Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba playing mom to her kid since she is a mom now…not that you even remember who Jessica Alba is because she’s wronged you by taking the pregnancy plunge and quickly became insignificant…..
Which is crazy because her career relied on being the young, hot, half spic pussy who didn’t have a kid so everyone wanted a piece of, fantasizing about trying to give her a kid, but she let her emotions get the best of her and figured she had already made enough money if her career would end and knew she could afford to fade into obscurity if that was the worse case scenario, as long as she was locked into her man who was going to leave her prior to the pregnancy for life, but she is the kind of cunt who probably had an ego that didn’t even let her believe that her career would ever dry up, I mean she was the MTV award winner of best actor at least 10 times….i
Either way, like the hot moms on my street who worked back into their stripper bodies, bending their stripper bodies in a variety of hot positions while tending to their half-black stripper offspring, I like to watch but what do you don’t see in these pictures is her violated vagina lips dragging on the city sidewalk….she’s probably thanking god for pants…but I know I’m not…
Lily Allen was out showing her ass crack in her stupid hat and I can only assume it’s got to do with having a broken vagina. You know, like the virgin I used to hang with who would still suck dick and get with dudes, but her vagina was off limits, only Lily Allen’s no virgin, she just has anxiety about getting a dick near her after what happened last year. She sees cock as a weapon that destroys hopes and dreams by planting it’s seed and ripping it out from under your fingers when sitting on a toilet or on the hospital bed with a vacuum up your box because the pregnancy came at an inopportune time.
I used to always get surprised when I’d see the skater-punks like Avril in my neighborhood bending over to pick up their skateboards and seeing that they were rockin’ a thong under their baggy jeans and Punk Band T-shirt. I always expected them to be the kind of girls who wear men’s underwear or at least boy shorts that look like men’s underwear, because it just made sense, since they were pretending to be dudes. But the reality is that they weren’t pretending to be dudes, they were pretending to be skater-punks and l’d never get surprised seeing those same girls a year later rockin’ UGGS, American Apparel leggings and over-sized vintage dresses like they were Lindsay Lohan, because every girl influenced by the media’s gotta grow out of the poser-punk Avril Lavigne, Tony Hawk Pro Skater, candy-coated bullshit who sits around all day learning tricks and chasing boys and who drinks 40s with her friends while smoking weed in the park blowjob phase and turn into a cocaine dabbling, club going, vodka cranberry loving, dancing on the bar before sucking off a chachi in the bathroom then going back to a hotel party for an orgy phase. It’s just the normal course of becoming a woman.
Either way, I was expecting Avril to be rockin’ a pair of board shorts and not a pair of tight boy shorts, but I guess girls becoming a woman now that she’s married and shit and feels ok showing off the ass she never had growing up but has now that she’s older. I can only hope the next time these kinds of pictures hit she’ll be wearing something a little more lady-like, like her punk rock vagina, because from what I’ve been told, there’s nothing more lady-like than pussy.
The rumor is she’s pregnant, but doesn’t look like she’s pregnant in these pictures, but I’m not a doctor, I just pretend to be when it comes in handy, like that time the old lady fainted at the mall and I got to give her mouth to mouth. She may have tasted like Werthers and Cod Liver Oil but I still got a boner and that never happens. Or the time I convinced this chick at the coffee shop that her cough was serious and that I had to give her a full physical in the bathroom to get to the root of the problem and instead of using surgical gloves I used my tongue, and when we were done I prescribed her Tylenol on a Starbucks napkin….fine that never happened but I still say that Avril isn’t knocked up.