I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky that Candice Swanepoel is a fucking fantastic half naked girl who is sometimes fully naked…like in this picture she posted to instagram…that wasn’t as spread open so I can see her cervix enough…but I’m hard to please….and cervix porn is only something I get into when I really like the girl and want to see how fertile she is…you know so I can really imagine spilling a glass of my semen in there….so that our love can last forever with a new baby…
Candice Swanepoel posted a bare tit to instagram…and that’s not very christian Victoria’s Secret….your model’s a titty model now….Scandalous…..
Interesting how this favoritism thing works..Candice Swanepoel…an angel sent from Victoria’s Secret….posts a pic of her tit on instagram and she gets 50,000 likes….I post a picture of a girl in a her bra and panties on my instagram ….and I get deleted….4 fucking times…
I am not complaining….I mean I like looking at tit as much as the next guy…especially Candice Swanepoel’s tit…since she’s my soul mate and I write love songs for her…and I think instagram should be all tits…but the fundamental root of this evil is rich, famous, popular getting a way with breaking the rules…and me getting flagged as a fucking porn site….
I am not complaining…I just find it funny that for years, I am talking 9 years that I’ve been doing this….advertisers would blow me off and call me a porn site…while sites they were advertising on posted the same fucking content….making me the worst mainstream site and the worst porn site…all into one…..
So those people are millionaires now….I am still a hurtbag…and it doesn’t all work out in the end….but at least I get to stare at titties in the process…in Arab countries bare tit is worth more than their black gold….Oil….
Here’s the ever lovely Candice Swanepoel breaking the rules in protest….for titties to be seen as art not smut….
TO SEE HUNDREDS OF AMAZING PICS OF HER MODELING HER BIKINI IN ST BARTS THE LAST TWO DAYS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect…even if all you haters are out there hating on her average looking face…because who cares about her face…it’s good enough…and it comes with this perfectly toned when professionally lit and shot body…which is the only interaction I have with her body…making her pretty fucking perfect to me….so perfect that I have written her fucking love songs about eating her ass until it gets waterlogged…not taking a break even when she shits…not that she shits…you see cuz she’s perfect….and more importantly…in being perfect…she doesn’t eat…cuz she’s got perfection to maintain….don’t you people get it??/
I am pretty sure that like a pornstar with a contract…or a WWE superstar with a contract…Candice Swanepoel has a contract with Victoria’s Secret and they own all aspects of her career…because why wouldn’t they?! I mean they found her, they pumped millions into marketing her, they let her on their all star team, they should fucking monetize and benefit from all aspects of her career because it all stems back to them…I mean it’s not like they are nice people, just helping a South African friend get ahead, introducing her to the right people, they are a business and she’s a pivotal part of it, at least right now…
So in them owning her, I can assume that they also run all her social media, as if she’s a line of panties, and they use her followers to shout themselves out while posting standard archive pics like this, and it’s really not all that bad of a thing….considering she’s half naked in it and that half nakedness totally blinds me from all the evil that surrounds her…from Blood Diamonds….to Blood lace and not just cuz of an unexpected miscarriage or period….all business is evil at least when it comes to Candice Swanepoel….
The first is that Candice Swanepoel, my favorite of the Victoria’s Secret models, who my one reader gets mad at me for proclaiming my love, because I guess he never felt love before…not even for some tall, South African farm girl he’s never met…but would still be willing to sing love songs to her outside her bedroom….or chase her to the gate at the airport to say “don’t go”….brought her dog on set and he stole the show…but hiding her tits…in what makes him as bad as when you bang a girl with a dog at her house and the dog doesn’t like what you’re doing to her…..
The second funny thing is that her caption read something like “Milo Stealing all the attention at work”….making me assume she actually considers this life a job and not a meal ticket…like she legitimately thinks this is fucking working….because she’s getting paid to stand around in her underwear…and I guess it gives her purpose…or whatever…but seriously I think the definition of work..is far different than being paid to play….but I’ll still forgive her…since we’re connected at the soul and all.
For those wondering, I’m talking to you guy on twitter, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t pay my to promote their bullshit…but the should…
The other day I did a post on Miley Cyrus Puppy Erotica because seeing a young girl with such a deep love for a puppy is the cutest thing ever….and I like to take cute things….chew them up and shit them out….by suggesting they are anything but innocent fun….it’s my thing…not to mention…you’re all a gang of perverts…and jerking off to a girl and her puppy is hardly the weirdest thing you’ve ever fucking done….
So I felt it was only natural to take two of my favorite things…things that remind me I have a soul….puppies…and Candice Swanepoel’s crotch…the crotch I would commit to for eternity…even though we already are commited….her crotch just doesn’t know it yet….
Someone told me that I need to get over my love for Candice Swanepoel…because it is boring, repetitive, not funny…but is love supposed to be comedic…it love a joke….isn’t love supposed to be a beautiful and romantic thing that changes our life….and makes it a better place worth living…I’m talking about what Disney stories are made of…what makes us cry when it ends…and cry when it happens and cry all the fucking time…cuz it’s just that good for our souls…it’s not a joke…people…it’s not a joke….
That said…here’s Karlie Kloss, Cameron Russell, Candice Swanepoel, Miranda Kerr, …half naked…good times….
It is hard not to fall in love with Candice Swanepoel….I saw this picture yesterday when she posted them….and it took me 24 fucking hours to get them on the site because I was too busy staring at the amazing ass that is Candice Swanepoel in her bikini for Social Media…but not just any bikini…one that is low cut, or high cut, or whatever the fuck this borderline thong shit is…that so many girls are wearing on the beach these days…making the world a brighter, shinier, more amazing place to live…
I love Candice Swanepoel, and I’ve never met her, but I know that if there is one thing out there I need to consider myself a success..it is to hold her hand….even just for a second…and I never get this way over anything…except maybe pugs…but shit people…do you see this ass…it’s so friendly and inviting, like an old comfy sweater, the hot fit ass version…that I want to slip inside and die…after singing it love poetry I wrote it….starving to death cuz it is all I’ll eat..
Next level performance on her part…it speaks to me at my soul….
Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect as far as I am concerned and I guess as far as Victoria’s Secret is concerned too…because they’ve turned her into their poster girl…and without them…she’d probably still be a fit model…trying on clothes for old lady dress manufacturers…but instead she’s the tall, lean, hot body…half naked and incredible to look at…with a rockin’ accent who seems like a pretty lovely person…based on my extensive research of looking at her half naked.
Candice Swanepoel may be owned by Victoria’s Secret..you know since they pretty much found her, locked her into a contract, and made her a celebrity….but I think I may be owned by Candice Swanepoel and I have never even met her, even though I know she’s probably 6 foot 10 and freakish as fuck, but in pictures…in pictures she’s gold…South African Gold….which I guess is actually diamonds…or the AIDS virus…..and whatever else they export besides models with awesome accents….
Happy New Year…this sparking wine tastes like piss and is giving me a head ache and I am not sure I’ll make it til midnight but I never really do…cuz I live in Canada and it is the one day I like to stay in…cuz all the assholes are out…cabs are impossible…and really do we need to be celebrating this kind of shit just cuz the media wants us to….
What we should be celebrating is Candice Swanepoel posted some bikinis pics…cuz bitch is at her prime and one of the hottest and fittest in the game and I think…if there is anything worth celebrating this 2012…it is her…and her amazing accent.
I’ll tell you one job better than washing Candice Swanepoel’s ass off before she does a Victoria’s Secret shoot…you know so that the sand in her South African pussy doesn’t ruin the bikinis they are selling….and that’s writing drunkenstepfather.com….true story…just ask anyone who writes drunkenstepfather.com…they’ll tell you the same thing…and that’s only because washing Candice Swanepoel’s ass would get me arrested…she makes me want to do criminal things to that ass…you know…from stabbing it with my tongue in a romantic way…to shooting my load all over it…you know to give her real reason to wash…I’m helpful like that….
I have probably posted these pics before, they all kinda look the same, but that could just be that there is one constant, one commont thread, the incredible Candice Swanepoel, who people try to hate on, but who’s hate just rolls off her pure, innocent, loving curves…..
She’s good at what she does, and I think I may have to have sex with her get her out of my system….but since she doesnt return my calls, emails, faxes, or love songs I mail her….I guess I’ll just jerk off to her half naked body…..it’s easier and more legal than that whole kidnapping strategy I’d have to take to taste this ass.
OH MY GOD CANDICE SWANEPOEL IS MODELING BIKINIS…..SHOCKING BECAUSE THAT’S ALL THIS BITCH DOES…..Seriously, she needs to tattoo Property of Victoria’s Secret on her fucking forhead, asssuming she doesn’t already have that around her asshole, which happens to be where they extendable plug of her robot ass comes out for charging…you see cuz after much investigation, it has been decided, that there is no way this bitch is real…..
Here are the pics – cuz 40 Victoria’s Secret posts today wasn’t enough….it’s Christmas people and we need to brain wash you into shopping there…even they they only pay us in half naked bitch pics and not a portion of their billions.