Here’s the dumbest concept I’ve ever heard. Some asshole in the UK opened up a coffee shop called “Central Perk” as a recreation to the coffee shop that was in the show “Friends” and they did it with the launch of the 15th anniversary Friends Box set, pretty much meaning that the opening of this coffee shop is about 15 years too late and I guess they proof is in the trash who showed up to the shit like this bitch Chantelle Houghton, who is an ex contestant of UK Big Brother and who heard they were giving out these box sets that she’ll turn around and sell on eBay because she’s spent all her money on eating, as you can tell by her pudgy body, leaving her pretty close to turning to porn, which isn’t going to be that big of a transition, since the fake tan, fake hair, fake tits are already in place…but more importantly because she’s a slut….
I am pretty slow on this because I am pretty fucking hungover. I guess that’s what happens when you drink but drinking shouldn’t be an excuse for me because I try to always be drunk.
I decided that I want to do a video of doing things sober and proving that I can do the same task while drunk…like important shit like performing surgery on someone, operating heavy machinery and whatever else you consider important. I probably won’t do it because I hear the camera adds 10 pounds so I wouldn’t fit in the frame but lucky for you, Britney’s vagina does.
I am not going to write the standard shit about how it probably smells like cheetos or that she’s so dirty and gross because I don’t care what people say and it looks pretty nice and well contained to me and because I am sure the women reading this have way grosser shit going on in their pants and have probably had a lot more unprotected cock than Britney ever has, but you just don’t realize that you’re a slut because you don’t want to admit that shit to yourself and because all your friends are sluts too and because you let the guys wine and dine you while the whole world isn’t watching you so you think you have self-respect. But we know what’s really going on with your meaty fucking junk.
I overheard some chick ranting about Britney replacing the words to the song “Gimme More” with “I’m a Whore”, I felt like my brain had just been raped by her bad joke that she thinks is genius and probably dropping to everyone she sees like she just found the cure to cancer…speaking of rape now you can live out those Britney rape fantasies with a picture of her box, instead of that useless drawing you made on the back of a cocktail napkin.
These Big Brother chicks are fucking crazy. I guess the producers of the show try to find the most obscure and slutty girls they can because they want people to tune in, so reality is that these pictures of a 19 year old on the show named Chanelle showing her box aren’t that much of a surprise. These were emailed into me and I have issues recognizing people so I don’t even know if this really is the same chick, but I am posting them anyway as a protest to every other blog and their fat Beyonce in a bikini pictures that I don’t really give a shit about because I don’t like fat chicks in bathing suits and bitch is already famous and has too much fucking money. I would rather help some poor British chick that obviously craves attention and probably has daddy issues and likes the thought of men jerkin off to her become a household name, because I’ve already seen her box and she’s just starting out.
I realized that I am pretty old and washed up. I went out drinking on Saturday night and met up with a guy who was already on a 2 day bender. I ended up crashing and burning and not remember anything that happened while he kept going strong well into last night while I was in bed by 9 while he was at the pool with chicks in their G-strings. If I was younger and more ambitious I probably would have been there by his side getting pics and trying to convince them to do a slutty photo shoot for the site since she’s already 3/4 naked, but instead I refused to leave the fucking house. I am starting to turn into you and that makes me sad.