The newest trend for celebrity erotica as far as I’m concered is this calf porn without the baby cows. Today’s edition is brought to us by Stuff by Hilary Duff.
Speaking of Stuff by Hilary Duff, there was a time not that long ago that Suff by Hilary Duff K-Mart display of products and a couple oversized flesh colored bra and panty sets in my size provided hours of masturbation fun in the changing room. Now the only thing plus sized is Hilary Duff’s ass.
I assume she needs the fat as protective padding that comes in handy when her boyfriend’s hockey team decide to do initiation on her ass to build team morale, but it’s not so lovely to look at.
This is my second Gossip Girl post today and I’ve never even seen the show, but I am thinking that maybe it’s time to start. Not because these useless celebrity chicks on the show are slowly winning me over with their long amazing legs, or because of the lesbian shit (see previous post) but because it is safe to say a lot of younger girls watch the shit and it’s nice to have something to talk to them about, you know having some common ground can lead to serious blowjobs, especially if you work as a substitute teacher….just something to think about while looking at Lively’s legs in some expensive street whore boots….
Audrina wore boots you’d expect a whore with fake tits to wear so I haven’t really figured out if this is news or just expected, I just know I really didn’t want to give her any attention on the site because I want her to go away, but I’m too insignificant to make a difference and she’s more important than me and as horrible of a realization that is, I’m okay with it because I never had high hopes for myself and that’s all I have to say about that.
Here are some pictures of some more interesting pussy at the party, but only cuz she looks like she’s alive and having a good time….
Lohan is taking this whole lesbian thing pretty fucking seriously. It won’t be long before she shaves her head and leaves her bangs, gains 80 pounds, wears flannel and rips off dicks for a full time job. I guess the actor in her makes living this lie a lot easier for her because she gets into fuckin’ wardrobe, gets gay married and jumps through the lesbian hoops only a molested fat girl could really understand like it was a fucking movie role.
I am not saying that she’s not bumping vagina with Ronson, I am not saying that they aren’t in love and I am not saying she’s denounced cock because she’s had enough of it to last a normal girls lifetime numerous times over and every single one of those cocks has turned its back on her because no one respects anyone that easy and no one sticks around after they get what they want after the first hour of knowing a person. I am also not saying that FEZ from that 70s show didn’t fuck up her idea of relationships because he was older than her and tricked her into banging him and made her want to marry him before leaving him or that she has trust issues stemming from her cheating drunk father. But I am saying that this lesbian shit is just working for her now, because she’s an unstable, boring, sensitive piece of shit with no sense of humor and this is won’t last forever. It’s just a phase and I’ve seen in time and time again with broken hearted, addict girls who work at the strip club.
In all honesty, I like Sam Ronson a lot. I think she’s fuckin’ cool, down to earth and even kinda talented, but she is in over her head with this Lohan trash. Having to deal with this broken down cunt that we’d all probably like to help breakdown a littel more than it already is, is probably a lot to deal with and no pussy is worth that kind of energy.
Either way, here’s indentity confused Lohan rockin’ her lesbian boots to help both her and the public believe her childish, useless sexuality lie.
Here are some pictures of Britney Spears using a public bathroom for Handicap people because no matter how big you are, literally and figuratively, you are never too important to use the bathroom, because when you gotta go, you gotta go. The big surprise in this is that there’ no toilet paper hanging out of her dress, or dragging along the ground stuck to her shoe and all I keep wondering is not whether she washed her hands, but whether she even bothered wiping….Was she the kind of girl who hovers over the seat, or the kind who doesn’t even bother putting the seat down, did she take a pee, or a poo or was it a drug stop….or was she just going in to check herself out in the mirror to make sure who wig was on proper…because keeping up appearances is one of her hobbies. I guess the real health concern in all this is that the poor fucker who uses the toilet after her, may have some serious issues in 4-8 weeks.
I hate public bathrooms, sure I have passed out in my fair share, but I would never use a public toilet, I’d rather shit myself. I don’t care what all those studies say about the impossibility of getting an STD from the shit, because I know one night while high on GHB with a group of friends in a club 10 years ago, we all got the shits. And had no choice but to go….and coincidentally every single one of us got crabs. I know do crabs even exist. they are like the mythical pubic hair creatures used as a scare tactic, but after getting them, I can safely do exist and they are fucking assholes.
Either way, here are the Britney Public Bathroom pics.
Lohan is the kind of girl I think I will always love. She was my original celebrity obsession on this site and I tried everything I could to get in touch with her. I used to stalk her co-workers, I used to leave her voicemail messages, I used to harass Filipino kids pretending to be Lohan on Myspace. It was a big part of my life work that really never materialized. In those years I’ve seen her go from a big breasted barely 18 sex pot to a washed up 21 year old broken down pick-up truck with herpes, addiction and an eating disorder. She’s been hospitalized, arrested, in accidents. She’s had breakdowns and freak outs and itall started when her first love, the immigrant on That 70s Show broker her heart. She took some insane self destructive path to fill the void that he left by going on to have sex with everyone, while he continued to live life as is banging regular girls 10 times hotter than Lohan that were impressed by his “fame”. The biggest problem in all this is that in her path to death she never released a sex tape and at the course she’s going, she may die and then that vagina will be off limits for ever and I will never reach my goal in getting her herpes.
An ad agency for some drug rehab center in Jersey released the “Don’t Die Lindsay” ad today. It’s one of those riding a celebrity coat tail situation to get publicity to your campaign and your company in hopes of getting better business. It’s a pretty standard fucking ad, it’s just text, it’s far from genius, but I am posting it anyway, because I don’t want Lohan to die.
I was at a strip club the other day and one of the girls was brown. Every other girl in the place showed off her box, I’m talking spreading the shit, fingering the shit, sticking it in our faces, you know doing what strippers do. But this brown one kept her underwear on. I figured it was a religious thing, like female circumcision and that’s when it dawned on me. If Lohan was female circumcised when she was 18, like a good little brown girl. She woulda never got into any of these issues. Sure it’s a violent, unethical treatment of women and I can appreciate that it’s disgusting, wrong, psycho and cruel, but shit woulda done wonders for Lohan and her career. That’s all I’m saying.
Here are some pics of Lohan in some boots, with leggings on, showing off her hot little ass that she’s put a “Hello, My Name is Sober Fun” sticker on, while rockin’ an ironic shirt telling us not to follow her….without realizing that we need to follow her to stare at her ass….but at least she’s communicating with us. I figure that’s step 1 in trying to fuck her.
Here is a picture of Alyson Hannigan in fuck me boots, because fuck me boots were so fucking popular a few years ago that everywhere you went girls would be rockin’ them with a hot short skirt, but for some reason shit shifted, fuck me boots were considered too whorish for girls to wear, because they were called fuck me boots, and they were done feeding into the degradation. Maybe they got a boyfriend or became a feminist or some kind of hippie tree hugger who works at the organic food store who hates me because I don’t recycle and doesn’t wear shoes because they find them oppressive but I know they are still out there and Alsyon Hannigan is reminding us that they exist while reminding us that she still exists because let’s face it, being casted as the ugly chick in American Pie should have broken her down enough to realize that she’s the ugly chick no one wants to see on screen.
Either way, it’s too bad that this bitch has to be the one reminding us that Fuck Me Boots are still around because no one wants to fuck her, she’s probably wearing the boots in efforts to get fucked because it’s understood what they imply…the next best thing to wearing fuck me boots would be to wear a “Please Fuck Me” hat, or to walk around, vagina exposed, grabbing her box screaming “I NEED FUCKING DICK”.
That said, I was outside for a few hours and saw some girl who was probably barely 18 walking to school and she was wearing these boots that went up to her fucking vagina. They were some next level pretty woman shit, with a stiletto heel and all, and she was with her mom and I was fuckin’ thrown off as fuck. But not as thrown off as the time my friend told me that he wanted to bang Alyson Hannigan, that shit was just too much to handle and I had no choice but to “peace” on that friendship. That was me using terms of the generation. I am trying to cater to a younger crowd.