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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2013

22

Nov

Candice Swanepoel Hot and Naked for i-D Winter of the Day

This is hands down the best shoot I’ve seen of Candice Swanepoel in a long time…she looks like a typical instagram whore and not like her top model self…and she’s doing it fucking naked…with skateboards and chucks…and Mickey Mouse props on some hipster kick…

I mean…is there more to this model than being a Victoria’s Secret robot in shitty, cheap, over-priced, heavily marketed, evil empire lingerie…that is hardly lingerie…could there be a down ass bitch behind all the million dollar contracts…I mean could Candice Swanepoel be as dope as her ass…or is this just representative that nothing is underground, everything is mainstream…

You know, there was a time, when annoying hipster club kids would go to parties high on MDMA when it was called E and not Molly….wearing mouse ears and Mickey gloves…and it was annoying then…when getting drunk and angry next to them….but when top models with hot bodies do it…it’s magical…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

18

Nov

Candice Swanepoel and Martha Hunt in Possibly the Best Shoot Ever of the DAy

Here are Candice Swanepoel and Martha Hunt, two glorious models with amazing bodies who normally work for Victoria’s Secret because they are that good at being half naked, cuz even if Victoria’s Secret is a fucking scam, the girls the pull are pretty fucking good….and even better when modelling the way their immigrant tits were supposed to…and that’s naked or half naked…or more naked than photoshopped bras and bikinis…we’re used to seeing them in…

Now I think Candice is almost fucking perfect…making this the highlight of my otherwise depressing horrible day…and it’s not even really a highlight but more of a depressing reminder that my wife is an obese pig and more importantly, that Candice isn’t the girl who’s face I spit on when I fuck…

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Martha Hunt|NSFW

2013

31

Oct

Candice Swanepoel’s Nipple on the Runway of the Day

Candice Swanepoel showed nipple on the Runway in Brazil during fashion week..because she’s a fashion model…not just a puppet created and used by Victoria’s Secret even though everything she’s ever done has been for Victoria’s Secret…making me think this is either her doing something for Victoria’s Secret, like a stunt to get in the media…or maybe for a company owned by VS, because otherwise it just doesn’t make sense…but what does make sense is the nipple, as everyone knows you can’t have fashion without nipple…it’s all part of the industry…at least the only part of the industry I feel not gay knowing about…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|NSFW

2013

25

Oct

Candice Swanepoel’s Awesome Instagram Pic of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted this Victoria’s Secret fitness picture on her social media, and I totally approve of this type of behavior, even if it is being trickled down to us from an evil corporation, because sometimes evil corporations figure out just how easy it is to trick us into looking at pics of their products by sneaking them on babes and making them semi pornographic, at least to someone like me who loves booty in tight pants, because it is hot….and really to the right person, everything and anything can be pornographic…there are enough freaks out there to get off to the weirdest shit…that this is up on some real subtle goodness I would like to bury my face into…if only it didn’t taste like a computer screen….and whatever I spilled on it last night..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2013

18

Oct

Candice Swanepoel for the Fantasy Bra of the Day

Here is a video of a girl finally reaching her hot body dreams…of being the chosen one within the insular company that created her and made her into whatever it is that her hot body is…you know it’s like getting that promotion at your shitty warehouse job where everyone around you, even yourself if you were not in that shitty job, would not normally give a shit about something as stupid, or as much of a waste of resources than a multi-million dollar bra…but when you’re in it, all competing with other girls for the stupid title, you lose track of how stupid the whole thing is, and think how much of an honor, or how beautiful the craftsmanship is on this very expensive garbage…but I guess when a company takes you from farm girl to millionaire model…you’ve got no choice but to love them, drink their Koolaid, because without them, you don’t exist….and what it comes down to is that she’s got a great accent…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

17

Oct

Candice Swanepoel is Wearing the “Fantasy Bra” This Year of the Day

Candice Swanepoel, a body created by Victoria’s Secret, has finally earned her wings as a deserving model who has paid her dues and proved her loyalty to the brand, as she’s climbed the ranks of the spokesmodel game, from hot bodied farmer imported from South Africa, a story I think is bullshit, because I am convinced she was created in some kind of factory because it’s cheaper to invest 100,000,000 dollar in robot technology than it is in paying 100,000,000 dollars to these ungrateful divas.…

She is the one wearing the “Fantasy Bra” this year….in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show that is more of an infomercial designed to sell product in the Holiday season, because they have everyone fooled by throwing hot bodies in our faces…while tricking us to buy overpriced made in china rags….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

11

Oct

Candice Swanepoel in Some Topless Video of the Day

Candice Swanepoel did a video for YOUTUBE where she didn’t show her nipples…but did show her awesome fit body..and I didn’t bother watching it because pornography or anything worth masturbating to should be a little less black and white and a lot more spread eagled…I’m so traditional in my thinking like that.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

09

Oct

Candice Swanepoel Instagram Erotica of the Day

A few weeks ago…I said that I was tired of Candice Swanepoel…that her amazing Victoria’s Secret body was boring, and repetitive, and that she was old and over exposed…that Victoria’s Secret shoved her down our throats too many times…and that I was done with her and ready to move my obsessive compulsive disorder onto new models…but then today, I went to her instagram…and I learned to love again, she’s so solid…that her body should be what all girls look like…you know the mainstream average measurements…instead of all the genetically modified shit you see every time you leave your house…it would be a far better world to live in….

Here’s another video….

She is amazing…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2013

30

Sep

Candice Swanepoel Hot Body for Agua Bendita of the Day

Looks like Victoria’s Secret either has a majority stack in Agua Bendita, or Candice Swanepoel has been traded to the competition, something they’d never do, at least not now, after investing millions in making her a star and she’s still got so more use out of her hot little model body, that is probably very big and sturdy, and was handy on the South African farm she was raised on, but in pictures shit’s just taint and proportional and fucking lovely…they are going to wait until she’s old and retired, broken down with stretch marks so thick and deep they can’t be photoshopped out, and a vagina so broken from all the kids, that it looks like she’s got huge balls…I mean they are milking this pony until she’s barely able to walk from all the arthritis her bikini modelling has given her, since we all know it’s such hard work to sit around half naked for a few hours as photographers take pics and handlers serve you drinks and food and anything you fucking want…what a joke…

I’ve actually lost interest in Candice, I was all about her last year, but I guess like anything that involves not have sex with her, it gets old faster than she gets old…I am sure she’s sad that I’ve broken up with her in my crazy little mind…a pain all the girls who I break up with that I’ve met must feel..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

19

Sep

Candice Swanepoel’s Naked With a Skateboard of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posing topless with a skateboard is the shit that dreams could be made of if you are less into nipples and more into skateboards…like some closet case 16 year old kid who skateboards and is told that Candice Swanepoel is a babe, making it the kind of thing he prints up and puts in his locker, which could make it more pornographic to you, because you’re a fucking pedophile, here’s your bait…

That said, I am actually over and done with this Swanepoel character, I was all about her for a while, but I’ve seen too much of her, she’s boring, uninteresting, doesn’t get in scandals, is still hot but owned by an evil company, and they don’t even get her naked…when she’ll do anything for them, like some kind of groupie robot on call because she needs them and owes them everything…yet is still so fucking boring…but I’ll post the pic anyway, cuz my inner 16 year old who was into skateboarding, finds it kinda hot…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

11

Sep

Candice Swanepoel for Agua Bendita of the Day

I would say that Candice Swanepoel is cheating on her manufacturers over at Victoria’s Secret, you know the team of scientists who made her and pretended they found her off some beaten path in South Africa, amongst the blood diamonds and AIDS Rate…with this company called Agua Bendita, who make bathing suits….but I am going to assume that she is owned and operated by the team at Victoria’s Secret and that they have far too much money invested in her to allow some other obscure brand to use her, unless of course, that obscure brand is just another one of their product lines to really monopoly on the fabric on pussy, whether underwear or bathing suit, global market….

That said, the pictures are boring, she should be fisting herself, if they even made her with a vagina, and I don’t think they did, because vaginas call for too much time spent in post production retouching the camel toe out, but it would keep things interesting, and she come across as eager, because at this rate, all her pics are the same and she’s just got old, tired and lazy…but the good news is…her body hasn’t…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

30

Aug

Candice Swanepoel for Vogue Mexico of the Day

Victoria’s Secret prize hen Candice Swanepoel has ventured into other magazines like Vogue Mexico, because she’s a little slut who needs to fuck other dick to feel validated cuz the dick that pays for her food and shelter is repetitive and not making her feel special enough…and it turns out she’s capable of boring as fuck photoshoots…because this shit right here isn’t giving boners….

BORING.

Here’s the video…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

22

Aug

Candice Swanepoel for Brasil Fashion’s Night Out of the Day

Candice Swanepoel who is not Brazilian, was cast to promote Brasil’s Fashion Night out for their Fashion week…because I guess Brazilians are done with their own models, they send them up here, and take bikini models, make them stand by the pool, not in bikinis…just to be different…kinda like how their hottest prostitutes usually come stock with cock…you know why make things as good as they possibly can be when you can shit on their entire being….

Brazilians don’t have it all figured out…but they do have great asses, and so does Candice who is not Brazilian, but still worth looking out.

I know, this post is life changing. Deal with it. I am still drunk.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

14

Aug

Candice Swanepoel & Edita Vilkeviciute Hot for Allure of the Day

Candice Swanepoel & Edita Vilkeviciute are such lesbians…at least for the sake of a fashion shoot for a fashion magazine…trying to be all controversial in a world that has lost any filter they may have had…

I can deal with this kind of lesbian. The whole hot bitches just touching each other kind of lesbian…it’s all gentle and feminine, even though I know it doesn’t actually exist, because all lesbians I know are built like dudes, yet hate dudes, cuz I guess they have penis envy, and with penis envy comes a hatred of anything with a bigger dick than they have…I mean either that or Lesbians just hate everything I represent, which I guess would make sense, since lesbians are always angry…at everything…even each other and just never quite satisfied…thanks to never having a dick inside them…but often times having really realistic dicks inside them…because they are on the fence with the whole lesbian thing, but have to stay committed to it…otherwise they’ll look like phoney lesbians…

The whole thing is so complicated, but these Candice and her Homie Pics aren’t…they are amazing…enough…next time more labia…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Edita Vilkeviciute

2013

25

Jul

Candice Swanepoel for Vogue Russia of the Day

I’ve lost interest in Candice Swanepoel. I don’t know why, but I am going to assume it’s over exposure. I also hate the brand she is owned by and everything they represent, in their evil sweatshop manufacturing, overpriced garbage, that they sell to middle America way.

Sure they book hot bitches to pose in the shit, but everything they shoot is so fucking boring, they photoshop out nipples, and they are the fucking McDonalds quality of photoshoots, you know manufactured, robotic, and garbage…and I don’t care how many big macs a motherfucker eats, I’m not touching that plastic shit.

If you know what I mean…

And my hatred for Victoria’s Secret, spills over into all the other work their bitches do, because I know they sold their soul to the devil, and I get that it’s about making money and getting as huge as possible, but I prefer my hot bitches a little less desperate to be at the top…and a lot more desperate to get to the top they have no chance of attaining but that they’ll suck my dick for me to post about them as part of their efforts…if you know what I mean…

This Candice bitch is done, over, and sure she has a great body, there’s very little in it for me, especially when she’s not getting naked and let’s face it…this life that I’m living is all about me…and this twat serves no purpose in it unless she’s showing nipple. Bye bye.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel