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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2015

04

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I think the most exciting thing about Candice Swanepoel is that she only gets paid 100,000 dollars from Victoria’s Secret. It’s like here you all were thinking she was all rich and famous thanks to Victoria’s Secret, and bitch isn’t even making a million dollars a year…she’s just thrown into the good life because of her celebrity, but can’t actually afford the good life, leading to being forced to date a billionaire who can afford her….

I mean, that and how good she looks in a bathing suit, that is part of Victoria’s Secret new push, the premise of their new infomercial on primetime TV, the whole go after Sports Illustrated and win attitude…that makes all you losers who watch this shit winners too, because instead of watching whatever shitty show you watch, you’ll get to see girls in a bikini, something that probably doesn’t happen in your shitty trailer park too often…right…

Here are other pics from their SWIM catalog:

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

02

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Gilles Bensimon of the Day

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I don’t expect you to know who Gilles Bensimon is, but he is one of the more legendary fashion photographers, who I guess peaked in the 80s, when he was the creative director for Elle magazine…

He was married to people like Elle Macpherson, who is one of my favorites, and less interestingly, Kelly Bensimon, who got knocked up by him and who allowed her to go onto the exciting legacy of The Real Desperate Housewives of New York…

All this to say, he shot Candice Swanepoel, wet, in panties, looking amazing, because she is amazing…if fact she’s probably the best thing Victoria’s Secret has ever done…and I guess being a photographer since the 60s…shooting every fucking babe ever….makes you pretty capable of this kind of amazing..

But then again he only has 22,000 follower on instagram…that’s like nothing compared to all the photographers on instagram pushing millions of followers for their shitty, obvious, bottom feeding pictures…making me wonder if he really matters….or can even call himself a photographer…right?

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

16

Feb

Candice Swanepoel’s in Some Magazine of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel did Self Magazine…who cares…she’s a model…that is what she does…here are the pics..

She Also Did a Hot Shoot for Maxim, even though I fucking hate Maxim and they try to sue me all the fucking time, even though they used to pay me to link them – because they are assholes….To see those pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

06

Feb

Some Victoria’s Secret Because It is Valentine’s Day of the Day

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Here’s some Victoria’s Secret catalog shit…because Victoria’s Secret doesn’t pay me shit, they just put models in bikinis, and I jump to give them free promotion, like a dancing fucking monkey who works for the fucking Banana at the end of the show….

I mean hot girls, in lingerie…worth looking at…but ultimately…it’s not sucking your dick, ass and balls…so who fucking gives a fuck about them and their billion dollar a year manipulation…oh right…you do..

Its their most lucrative time of the year….so they are promoting aggressively…

TO SEE PICS OF THEM AT SOME EVENT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

04

Feb

Candice Swanepoel in Catalog Lingerie of the DAy

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Candice Swanepoel posted a couple of hot pics to her social media, I like them because she’s hot, and it reminds me that if you have enough money you can own people, because this is probably mandated as part of her Victoria’s Secret contract, because they know how many girls would work for them for free, and that they made Candice the hot commodity that she is, and that she owes them, so much that they essentially take advantage of her….

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Here’s a Victoria’s Secret Gallery for Valentine’s Day….and this is their second busiest time of the year…where they hit up all the men who can’t put any real thought or creative into their gifts for their low expectation, mall shopping girls…who would rather they save their extra money for a trip to Vegas or Disney World…I mean they’ve been waiting their whole life for it, but could never muster up the 500 dollars it costs to fly and stay in Vegas for a weekend….even though I can come up with 500 dollars and I am a broken drunk…that’s just poor financial planning on your end…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

28

Jan

Candice Swanepoel’s Denim Campaign of the DAy

Candice Swanepoel has released a line of denim that I think she may or may not be the designer for….something that requires very little effort because the design intern who actually went to fashion school does all the work…Candice just has to try them on, endorse them, think she gave the OK on the design, and feel like she got a validated career, other than just being a set of tits in panties for an Evil Corporation, not nearly as evil as the Whites in South Africa she belongs to!

Side note, I like her narcissistic t-shirt…it’s very now…since everyone loves their vapid little selves thanks to social media.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

16

Jan

Candice Swanepoel’s Behind the Scenes Shoot of the Day

Candice Swanepoel makes me laugh…

not because I spoke about her to a South African last night, saying that her family had slaves, only for a defensive white South African to say “We don’t have slaves and haven’t since the 1790s”…to which I said…well her farm hands are all black and you can assume they aren’t being paid well…which to me is slavery…to which she said “if you pay someone enough to buy some food and provide them transport to their aids ridden tribal village, it isn’t slavery…slavery is when you own them”….

not because she from a High AIds Rate country…

But because she’s a nude and topless model, yet she’s so private while changing on set as to not show the paparazzi her tits…..even though we’ve all seen her tits…and they are just TITS….tits….


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

14

Jan

Candice and Doutzem Kroes for Manic Magazine of the Day

I don’t know anything about Manic Magazine, but I think it is safe to say that their editorial team, or their creative director, or whoever the fuck works at the magazine coordinating shoots, has done a great job scanning pics from random Victoria’s Secret Catalogs…I mean unless they actually had access to Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel and decided that they’ll uses them exactly how they are always used, even though they are willing to do so much more…in which case…is a total fucking fail…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Doutzen Kroes

2015

13

Jan

Candice Swanepoel Instagram Video of the Day

@victoriassecret #swim2015 #ownthebeach by @lukelanter #hawaii #blackbeach #hana

A video posted by Candice Swanepoel (@angelcandices) on

Candice Swanepoel did a video…in a bikini….because that is her job….and it was as magical as can be…if you find a tall, skinny bikini model, doing her bikini modeling job, magical…and I am sure Candice Swanepoel finds it magical, but it was just a few decades ago, she was just a farmers daughter looking over her South African slaves…


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

08

Jan

Candice Swanepoel Does Marilyn Monroe of the DAy

South African, owned by Victoria’s Secret model, like on of the slaves on her farm back home, Candice Swanepoel, got done up as Marilyn Monoroe, and it is not even Halloween….making the whole thing creepy as fuck, because anytime I dress like a dead woman and it is not Halloween, people find it fucking weird…and I feel the same scrutiny should be applied to this import models…who I prefer when they are half naked…because that’s the whole reason they exist…or should be…because of the way they are built…

But you Marilyn Monroe weirdo fans, who like her so much that they would dig her up and jerk off on her remains, probably like this kind of thing, or anything the resembles Marilyn Monroe, even though she’s been dead 100 years…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

06

Jan

Candice Swanepoel for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

Candice Swanepoel – Victoria’s Secret is boring as fuck, none of these shoots are really inspiring, and none of their lingerie really gives me boners, but maybe I am just desensitized, or maybe it is my impotence, or maybe it is that my fat wife looks like some kind circus freak but Candice Swanepoel is worth looking at.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

18

Dec

Candice Swanepoel BTS Holiday Costume of the Day

Nothing says Christmas like a South African slave driver / farmer’s daughter wearing a Santa Outfit for an evil corporation that owns her and uses her to push shitty made, shitty styled, shitty product for fat chicks from the midwest who love malls, discount panties they feel they are buying into a lifestyle and upping their sex appeal with, at an affordable price…all because everyone in their trailer park watched the fashion show the other night…and the general public love tacky, shitty things…peddled by Jewish billionaires via exploited Chinese factory workers….

It’s a Christmas Miracal…and here’s Santa Candice Swanepoel….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

21

Nov

Karlie Kloss and Candice Swanepoel Boring BTS of the Day

I guess in preparation of the Victoria’s Secret Infomercial America is already excited about watching, because I guess they don’t have access to internet porn, or really anything hotter than a bunch of model walking the runway in family friendly, because it is primetime, bikinis….a television event we can all agree is a fucking scam that no one should be excited about….unless you live in a fucking Trailer park and Network TV, and Malls is all you fucking know, Karlie Kloss and Candice Swanepoel were commissioned to release some Behind the Scenes pics, because that’s what their contracts stipulate, and without Victoria’s Secret, Karlie wouldn’t be scissoring Taylor Swift, and Candice would be dying of AIDS back home in South Africa, if she survived being shot by her legless boyfriend…the pics suck, but she’s wet…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Karlie Kloss

2014

17

Nov

Candice Swanepoel’s Victoria’s Secret Fitting of the Day


In case you didn’t know, it’s almost time for the most watched pre-recorded televised primetime infomerical that pretends to be an actual event of the year….the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show…something you’d think would be obsolete thanks to internet porn, but where basic people, I’m talking suburbanites in lower middle class households, with low expectations, that are easily met, who are brainwashed by the media and who can’t turn their backs on the products available at their local mall or the spokesmodels hired to promote the sweatshop made shit…you know that will be under every tree this year….

And part of the pre-marketing efforts are getting pics of Candice Swanepoel trying on the lingerie to go viral…and with a body like Candice Swanepoel, she could be marketing actual shit, not just shitty panties, and I’d still be into it…because I am a pervert like that and so are you!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

11

Nov

Candice and Behati do Victoria’s Secret Photoshoots of the Day

Candice Swanepoel and Behati Prinsloo are on the beach, because they are doing the VS Fashion show and it is prime time to get the girls in the paparazzi they pay, wearing bikinis, when they are at their fittest because they’ve been on a program to get as fit as possible pre-VS show…as no one, especially VS likes fat girls posing in their bikinis, despite the fact that 98 percent of their clients are fat girls wearing bikinis to be as sexy as the skinny girls they hire to pose in said bikinis…and I guess bikinis is good enough for me to post, even knowing one of the bikinis smells of Adam Levine’s seed..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo|Candice Swanepoel