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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2013

21

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Vogue Spain of the Day

Candice Swanepoel…..I mean…she’s fuckin aswesome. She’s got this fucking body that blows my fucking mind. Thin, fit and despite being statistically at risk for HIV thanks to South Africa statistics, I want to taste her without a condom, not that I’d ever use a condom, that shit just gets in the way of all the gynecological exams I give with my penis…

Either way, she’s showing off her body, pretty clothed, but still looking good for Vogue Spain,


To See The Video That I Couldn’t Figure Out How To Embed
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Here are some shitty screen caps and the actual pics all mixed together

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

13

Mar

Candice, Karlie and Alessandra are Together in Bikinis of the Day

Those who model underwear and bikinis together…stay together…because they are paid too much to really relate to other people…but more importantly…they make up an exclusive secret society…that is corporately owned….up on some stepford wife shit…where these robots that are awesome to look at…go where they are told…either solo or as a group….in efforts to take over whatever room and peddle cheap, ill-fitting, padded bras on the unsuspecting lower-middle class suburban woman hoping she’ll look as good as these girls….and as good as they look, posing their typical pose…these girls are tall as fuck, and should start up a basketball or volleyball team….that I’d like to coach and by coach I mean masturbate in the corner while they are warming up…cuz robots or not, they are total babes…

Here’s the video:


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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Candice Swanepoel|Karlie Kloss

2013

12

Mar

Candice Swanepoel’s Topless for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

Today has been very Candice Swanepoel heavy….but the reality is that life is Candice Swanepoel heavy…because the people at Victoria’s Secret have implanted her in my brain…with all the muscle they’ve put behind her…making me follow her on Instagram and other social media like she matters or like she has more to offer the world than a rockin’ body…which as it turns out doesn’t need to offer the world anything more than a rockin’ body…cuz a rockin’ body…is all it takes to matter in this superficial world….

I am brainwashed by the billion dollar empire….and so are you….and I don’t even mind…as long as they keep pumping these Candice pics down my throat…hard enough…that I can taste her…


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

12

Mar

Candice Swanepoel – Thanks for This Workout Pic – of the Day

I love fit girls…..whether they are supermodels or not…I just think girls who take care of themselves are fucking babes….whether they are thick and muscular or just fucking perfect like this….you know that whole lean and lovely in tight pants with a brazilian butt from brazilian butt lifts…..or whatever the trendy workout is….

Fit girls are the reason I’ve been banned from at least 4-5 gyms for either trying to hide in the lockeroom – or attending fitness classes fully clothed for masturbation purposes….uninvited…to waiting outside to watch the babes leave the class for a little too long….even though most girls in the gym I see aren’t fit…but are fat trying to be fit…but in those outfits…all spandex and sprots bra it’s good enough for me…..

Especially when it looks like this….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

12

Mar

Victoria’s Secret March Mega Post of the Day

The same gang of rejects…and by rejects I mean hot fucking babes who are overpaid and likely have egos that reflect their bank accounts…as down to earth as you’d expect a life of luxury and being sucked up to to be…including but not limited to….

-Erin Heatherton
-Karlie Kloss
-Magdelena Frackowiak
-Candice Swanepoel
-Cameron Russell
-Behati Prinsloo….

In the catalog we all used to jerk off to before the internet…cuz I guess hicks still like to do mail order like it was 1992 more than they like to online shop..

Who cares…cuz that way the half naked pics keep on comin’….even if they are boring…

Here’s pretty much their entire catalog…cuz I have nothing better to do with my time than to download and re-upload this shit…unfortunately…

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo|Cameron Russell|Candice Swanepoel|Erin Heatherton|Karlie Kloss|Madelena Frackowiak|Victoria's Secret

2013

08

Mar

Candice Swanepoel in Lingerie Pics We’ve Probably Already Seen Before of the Day

Victoria’s Secret pics are like sex with your wife…or long term girlfriend…who you aren’t even really attracted to anymore…not because they aren’t decent looking….but because they have been drained of all excitement and sex appeal over the years of seeing them at their worst….from shitting…to being the same ass you fuck day after day…when all you really want to do is fuck new pussy…but feel torn because you’re not an asshole who would go behind your trusting girl’s back…but shit…you’d love new pussy…even if it wasn’t as hot….just the fact that it was new makes it hot….

You know…the familiar, comfortable, predictable, feels like home kinda pussy you don’t really appreciate as much as you should, but know that you don’t want to lose it….

Because these Victoria’s Secret pics are the fucking same as always..which makes them boring as shit….but the girls in them are hot enough….to make us want to look at them…even if we know what to fucking expect…and even if they don’t give us boners like they did when we were 15 in catalog form before the internet…

It’s familiar….comfortable…predictable…boring…like white people, they all look the same….but shit…this Candice bitch…is pretty spectacular in any setting….

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

06

Mar

Candice Swanepoel’s Instagram Upsets Me of the Day

I mean this is just asshole behavior on Candice Swanepoel’s part…she’s covering up the goods on both her and a massive picture of herself that I assume she carries around with herself everywhere she goes…cuz models are paid to look good and in that are really self conscious cunts about the whole thing….often times vain when they look at their bank accounts and when the photographers constantly give them attention while shooting them….for the fans to give them attention too…

It’s like come on girl…how many Candice Swanepoel nipples can be covered up in one single picture before I hate you….

Apparently 2 on the low end, 4 on the high end…..

But I can’t actually hate you, that would get in the way of my loving you….

Here are some of her instagram pics…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

05

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Giving Boners in Romantic Pictures of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted this half naked picture of her in St Barts against the sunset in what would make for a good final shot in a movie…or even a post card…all romantic and artistic and boring….cuz all I really want to see is her in some better light….naked or half naked….modeling the way she’s paid millions to fucking model…

This shadow cast on her body in all it’s suggestive beauty takes away from what matters and that’s seeing her fucking body…mainly her vagina definition….I don’t need to see an outline of her….I mean she’s out there for Victoria’s Secret…now show me the low quality panties people pay too much for….and not this nonsense….photo school drop out crap….

I don’t know how they do it in South Africa….I mean other than legless men in the Olympics Killing models…but in America…we like are Selfies far more slutty….

Step it up…and stomp the yard bro. She can do better.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

12

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Modeling with Fast Cars of the Day

Candice Swanepoel is a magical experience….she doesn’t need fast cars to make her worth lookin at….like some low level import model….but she’s doing it anyway…and I like to think that’s a sign of her thinking she’s inadequate and at that car show level…when she’s definitely not…but I know that’s not the case…and that getting her to my “studio” to do some “artistic nudes” like I do with so many girls seeking fame….would never happen…but we are all allowed to have dreams and this is mine….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel