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Archive for the Ass Category

2010

01

Jun

Kelly Brook Ass in Some Sneaker Ad of the Day

I have a lazy pig of a wife who never really does anything that involves getting off the couch or eating prepared food. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her clean, do laundry, shower or cook…even though you’d think someone her size would love cooking and would have to clean both her clothes and herself because of the constant sweating….but laziness always overcomes…So I love seeing women in traditional gender roles, when bitches would spend the days at home cooking and cleaning and fucking the mailman out of boredom, while the husband was at the office making money while fucking the secretary, the cleaning staff, the neighbor’s wife…so this pictures of Kelly Brook get me and my needs and touch me on an emotional level, but unfortunatley are totally unbelievable, because I know any bitch that looks this good is married to a dude who has enough money to pay a staff and is just as lazy as my wife to do these menial everyday chores left for the common folk and migrant workers….it’s like this is the other end of the fucking spectrum of pig women, but at least she looks good when pretending…

Posted in:Ass|Kelly Brook

2010

27

May

Nicole Scherzinger Ass in Tight Pants of the Day

Nicole Scherzinger won dancing with the stars because she’s a professional dancer and if it wasn’t for the Pussycat Dolls, she would have probably been one of the professional dancers that are hired to dance with the dance retarded stars who aren’t really stars as doing this show is pretty much only done after they’ve reached the end of the fucking celebrity line….it’s just that the name is misleading….and apparently so are Nicole Scherzinger’s ass, because after staring at them for a while, there’s no way there’s a set of balls to match her hard dude face she can thank botox for…and she is in fact just a hot bodied bitch whose insecurities have wronged her face….and apparently also wronged her upper body in this shitty choice of shirts…but really who gives a fuck cuz this post, the fact she wrongfully won a show that is wrongfully a huge success on air, and is really all about the ass pic.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Nicole Scherzinger

2010

24

May

Lindsay Lohan Flashes Her Ass of the Day

These are old pictures of Lohan in terms of celebrity gossip….they are from last week and you have probably seen them. I am only posting them cuz bitch is in court right now and this is my tribute to her and celebrity justice and the lack of it. If I was as criminal as some of them I would have been locked up a long time ago and more importantly if I was one of them and locked up, it’d be in some really luxurious prison….life is unfair…

The update is that Lohan is not going to jail and that all she has to do is wear a SCRAM bracelet, that monitors alcohol in her blood…I feel ripped off….

I emailed Lohan earlier today telling her to take advantage of the attention…have a freak out…start a campaign to legalize drinking and driivng…to take her million dollars and move to Southeast Asia and live like royalty…there are so many things she can do with this legal scandal that could be a lot of fun and that she should fucking do it….but she never answered me…..

So all I gotta say is that we’ve come a long way from Lindsay Lohan being the girl everyone wants to fuck…..she has finally become the girl we want to run up and cover-up, not cuz we feel bad for her, cuz her privileged life has been so hard on her, but because we feel bad for ourselves cuz we’re forced to look at that shit….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Jail|Lindsay Lohan

2010

20

May

Gisele and Camila Alves in the Hottest Postnatal Workout Group of the Day

Where I am from, the only postnatal workout group a bitch joins is when they get hired for a gangbang party for businessmen in town for a conference….but sometimes when I am in the part I see some ghetto bitches walking around in circles with their kids smoking cigarettes who I always assume met at some halfway house for battered new mothers on welfare….and then there’s the rich part of town’s public pool where at 10 am daily the spic pussy comes in for mommy/baby swimming classes, only they aren’t the babies, they are just busy carrying the babies around while the white women head to their postnatal workout class…but I guess things worked out differently for these whores….because they are rich and Hollywood and the only bed making they do is getting knocked up by white dudes….living the American dream…

I’m not convinced Gisele is a real woman or if she had a real baby, but I like her ass regardless….and Camila Alves is just bonus.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Camila Alves|Gisele Bundchen

2010

11

May

Lady Gaga Shows Off Her Ass of the Day

This Lady Gaga act is fucking boring. It amazes me that she’s managed to trick people into buying into her lie. But then again, there’s a whole lot of popular bullshit that people buy into so whether she is bullshit or not, she’s still got a fan base…..even though there is nothing creative or interesting about her. She just has big marketing budgets behind her and in the fickle world we live in, I am sure she’ll eventually fade into obscurity where she belongs.

The main thing we have working against us is that the population has gone very gay and lesbian, and for some reason gay and lesbian believe she represents them, and they don’t care that she’s fucking ugly, cuz they aren’t as superficial as us, all this making her far more rich and delusional that she is relevant than she deserves…..but then again she has helped get girls to rock the no’ pants, and I even saw a bitch walking into a club with no pants on, meaning it’s gone mainstream, so I guess she’ll be remembered for that revival a legacy I get behind, as long as she goes away soon and lucky for us, if we can stomach seeing Gaga like this, we’ll be glad to see actual women rock it, cuz actual women are substantially better looking that whatever Gaga is….

Either way, here she is showing off her Ass in Hamburg, cuz I guess part of her bullshit is spreading it around the fucking globe like she was Aids in the 80s and not just because her face looks like Aids in the 80s….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Ass|Lady Gaga

2010

11

May

Kim Kardashian Ass in a Tight Dress of the Day

Kim Kardashian is a tacky piece of shit who needs to go on a diet. She’s in a dress so tight that you’d think shit would squeeze her into a skinny bitch, but I guess that’s what she was going for too, unfortunately it didn’t work out, mainly because of her belly button, shit is casting a shadow in the shit so big I understand why a black dude would confuse her for a fucking toilet. She shoulda taken some of the candy she clearly stuffs down her face into the shit, or maybe even doubled up on the SPANX, but then again, it’s kinda hard to hide your fat when you don’t care that everyone know you are fat….

It still amazes me that girls like this exist, with their tacky style. Fake hair, pounds of make-up, shitty style, fake celebrity and fake sex appeal and their friendship with the Botox Faced person responsible for the Pussycat Dolls….you’d think they were a cartoon character, but unfortunately, they aren’t.

Here she is from a bunch of angles, none of which compliment her figure…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress

2010

06

May

Jessica Jane Clement is Half Naked for Some Ad of the Day

I’m not marketing person, but I do know if you get some hot model to be half naked in your campaign, you should make sure she’s got your product in her ass, pussy or squeezed between her tits so that the people you are trying to reach and seduce with her half naked body know what they are fucking looking at and what the fuck they are supposed to buy, instead of just cocktease them with some whore who looks better half naked than their wives, girlfriend, or dude on the internet they talk to thinking is a girl they are going to fly to America to meet….

I’m also not a jock frat boy from the UK who likes trashy bitches or makes celebrities out of these gutter whores who look like they were fucked by their dad’s in the trailer park before making a break for fame….you know who look like gutter strippers but aren’t actually stripping in seedy bars where they belong, but instead in campaigns…and that shit just feeds their egos too much and makes them think they are anything but trashy haired whores….it gives them self-worth and buys them nice things and takes away your chance to fist her for 10 dollars at a bachelor party cuz life worked out for her….

It’s cheap it’s poorly executed, but there’s a half naked cunt I’ve never heard of and complaining about that would be gay.

Posted in:Ass|Jessica-Jane Clement|Lingerie

2010

06

May

Jessica Biel’s Ass in Jeans of the Day

Here is the ass that Justin Timberlake sings to at night when it’s sleeping and he’s done watching gay porn. The ass that he tries to finger before she straps on and fucks him from behind so that he can smell her shit on his fingers while she has his way with him like the bitch you all know he is thanks to his angelic voice and Lou Perlman….in one of those reliving the memories of being molested as a kid that made him the riches he has….only now there’s none of that “Not fitting in” he had to deal with as a little boy that made him feel inadequate for not getting Lou Perlman off while Joey Fatone had no problem fitting Lou Perlman in….cuz Biel has a whole bucket full of strap-on attachments….those are just the perks of being rich….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Jessica Biel

2010

06

May

Halle Berry’s Pink Half Black Ass of the Day

I guess Halle Berry is trying to connect with her 1/2 white side, her 3/4 white kid and her 100 percent white ex-husband, because she’s out with the word’s pink on her ass….but then again…a rapper once told me something important about women and that’s that they are all pink on the inside, you just gotta flip the lip to find it sometimes, so maybe she’s making reference to her pussy now that she’s single, but I like to believe it’s got more to do with the fact that she’s already milked the African American shit, she got an Oscar for it, and she can fall back into her rich white life she’s created for herself, and wearing this pink shit is just trying to fit in with her other rich women from her baby swimming classes who she gets salads with 3 times a week….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Half Black|Halle Berry|Pink

2010

05

May

Janice Dickinson Flexes Her Ass of the Day

Janice Dickinson is flexing her ass for the paparazzi and nothing says a horrible looking ass like a bitch who clenches the shit like she’s trying to fight off anal sex rapists in prison. There’s something that happens when a bitch clenches her ass like she’s holding in her shit that makes her ass look like it belongs on a dude but I guess in Janice Dickinson’s case that doesn’t matter because at her low level of sex appeal, there’s nothing she can really do to make her look better or worse, she’s like a gay dude with HIV who now doesn’t have to worry about catching HIV, in an “Anything Goes” kind of thing….but at least she’s not fat.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Flexing|Janice Dickinson

2010

22

Apr

Meagan Good Shows Off Her Ass in Shorts of the Day

I still don’t know who Meagan Good is, but I figure that as long as she’s dressed like a hooker in Pretty Woman, I’ll notice her. Not necessarily because she’s hot, but because the era when Pretty Woman hit gave me re-vamped hope that my broke ass would fine love on the street, unfortunately leading to some pretty miserable, abusive, dirty smelling adventures, because street whores don’t actually want designer clothes, they want fucking crack.

I’ll also notice her cuz she’s black and I like to channel women of colored, not necessarily because I have slave/plantation owner from the 1800 fantasies, but because black girls hate me and my small dick and it makes me want them….I guess you’d say I have jungle fever because the jungle has always told me I can’t get past the gates…I haven’t even had a blowjob from a black chick cuz even the black street hookers turn me down…it’s like I’ve got some blackness repellant that I don’t know how to get rid of but I do know that I’m missing out…

So little shorts, whore boots and working your ass for a camera is always a good look, unless you’re a man, in which case it is massively gay….unfortunately Meagan Good’s ass isn’t that interesting, but her tattoos and style are ghetto enough for me to remember my back alley encounters on the street….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Gutter Whore|Meagan Good|Shorts

2010

22

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Fat Ass Tries to Unlock her Car of the Day

I am a firm believer of kicking bitches when they are down, especailly when they’ve been treated too well in life up until now….and Mischa Barton is clearly really fucking down….and no one has told her emotionally eating won’t get her out of it…but maybe enough hard drugs she’s clearly been dabbling in will…so here’s the pig trying to unlock her car door but she’s having issues cuz pigs don’t know how to unlock car doors cuz they’re too busy rolling around in their own filth being pigs…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Mischa Barton

2010

22

Apr

Gisele is an Off-Duty Model Showing Off Her Ass of the Day

When I think about a bikini model’s ass pictures, even when that bikini model is rumored to be a dude, I don’t think about this, but since I believe everything I’m told and since she looks a lot like a girl to me, with her skinny body and long hair, she’s good enough to check out her ass in jeans, but then again, I check out every single pussy that walks by me, big or small, young or old, cuz there’s no such thing as discrimination when it comes to pussy, unless you consider paying women less than men, giving them less opportunity than men, basing their intelligence on their bra size, encouraging them to raise the kids, run the household, while being the breadwinner as I sit on my ass pretending to job hunt discrimination, but I don’t….I call it giving them what they asked for, considering men never complained in the 50s when their wives were their posessions to do what they want with…this is progression cunts and here’s Gisele’s ass even though she may not have a cunt…

On a sidenote, off-duty bikini models dressed in everyday clothes seems to be my new porn…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Model|Off-Duty Model

2010

21

Apr

Sophie Marceau Ass for the Necrophiliacs of the Day

Here is an almost erotic clip of Sophie Marceau’s Old Lady Ass, if you’re a necrophiliac and like your bitches to look like they are lying in a locker at the morgue before you have your way with them, something hard to introduce into sex on the first date, in a “come on baby, let me just paint your lips this shade of blue and you just lay there like you’re dead and let me have my way with you ok?”, that’s why I always just recommend really strong sedatives to my necrophiliac friends….

I’m not cultured or into other cultures, but french movies have offered some of the best real sex scenes in a movie, like this one called Baisse Moi that I jerked off to at least once, because there was actual penetration, in a movie that wasn’t considered porn, something that makes sense…It’s like why pretend to fuck when you should actually be fucking to make your role look a lot more authentic than the love scenes Hollywood likes to include in their movies….

Some other bitch was in the movie named Linett Hernandez Valdes, not to be confused with Juan Valdez, the Columbian “coffee farmer” cuz “coffee” is Columbia’s number one export in terms of hiding cocaine in the shipments….she showed tit, I like black chicks, especially when latina even though I’d expect more out of this AFROTINA since this was her first role….

By the way, the movie is called L’Homme de Chevet if you ever want to ignore it at the movie store or pretend you saw it to a bitch you want to impress….

Posted in:Ass|L'Homme de Chevet|Linett Hernandez Valdes|Sophie Marceau|Tits

2010

20

Apr

Kim Kardashian Stuffs Her Fat Face and Shows Off Her Fat Ass of the Day

Kim Kardashian has finally figured out the magic formula of what will get her noticed and what will get people talking about her and that is her ass. That’s not to say that she didn’t know that’s all people cared about before, it’s just to say that with the success of her show, she lost focus of why people even knew she existed.

Back when she was first starting out, she knew people just wanted to see her naked, and the only reason she was being talked about was because she was Paris Hilton’s friend with the crazy body black dudes love, so she filmed a fucking sex tape and exploited herself as hard as she could, but then with TV fame came even more laziness from an already lazy pig of a woman and she didn’t bother…

But all of a sudden, she’s decided it’s time to get back out there and here she is doin’ it by letting the paparazzi take pictures of her ass, which is a hell of a lot better than her inter-city public urinal face.

Any way you dice it, this bitch is fucking disgusting…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress