…that may or may not be all about surfing the freezing cold waves, and more about the Irish countryside and landscape of pub drinking and farm lands…where she is forced to wear a wet suit, instead of the skimpiest bathing suits to show off her surf ass, which may make you wonder why I am posting it, being the pervert that I am, and I guess because I like seeing girls who do more than just post ass pics, coupled with the fact that her ass owns me at the level where I’ll post anything she’s in….clothed or unclothed…and I am still waiting on the sex tape..I’ve been sending emails…trying to convince her to do one…it will happen…one day…it has to…I am persistent…and you all need to see her vs Anal…

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

07

Nov

Anastasia Ashley Sweater Porn for Esquire of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is the fucking worst…but I love her.

She’s also a surfer, who is definitely not surfing the big wave I want her to be surfing, the one above my dick that happens every time I move or slap my fat as fuck belly, after being bloated from drinking and diabetes, because I am disgusting…

I guess when she’s not surfing, she is in Esquire modelling sweaters, not quite as erotic, on all fours, topless, or while shoving said sweaters inside her to keep her empty womb full and warm….but I guess that would be a different kind of Sweater fetish shoot, it would be actual sweater porn, and that wouldn’t be too next level for a corporate and sterile men’s fashion and lifestyle magazine…

But I guess her pantsless in sweaters is still a hot enough concept, even though it could be a hot as fuck concept…next time they need to step it up….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

18

Sep

Anastasia Ashley for Galore of the Day

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Anastasia Ashley…but I have…in fact I have probably done at least one post defending her as a surfer…and probably 50 on various sex acts, some of them criminal, that I would do to her if she didn’t have that restraining order against me – because some girls don’t see love when it is parked in a van outside their house…and don’t feel romance…when they find strange men in their bathtub filled with dirty bikinis…

Either way, she’s in this lovely shoot, that should have a lot more pictures than this, for my good friends at GALORE MAGAZINE …it reminds me of the good times…filled with lemonada and broken dreams of conjoined twins…

All this to say, if this is what surfing looks like…I wish I was a shark so that I could eat it all up…

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

16

Sep

Anastasia Ashley in Maxim of the Day

Maxim doesn’t let me post their content because they are cocksucking lawyers who don’t like that I laugh at how they’ve failed in adapting to the internet – as their magazine died off and the caliber of their women pretty much went to shit…they threaten to sue me always…

But I guess with all multi million dollar brands, they have turned things around, have repackaged their garbage and have lured better quality girls….at least that is what I am going to assume after watching this softcore pornography behind the scenes video of Anastasia Ashley…that makes me want to take on surfing, as long as surfing involves masturbating on surfer girl ass while they do silly erotic poses by the pool without cracking a smile or laughing at herself…which takes serious fucking talent in and of itself…
?Either way, she’s a babe.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

03

Sep

Anastasia Ashley in Some City Surfing of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is a professional surfer – who you may or may not recognize from her hot, round surfer ass.

She was recently in NYC where she shot these pictures with photographer LAST SUSPECT…that involved her in a bathing suit, rockin’ her surfboard in the middle of Manhattan, and I think the whole thing is pretty awesome.

Sure, I’d rather see her doing squats naked in her sex tape that I like to think every surfer should have, I mean every girl should have…and sure, I’d rather see her surfing naked in leaked photos from her hacked iCloud…and sure anything that involves seeing genitals is better than this…but I guess not everything is about genitals…you pervert. Some things are also about round asses in bathing suits lookin’ good enough to want to pull a back alley shark attack, you know to help make her feel like her urban surfing is actually ocean surfing….right.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

27

Aug

Anastasia Ashley Bikini Snapshots in Ibiza for TheHeadHuntr of the Day

My friends over at THEHEADHUNTR met up with international surf sensationand Sports Illustrated titty model – with fans everywhere because not only does she risk her life riding massive waves that make you look like a little bitch…but she’s also got a big round ass that you can appreciate even if you aren’t black…that’s why we call her An-Ass-Tasia..Ass is her name..literally.

I like to assume she’s an anal queen because when you’re built like this…you gotta use your natural abilities to their full capabilities…especially when you’re a competitive surfer who likes to win – but I guess I like to think every girl is an anal queen, because they grew up on porn, you can’t get pregnant with anal, and most importantly – it is the window into a girl’s soul…and if any girl, not just one with an amazing round surf ass didn’t use it, they’d be wasting their god given talent…

They were in Ibiza, I can only assume with Kate Moss, Liv Tyler, Miranda Kerr and Wyclef Jean…who were also in Ibiza…because why else would a surfer be in Ibiza, it’s not like people surf there…they just do hard drugs and dance…topless…

Either way, this point and shoot snapshot series…is what vacation photos are all about…if you have a tight body like this to go on vacation with. My vacation photos involve more fat wife eating obscene amounts of food – offending everyone near her….

Here’s Anastasia..

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

22

Aug

Lighthouse Picture of the Day

Nice lighthouse…I am always into pretty scenic shots, you know artistic landscapes, as long as there is a bikini ass in them…

Obnoxious faux artist photographers like to take pics of these landscapes and puppies on their instagram so that girls don’t think they are creepers even though any asshole who posts pics of landscapes or puppies on his instagram, claiming to be a photographer, is just doing that shit to get girls in his studio and trap them like Terry Richardson, who has turned to a life of posting pics of his travels rather than sluts on his blog, because that’s how you maintain an image…

.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2014

08

Aug

Anastasia Ashley Promotes Her Jewelry Line the Best of the Day

Anastasia Ashley is a magical creature sent from the beach, to the internet, via 1000s of bikini pics…who along with showcasing her awesome fit ass, like so many other girls try to do…is also a professional surfer…so she has a good excuse…and it also means she makes her living surfing…and that’s pretty fucking amazing considering how most of the world makes their living by not surfing but rather doing shitty fucking jobs that contribute to making some other asshole rich…

Well, it looks like Anastasia, as lovely as she is, has ventured out to start her own Jewelry line , and it’s safe to say that these pics are probably the bet way I’ve seen Jewelry marketed, not that I’ve ever seen Jewelry marketed, but you get what I am saying and that is that the Jewelry doesn’t matter…thanks to that ass.

See Her Jewelry HERE

See Her Jewelry HERE

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley