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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2015

03

Sep

Candice Swanepoel Trying to be Hot for Social Media of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel bores me…

I don’t know why she’s suddenly scrambling on social media to get noticed. Maybe Victoria’s Secret gave her notice that they won’t be renewing her contract and she realized that she’s a one trick pony and that the world on sees her as one of their imported models…who only does Victoria’s Secret campaigns and without Victoria’s Secret she’s nothing….

Because unlike all the other old, washed up, Victoria’s Secret girls, who are still hot, this one has nothing really exciting going on for her, and hasn’t done anything that exciting…

The only press or scandal she’s ever had was getitng engaged to her long time boyfriend…fuck off…

So now she’s pushing these lingerie pics out there…in a “Look at Me, I’m here”….but she’s gotta do the Miranda Kerr and marry into hollywood then fuck bieber, or the shit the other girls are doing like hanging out with Taylor Swift, or even do the Heidi Klum and throw a quirky Halloween party so people know you’re weird…and not just because you fuck, marry, reproduce with a massive black man with a voice of an angel…

What I’m saying is that even with THESE VINTAGE NUDES and her RECENT ONES FOR LUI …she’s dull…as fuck…

So here are some safe, hot body, boring, pics of her body….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Candice Swanepoel’s Topless in 2009 in a #TBT on a Wednesday of the Day

Candice Swanepoel, Self assignment, April 17, 2009

#TBT on a Wednesday…because I’m so contemporary and elitist like a true old school hipster that I guess I’d prefer being called punk rock, even though I am so anti-establishment that I don’t participate in activities the general public has embraced and adopted, or slot myself into categories, you know, anti-establishment, anti-#ThrowbackThursday….anti-people, anarchy…

That said, Candice Swanepoel, one of the most dull yet hot bodies, zero personality, Victoria’s Secret model…was a little fun in 2009 where she got topless…in a shoot..

Not unlike her recent shoot for LUI MAGAZINE HERE But 6 years younger is always better on a 30 year old, end of her career model…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

26

Aug

Candice Swanepoel Naked for LUI Magazine of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is a substantially boring model…yes, she looks good, has an amazing body, but she’s lazy in her career…she doesn’t make noise, she doesn’t make moves, she just does these shoots with very little personality…looking like some kind of robot or sex doll which is something that may be hot to some of you who hate women and everything they have to say…but I like a bit of flavor..

I don’t care if her body is tight, tens of thousands of girls are tight bodied….

I do think this move to get naked in a popular men’s magazine in France, that might as well be Playboy and that has produced some great nude shoots of models, is a start…headed in the right direction in this tail end of her career because I am sure she’s trying to scramble to hold onto the fame she’s managed to get from Victoria’s Secret…and if it involves naked…that’s solid enough for me….maybe there is more to Candice than just some South African rich white person riding the wave…

These are just preview pics…the rest will happen probably in the next 24 hours…stay tuned..

As expected, even when naked, she’s dull…

Joan Small was there too – I don’t feel like doing another post for her – so here are some pics…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Candice Swanepoel Naked and Engaged of the DAy

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Candice Swanepoel is apparently engaged to her longterm boyfriend and no one actually cares because Candice Swanepoel doesn’t matter..

She’ sold and tired looking now, her body still great, but her entire career she’s been uninteresting, uneventful and a total waste of talent and opportunity…

Victoria’s Secret took her Rich South African ass and gave it a platform to be scandalous or even fun, and instead they got some bitch who should work in administration, and not the good kind of administration, like administering enemas and objects in her ass…but rather the socially awkward kind that in a pre-internet era would have been in a mail room filing letters…

She sucks, her engagement doesn’t matter, but her naked selfie on instagram is interesting enough to post and I guess hEre she is for Victoria’s Secret’s recent catalog…that is cheesy as fuck and the same as it was many many years ago..which I guess is pretty representative of Swanepoel…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

06

Aug

Candice Swanepoel’s Polaroids of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is at the tail end of her career. Victoria’s Secret has already lined up 10 of her replacements. She’s old, she looks tired, her body is less impressive than it once was. Her racist, South African, Blood diamond, slave running, racist farm owning, still fucking hot, but pretty fucking boring, modeling that has been pretty limited to Victoria’s Secret….she’s been overused, over exposed, she’s played out and expired…and in doing this, hasn’t really been a media attention whore, or even a personality, or anything but a living, at least we assume living, mannequin used by the brand to sell garbage product…

So before she bows out, her legacy will be forgotten, her work unmemorable, a future bleak but well funded due to her smart investments, she’s managed to take some hot polaroids for the brand, because I guess everything she does is for the brand, and the brand is dabbling with being current and hip….by using key photographers…and that’s perfectly reasonable behavior…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

29

Jun

Candice Swanepoel isn’t that Interesting in Clothes of the Day

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In case you were wondering…Candice Swanepoel, Victoria’s Secret model, like pretty much all girls who aren’t fucking disgusting to look at naked, and just a product of Victoria’s Secret SPANX and Padded Bras, you know the kind of girl you drag home from the bar, only to undress her to see what must be a nightmare, hell, scary, the worst….

Is far less interesting when she’s pout wearing clothes, instead of being her half naked self, I guess….

Here she is in 70s mom jeans…looking…boring…because she is….I mean as a South African, shouldn’t she be doing racist shit for blood diamonds…or anything..but this..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

19

Jun

Candice Swanepoel’s Solid Nipples of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel’s nipples were hard.

She’s an immigrant lingerie model from South Africa…with a pussy full of blood diamonds…who we’ve seen naked before…making hard nipples hardly a story…

But I’m old and from a generation where hard nipples weren’t an everyday thing, and when they happened, you’d get excited enough to jerk off to the memory of the hard nipples you saw…it was that easy…

So this is for those over 35 year olds…while the under 30s aren’t on the internet, they’re too busy snapchatting..and posting instagram pics.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

17

Jun

Candice Swanepoel for Instagram of the Day

I don’t know why I thought this Candice Swanepoel instagram video was interesting, but more importantly I don’t know why she found it interesting enough to post, but we can assume it was handled by her programmers at Victoria’s Secret who pretty much control her every move, it’s part of her deal when they imported her from South Africa….

I do know that some of her pics for instagram….are borderline pornographic..I mean…since we’ve established everything can be made to be pornographic if masturbated to it enough…some things, like nude and half nude models are easier than things like girls in the park picking up dog shit…it’s a spectrum, like homosexuality….

Here is some Victoria’s Secret nonsense…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

03

Jun

Candice Swanepoel Nipple Outtakes of the DAy

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These are probably the hottest pictures that Candice Swanepoel has ever been a part of…shot by Elle Macpherson’s ex husband who has been creating smutty fashion porn with bikini models for decades…making it far more interesting that the shit instagram models are putting out there because she’s a real model, but she’s hardly that interesting…since this is the most interesting thing she’s done…what I am saying is I want more scandal, but I’ll take wet t-shirts.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|NSFW

2015

25

May

Candice Swanepoel for Instagram of the Day

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Here are some Candice Swanepoel pictures from her instagram for those of you who don’t follow her on instagram because you realize that social media is a ridiculous way to live and document your life…like you were some kind of Truman Show motherfucker without realizing you’re less interesting and no one fucking cares what you are doing but they think they do…since that’s how they’ve been conditioned…

I mean, she’s a bikini and lingerie model…these pics are probably from one of her catlog shoots, and the only one I really dig is the close up crotch shot…because at least it’s something edgier in this tame and boring era of vapid existence…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

21

May

Candice Swanepoel in Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is in an Aviation themed shoot for Harpers and she’s wearing too much clothes for someone who was imported from evil South Africa….and who only exists because of racism and the 800 black men who died on her farm for blood diamonds or some shit…

Now South African women are often times hot…despite being potentially horrible racists…and here she is in a Magazine…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

27

Apr

Candice Swanepoel is a Mermaid in a Thong of the Day

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This is the kind of creepy as fuck selfie I can support, endorse and love, and not just because it is of a Victoria’s Secret model who they imported from South Africa…despite already being rich in South Africa…thanks to being white…

I figure Candice Swanepoel is amazing…on so many levels and she’s famous on so many levels at least as far as a model is concerned…because Victoria’s Secret pushed her brandname out there…but she’s barely made that much noise…she’s just hot as fuck…

So seeing her in this selfie of champions…with a sneaky little ass flash in the mirror behind her…like those weirdos who used to post EBAY listing with nude people in the reflection…you know subtle erotica that’s really not all the subtle when you look at the pic…but that is in black and white so that it is selfie art…

I don’t know..she’s getting old, over exposed, even boring and uninteresting…she hasn’t really blown me or anyone away…probably because she’s had the same boyfriend throughout her career…but she’s still a serious fucking babe…and here’s some video of her swimming like a mermaid to cum to.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

17

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Cheats on Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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Here she is for Paola & Murray Swimwwear…because I guess Victoria’s Secret is licensing her out…seeing as she is property of theirs as they made her….

I mean we don’t even know if she’s human or from a lab…because she’s pretty much perfect enough to not be fucking human…even in her old model age…which is a funny concept..because she’s probably barely 30…yet almost done.

At least she cashed the fuck in when she had the chance, not that she needed to, her family are South Africa blood diamond farmers…this is just more of a Gigi Hadid level of “I did it on my own” vanity…and I’m glad it happened…because not enough girls in the world look like Candice Swanepoel…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

10

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Osmoze of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is a model….this is her modeling…for a company that isn’t Victoria’s Secret, because I guess they let her out of her cage every once in a while, but maybe this is a company the Victoria’s Secret people own part of, and they figure why not take the white girl they found eating out of Garbage before Nelson Mandela saved her and gave her to America…for promo modeling….because she’s hot..

So thank Nelson Mandela for saving the rich white people from South Africa from a life of underpaying and mistreating the black natives…without apartheid there would be no Swanepoel…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

04

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I think the most exciting thing about Candice Swanepoel is that she only gets paid 100,000 dollars from Victoria’s Secret. It’s like here you all were thinking she was all rich and famous thanks to Victoria’s Secret, and bitch isn’t even making a million dollars a year…she’s just thrown into the good life because of her celebrity, but can’t actually afford the good life, leading to being forced to date a billionaire who can afford her….

I mean, that and how good she looks in a bathing suit, that is part of Victoria’s Secret new push, the premise of their new infomercial on primetime TV, the whole go after Sports Illustrated and win attitude…that makes all you losers who watch this shit winners too, because instead of watching whatever shitty show you watch, you’ll get to see girls in a bikini, something that probably doesn’t happen in your shitty trailer park too often…right…

Here are other pics from their SWIM catalog:

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel