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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2013

11

Jan

Candice Swanepoel’s Hot Ass for Instagram of the Day

It is hard not to fall in love with Candice Swanepoel….I saw this picture yesterday when she posted them….and it took me 24 fucking hours to get them on the site because I was too busy staring at the amazing ass that is Candice Swanepoel in her bikini for Social Media…but not just any bikini…one that is low cut, or high cut, or whatever the fuck this borderline thong shit is…that so many girls are wearing on the beach these days…making the world a brighter, shinier, more amazing place to live…

I love Candice Swanepoel, and I’ve never met her, but I know that if there is one thing out there I need to consider myself a success..it is to hold her hand….even just for a second…and I never get this way over anything…except maybe pugs…but shit people…do you see this ass…it’s so friendly and inviting, like an old comfy sweater, the hot fit ass version…that I want to slip inside and die…after singing it love poetry I wrote it….starving to death cuz it is all I’ll eat..

Next level performance on her part…it speaks to me at my soul….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

07

Jan

Candice Swanepoel for Victoria’s Secret Swim of the Day


Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect as far as I am concerned and I guess as far as Victoria’s Secret is concerned too…because they’ve turned her into their poster girl…and without them…she’d probably still be a fit model…trying on clothes for old lady dress manufacturers…but instead she’s the tall, lean, hot body…half naked and incredible to look at…with a rockin’ accent who seems like a pretty lovely person…based on my extensive research of looking at her half naked.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

04

Jan

Candice Swanepoel in Jeans for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

Candice Swanepoel may be owned by Victoria’s Secret..you know since they pretty much found her, locked her into a contract, and made her a celebrity….but I think I may be owned by Candice Swanepoel and I have never even met her, even though I know she’s probably 6 foot 10 and freakish as fuck, but in pictures…in pictures she’s gold…South African Gold….which I guess is actually diamonds…or the AIDS virus…..and whatever else they export besides models with awesome accents….

Here she is for Victoria’s Secret.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

31

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Bikini Instagram of the Day

Happy New Year…this sparking wine tastes like piss and is giving me a head ache and I am not sure I’ll make it til midnight but I never really do…cuz I live in Canada and it is the one day I like to stay in…cuz all the assholes are out…cabs are impossible…and really do we need to be celebrating this kind of shit just cuz the media wants us to….

What we should be celebrating is Candice Swanepoel posted some bikinis pics…cuz bitch is at her prime and one of the hottest and fittest in the game and I think…if there is anything worth celebrating this 2012…it is her…and her amazing accent.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

20

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Ass Washer of the Day

I’ll tell you one job better than washing Candice Swanepoel’s ass off before she does a Victoria’s Secret shoot…you know so that the sand in her South African pussy doesn’t ruin the bikinis they are selling….and that’s writing drunkenstepfather.com….true story…just ask anyone who writes drunkenstepfather.com…they’ll tell you the same thing…and that’s only because washing Candice Swanepoel’s ass would get me arrested…she makes me want to do criminal things to that ass…you know…from stabbing it with my tongue in a romantic way…to shooting my load all over it…you know to give her real reason to wash…I’m helpful like that….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

18

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Modeling Lingerie Like It’s Her Job of the Day


Cuz it is her job bro….

I have probably posted these pics before, they all kinda look the same, but that could just be that there is one constant, one commont thread, the incredible Candice Swanepoel, who people try to hate on, but who’s hate just rolls off her pure, innocent, loving curves…..

She’s good at what she does, and I think I may have to have sex with her get her out of my system….but since she doesnt return my calls, emails, faxes, or love songs I mail her….I guess I’ll just jerk off to her half naked body…..it’s easier and more legal than that whole kidnapping strategy I’d have to take to taste this ass.

She’s good.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

17

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s in Bikini of the Day

OH MY GOD CANDICE SWANEPOEL IS MODELING BIKINIS…..SHOCKING BECAUSE THAT’S ALL THIS BITCH DOES…..Seriously, she needs to tattoo Property of Victoria’s Secret on her fucking forhead, asssuming she doesn’t already have that around her asshole, which happens to be where they extendable plug of her robot ass comes out for charging…you see cuz after much investigation, it has been decided, that there is no way this bitch is real…..

Here are the pics – cuz 40 Victoria’s Secret posts today wasn’t enough….it’s Christmas people and we need to brain wash you into shopping there…even they they only pay us in half naked bitch pics and not a portion of their billions.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

17

Dec

Victoria’s Secret Holiday Campaign of the Day

Victoria’s Secret have got me from the fucking balls….they have made their models celebrities…so that everytime one of them tweets some cleavage, I jump like it is news….they have set themselves up that every photoshoot they go on has paparazzi there to cover it….and that every catalog they put out….the pics get released to…all in efforts to make all of us continuously talk about them…and the international pussy they recruit….and everytime I post on these evil corporate assholes…I know exactly what I am doing…I am buying into their strategy like a mindless idiot…but the tits…and the girls…is just too good to ignore…

Here’s their holiday push….

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|Candice Swanepoel|Miranda Kerr

2012

14

Dec

Candice Swanepoel and Maryna Linchuk are Bikini Models of the Day

Candice Swanepoe and Maryna Linchuk are modeling for Victoria’s Secret, because they are both probably owned by Victoria’s Secret, you know third world babes who signed their life away for the dream, and I am okay with that, cuz I dig their tall, fit, half nakedness….and that’s why I follow them on instagram…where I leave comments like

Wow, you should look into becoming a model

Cuz their fans get so angry that I don’t know who they are…when in fact I do know who they are…as I have had sex with both of them…at the same time…in my mind…thanks to these pics they’ve posted to social media….and by “they”…i mean the marketing staff at Victoria’s Secret…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Maryna Linchuk

2012

13

Dec

Candice Swanepoel Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Guess who’s on the beach of St Barts shooting for Victoria’s Secret….Candice Swanepoel…cuz Victoria’s Secret fucking own her…and may have even made her in an African lap somewhere…you know like some kind of billion dollar robot that won’t age and that will never leave them…and investment that helps them make 30 billion dollars a year in sales….which is totally fucking ridiculous if you think about it…that’s like 2 billion pairs of underwear a fucking year….do people really need that many pairs of underwear…..I mean I’m not complaining cuz the evil empire that is Victoria’s Secret has given me this lovely angel to make love to myself / my screen / my MONKEY SPANKER to….which is enough distraction for me to furhter investigate their criminal human traffic robot making practices….


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

11

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Victoria’s Secret Holiday Lingerie of the Day

I ran into an old friend who I guess visits the site every once in a while, because he asked me why the fuck I always post on Candice Swanepoel, and that before my site he had no idea who she was, and that even now that he knows who she is, he doesn’t really get why I bother posting her catalog pics, he finds it weird and a little excessive…to whice I say…this is only my second Candice Swanepoel post today, and if I do 20 posts a day, that’s only 10 percent of my content devoted to her, which is practically nothing, I mean sure, I could have done posts on the countless other twats who ignore me on social media, you know giving this bitch no play at all, but have you seen her half naked body? This shit is legendary….and that’s all the justifying I’m gonna do about Candice Swanepoel posts til the end of time…cuz if I had my way this site would be the offical Candice Swanepoel fan club…you know the kind of site that gets me arrested when I start following her around the world for exclusive content…you know passion that is misunderstood as stalking….

Here are the hot body pics….for the evil Victoria’s Secret corporation….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

11

Dec

Candice Swanepoel Athletic for VSX of the Day

Candice Swanepoel has a fit fucking body….sure her career depends on it…and she’s living large, making easy fucking money, that is in fact stupid money, because of that career that depends on her body….motivating her 20 days off a month to be spent working on her fitness….cuz it’s the best option for her….cuz she, like anyone else, oulda chose cake and candy and fries….working a desk job….like so many potentially hot girls if they weren’t buried in disgusting….and I think we should thank her for taking the right path…cuz a body like this is a glorious thing to stare at and without it…we have nothing…and there’s no point in living…maybe I’m just being dramatic….the HOLIDAYS GET ME EMOTIONAL …..

Here are the pics….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

06

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Ass in a Thong for Instagram of the Day


The highlight of the Victoria’s Secret informercial was not Candice Swanepoel sucking the dick of the corporation for making her matter…pretty much saying she owed her life to them like a scared battered wife…

But it was listening to her talk…cuz that accent just makes her that much better….and trust me that’s saying a lot coming from me…cuz I hate when models talk…it takes away from their whole being half naked modeling where they belong..

She posted this ass shot to instagram…reminding us that her body fucking matters….and she’s better at doing Victoria’s Secret catalog pics than Victoria’s Secret…cuz Victoria’s Secret despite selling thongs…can’t showcase thongs…INSANE but not as insane as how good this is…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

04

Dec

Candice Swanepoel’s Ass in a Little Dress of the Day

Candice Swanepoel is at the stage in her career where she’s pretty secure with herself…she’s got the millions of dollars in her bank account…her people are likely turning down jobs everyday…she realizes she looks good enough for people to pay her instead of all the other bitches dying for her jobs….so she can get away with posting pics that don’t flatter her…because who really gives a fuck about her nose, or her broad shoulders…them shits make money….especially when all I’m really looking at is her cute little ass…

All this to say…keep up the good social networking woman…cuz you’re winning at it…or at least winning at giving boners…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

30

Nov

Candice Swanepoel in Some Victoria’s Secret Ads of the Day

Candice Swanepoel is lovely…and I know I am pretty much buying into the advertising and marketing strategy of Victoria’s Secret, even more than I normally do when I post their girls in lingerie, contributing to their “fame”….but this time, I’ve gone so far as to post their fucking ads, with writing on them, like I am fucking working for them handing out flyers outside my local Victoria’s Secret, that I happen to be banned from, for loitering near the changing rooms one too many times…

I feel like a sucker…but I like her body too much to not whore myself to the billion dollar man.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel