I guess Eva Mendes is a fag hag or in Europe, because she’s here on some yacht with a bunch of men who have to be gay…or European.
I don’t have anything else to say about this. I could go on a rant about pretending you are gay to get women naked , or on your boat in some shit you’d expect to see the slut on “The Golden Girls” to be wearing in her Florida home, but why fuckin’ bother, all you want to do is look at the pictures anyway…
There’s not much hotter than some Sloppy Royal Tits. Not because they are worth a lot of money, or because they embody class and elegance, or because they are a product of incest to keep their Sloppy Royal Tit blood blue, but because I have no standards. Today just started. Are you ready for it?
I always thought that when lesbians got together they fucked each other with non-penis shaped objects, like dolphin dildos, you know because they hate cock. I also thought they’d do the scissor pussy rub, eat each other out, maybe talk about bullshit, stage a protest about gay marriage, tie themselves to a tree for the environment, shop for lesbian sandals, maybe hate on men for violating them, or objectifying them by punching their penis pillow, maybe they shave their heads, or grow out their armpit hair, I mean I just don’t fuckin’ know, because I don’t know real life lesbians, the only girl on girl action I’ve experienced has been college girls experimenting for a lot of male attention, so actual lesbians are like mythical creatures to me, but thanks to Rosie, I know that lesbians go on boat rides.
Kate Moss is topless on a yacht again. I am a fan, not really sure why, but that’s just how it is. It’s nice knowing that while she was out getting some sun in luxury, I was sitting on my ghetto couch that smells like piss, because we found it in an alley and every summer the smells of its past start to seep into my shitty apartment, waiting for something interesting to happen to me, and the only exciting thing that did happen was an irregular heartbeat that convinced me I was dying, despite everyone telling me that god doesn’t off people like me, he enjoys watching our suffering too much. I hope that”s true because I have been enjoying my permanent summer vacation, poverty stricken life lately becuase struggle makes me laugh especially when I have these famous cunts to constantly remind me of my inadequacies and poor life planning skills.
Karen Mulder is some model who was big at some point in her career and tried to kill herself in 2002 by taking pills like she was Owen Wilson. IN 2006 she had a kid and I am reading wikipedia right now…..
Speaking of suicide and kids, I am always fascinated when a guy tells me he has a kid, it means that some girl liked him enough to keep his baby and I just can’t seem to grasp that concept, because girls never even liked me enough to have sex with me when sober, return my calls when, admit they ever banged me, or talk to me if they ever ran into me on the street.
Either way, I landed my wife because she was really fucking lonely and even she wouldn’t have had another kid to keep me around so I am pretty much this dude who will never have a kid because no girl would carry my baby and I will always remain fascinated with guys who tell me that a woman either wants their kid or has their kid, because it means they are doing something I am not and that they are by far more a man than I’ll ever be. I have low self-esteem but the only because after years of the same message being driven down my throat you realize that you suck at something, in my case life. I think it makes for good comedy.
At least better comedy than your depressing life… living the suburban life, with the suburban middle management job you hate, going home to your boring wife who is 35 pounds heavier than when you first met, and ugly kids… making your monthly payments on your house and car…over-extending yourself because you want to take the family to Disneyland, or because your kid’s in private school because you want a better life for him and you need to buy him designer clothes so he doesn’t feel inadequate amongst his peers…Or you’re living at home with your mom, unable to find a job, jerking off more than ever, spending your time online trying to find pussy but even the girls you pay to go on cam won’t show you their cunts…forcing your to carve a vagina into your bedpost, the same bed you slept on when you were ten, because that’s the only thing that would fuck you…….I guess there’s a lot funny about that..
Here are some pictures of Karen Mulder, the bitch who failed at killing herself because she takes life and herself too fucking seriously, while on a boat tanning in St Tropez because life is so hard on her….don’t take yourself too seriously, have fun with your shortcomings because if you can’t laugh about shit you end up being miserable, and there’s nothing fun about crying, now is there, pussy. I am pretty inspirational. I am like a modern day Batman…