Cameltoe Archives - Page 4 of 4 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

05

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing of the Day

Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treadmill and that is my theory on this slut.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|Cameltoe|Performing|Unsorted

2007

25

May

I am – Noemie Lenoir in a Bikini on the Beach at Cannes of the Day

273 Comments »

Who the fuck is Noemie Lenoir? Someone google that shit because I am too distracted chatting with guys pretending to be a 14 year old girl in some chat room trying to set up meetings in the park because I want to do my own stepOFFENDER feature and I figured that’d be a good place to start, then I realized that I may end up luring in one of you, because I think it’s safe to say, my readers are fucking strange.

I made friends with a girl who had a black on blonds fetish, I have seen these kinds of girls around, the blond chick on the arm of some thug. I just assumed that it was mainly strippers dating black dudes because of the whole stripper lifestyle being gangster. I have also seen the pretty obese looking white girls who are with black dudes, but I thought was just because black dudes are the only dudes with dicks big enough to get around their fat asses, so I always thought black on blond porn was designed for black dudes, but I never really stopped to think that black dudes aren’t on the internet, they are out and about doing black things like driving around in Escalades and standing on the street corner rapping to each other and that this porn is really designed for blond girls to get off to…how twisted is that….I am still convinced girls don’t watch porn….so it was like a revelation, if you’re wondering where the tie into the post is, this bitch’s name means “the black” in english and based on these pics I have no idea if she’s black or white, she’s all Michael Jacksoned and I am confused….

I do know that she’s got some major mound exposed…it’s all toe for you…

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Cannes|Noemi Lenoir|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Paris Hilton Panties in the Wind of the Day

1 Comment »

I had a few funny things to write about, because the weekend is over and I was away from the computer for most of it, but I am drunk and don’t remember much. I ended up climbing up the fire escape of some building, and ending up on the roof with 3 bottles of cheap wine. I am not sure how I made my way back down, but I survived.

I am hoping that Paris Hilton won’t survive her 45 days in jail, even though 45 days is more like a vacation than anything for her. She will get special treatment and will probably have a nicer cell than my apartment, and she probably won’t be allowed to hang out with the lesbian muderers and scum that fill up real jail, but part of me really hopes she is. I also hope that she meets some whore that opens her life up to real crime, propelling her into a life in the underbelly of society, denouncing her socialite ways, because I am tired of seeing this cunt all over the fucking place.

Here are some pic of her panties, a little more clothes than the communal showers will let her wear, and this sentence is a fucking celebration, you just haven’t realized it yet.

Again, I am wasted and don’t know what I just wrote, but hope you aren’t wearing pants when you read it…because that is part of the reason I write this piece of shit site….Cuddles….

2006

11

Jul

I am – Rihanna's Vadge Definition of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a 35 year old man and I am writing about some singer’s vagina definition in her little shorts. I am more than aware of how pathetic what I do is. I realize that there comes a time in everyone’s life where the vagina definition in a girls pants shouldn’t be a topic of conversation. It makes me a sleazy piece of shit and I am okay with that because I figure my 10 readers are also sleazy pieces of shit so none of you are judging.

I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether this new short style is hotter than the tennis skirts of last year. The conclusion is simple, shorts are hotter because they hug the ass. I am a modern day philosopher, now remember that and I fucking hate you.

Posted in:Cameltoe|Rihanna|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

11

Jul

I am – Rihanna’s Vadge Definition of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a 35 year old man and I am writing about some singer’s vagina definition in her little shorts. I am more than aware of how pathetic what I do is. I realize that there comes a time in everyone’s life where the vagina definition in a girls pants shouldn’t be a topic of conversation. It makes me a sleazy piece of shit and I am okay with that because I figure my 10 readers are also sleazy pieces of shit so none of you are judging.

I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether this new short style is hotter than the tennis skirts of last year. The conclusion is simple, shorts are hotter because they hug the ass. I am a modern day philosopher, now remember that and I fucking hate you.