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Archive for the Canada Category

2008

23

Oct

Halle Berry is Stalking Me of the Day

Like all smart Americans, Halle Berry is setting up shop in Canada in the event Obama loses the election at least that’s what I think she’s doing.

She recently bought a house that is less than 1 hour away from me, because her pretty boy baby daddy model is from this shitty city I live in and I guess he’s getting homesick and wants his mommy and daddy involved in the upbringing of his million dollar lottery ticket and Halle Berry is committed to making her baby daddy happy, or some shit, because she just doesn’t want to be another statistic, you know single black parent in the ghetto that is Beverly Hills or Malibu or wherever the fuck they live.

I like the pretend that Esquire’s most beautiful girl of 2008 (not 1999 as you would assume) is moving her to be closer to me, but it’s fair to say she doesn’t think I exist, and the truth is I don’t really care that she exists. Sure, she’s hot for a black chick and all, but there’s lots of hot girls in the world, especially when you have no fucking standards, so who needs her.

The only good that can come from this is when I feel like making a million dollars by being a paparazzi and dropping in on them randomly when they are sleeping but I am too lazy or that and because I have a feeling she won’t be using the house at all, she just got it to shut her pretty boy up.

ST. HIPPOLYTE, QUE. – A small town in the Laurentians just got a little more beautiful. Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry and her Montreal partner, model Gabriel Aubry, have bought a house in St. Hippolyte, Que.

The million-dollar home, which the Hollywood star and her boyfriend reportedly bought several weeks ago, sits on 63 acres of land overlooking Molson Lake.’

Aubry, who is the father of Berry’s daughter, grew up near Montreal and his parents still live in the suburb of Laval.

“It feels great, Aubry said “Anything we can do in our own hometown is always a good feeling.”

Source

The big coincidence is I was actually bidding on this property and she swept it from under my nose, when my offer of 14 dollars in quarters was rejected, so now I have reason to really hate her, instead of that whole hate her cuz she doesn’t answer my phone calls bullshit, but here’s the listing, if you care…

Surrounded by sixty-eight acres of privacy and seclusion, this country property features a five acre private spring fed lake and a three bedroom 2,500 sq. ft modern architectural home with various beautiful and original features. This gated estate is less than one hour from Montreal and is accessible by private road. Property has deeded access to Lac à L’Achigan which is less than one kilometer away. For those seeking complete privacy and security this site has it all !

Unique Amenities

Mountain View
Water View
Private Lake
Waterfront

Lac Molson
$1,850,555 (1,850,000 CAD)
Saint-Hippolyte, Quebec, Canada
Estate
Single Family Home
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 1
Size: 2500 sq ft

Here is the house…

Here is a map of the area….if you want to really get to know her….by sneaking on the property late at night when she’s sleeping…

I expect to be invited to the sex parties….I don’t expect that to happen…But I figured I’d just throw it out there….or maybe plot a way to make it happen…but I am not very good at organizing things, and who really wants to see a tired mother who has spent the last 6 months in yoga in attempts to rejuvenate her vagina, at a sex party….

Here’s the Halle Berry Esquire shoot, where Esquire editors had some kind of relapse and thought that it was 1999 and named her the most beautiful girl in the world, a title, I’ve been using to get in girls pants the last 30 years, but it never seems to work out.

Here she is leaving Yoga over a month ago, because I like to stay current….and she likes the idea of her vagina snappin’ back to it’s original shape and tightness….

Here’s a really old one of her wearinga see through shirt while pregnant with pretty boy’s baby….because she’s slutty like that….


And for those of you who don’t care about real estate, here she is in Monster Ball, a pretty good sex scene, except for the whole Billy Bob Thorton part……
GO

Posted in:Canada|Halle Berry|Stalking

2008

24

Sep

MSN CANADA DOES KIDDY PORN AND AUDI SUPPORTS IT OF THE DAY

MSN, Canada, Kiddy Porn
MSN CANADA DOES KIDDY PORN AND AUDI SUPPORTS IT OF THE DAY


I am not a hippie or anything, so I don’t want you to get me wrong in my hatred of corporations. The reason I hate corporations is not because I view them as “the man”, it is because of the double standards that lie between corporations and people like me. It’s like they are untouchable. If I was to post a picture of Brooke Shields in a sheer lacy top when she was 13 years old, I’d go to fuckin’ jail, but when MSN does it, they get advertisers like Audi up on board, paying INSANE prices just to be there, while I can’t manage to even find a porn advertiser willing to give me 50 fuckin’ dollars. I am not saying my site is comparable to an MSN celebrity site, but if it was, then maybe I could afford to pay the fucking paparazzi for fucking images and all my troubles would be behind me.

The truth is that this post wasn’t intended to be a bitchfest, you know, me whining about how I am wronged by the system, and it was supposed to be about how the editors at MSN knowingly put an inappropriate picture of Brooke Shields on their site, one that kids and parents alike visit, and that to me is unacceptable, what is more unacceptable is that advertisers embrace this shit and the content this site produces, and discounts anyone who does less offensive shit, becaue they aren’t a billion dollar company. The world may be corrupt, but I feel better that I got the chance to call these fuckers out on being kiddy porn peddlers that I doubt will get the FBI knocking on their door over….


To see if I have the power to make MSN take down an image, follow this link, if it’s dead, you know they are trying to cover up the fact that they post sexually provocative pictures of 13 year olds….
GO


Posted in:Canada|Kiddy Porn|MSN

2007

08

Nov

I am – UFO Sighting in Canada of the Day

This was just sent into me and I decided to post it, since the last alien I wrote about was Hayden Panettiere and figure it’d be nice to switch it up. So this exciting video is of a UFO sighting in Canada and all I can do is laugh at the dude’s funny accent. I am pretty desensitized to all this paranormal shit, because I don’t give a fuck whether ghosts or alien exists and there’s all kinds of documented sightings from weird people who I wouldn’t trust baby sitting my kids and I don’t even have kids, so that’s how weird the fuckers are. It’s like whenever I tell dudes who have sisters that if I had a sister I’d totally get down with them all through my teens and that they wasted prime opportunity of having them sneak into their room at night,. They always get disgusted, but to me she’s just another chick that’s more accessible since you live in the same house an it’s not like she’s going to tell anyone because society is totally against that kind of hookin’ up, but if she does, they’ll be taking you away.

Either way, if we exist, then the chances of aliens exist are pretty fucking high based on common sense. To say that God put us on this earth to do our thing and is going to blow us up because we are sinners makes a lot less sense than the concept of Aliens existing, unless God was an alien and this shit is like the science fair project I made in the fifth grade that was on sewage. I basically shat in a box and failed, even though I made that shit myself, unlike the annoying rich girl who made some elaborate hydro-electric dam.

So here’s your UFO Sighting in Canada. Maybe it’s a military test, maybe it’s Paris Hilton coming back from the future like Marty Mcfly since she is getting cryogenically frozen and by the time they figure out how to defrost a herpes ridden whore, they’ll probably have invented a time machine that they probably didn’t use too often, because otherwise they’d know what the fuck they were getting themselves into and they’d keep the bitch on ice and maybe it’s actually aliens but I just think it’s a bunch of inuits having a good time eating a raw seal and huffin’ some gasoline.

Posted in:Aliens|Canada|UFO|Unsorted