Candice Swanepoel is pretty alright. especially when half naked and up against a cop car like she’s some kind of terrorist from South Africa here to drop bombs on the beach in her bikini. You know, or a blood diamond smuggler that uses her vagina as her hiding spot. I mean seeing her bent over any car, in this position, would be worth staring at, the fact that it’s a cop car doesn’t make it any more interesting, because you know she’s just being silly, and really who cares what she’s up against, when all you gotta do is stare at that gap. She’s good at this booty thing…
Ever get that feeling where you’d rather be in a sexual relationship with a picture than your actual wife, because your actual wife is fat, annoying, disgusting, smells and complains all the fucking time. You know nags like she was a hot chick, when she is a vile pig who should learn how to play it fucking cool because otherwise no one will want anything to do with her, because if we wanted to put up with bullshit, we’d do it from hot bitches who other guys can’t handle, but we don’t mind cuz they look good.
Well that’s what’s happening to me right now, thanks to her instagram.
At least this isn’t Victoria’s Secret, but I am going to assume that it is probably owned by Victoria’s Secret, because Candice Swanepoel is modeling it, and she’ pretty much is owned by the billion dollar brand, because I hate Victoria’s Secret pictures. They are all the fucking same, they lack creativity, and they edit out the good parts of the girls, like their stubble on their inner thigh bikini line, and their hard nipples they’d totally expose if they were allowed or told to,, because that’s life as a fucking puppet…a puppet a want to fuck…but in all seriousness, what puppet wouldn’t I fuck….
5 Days Ago, the guy who shot the video of the shoot put up the video to his VIMEO Page.
Just Now, I posted it, because I think Candice Swanepoel, at least in pictures, is a delicate and beautiful flower I want to care for and water with my dick, because in person, she’s probably 6 foot 6, with a clit the size of my dick, but in front of the camera, this bitch has good features.
Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel in bikinis…together….like this was a Victoria’s Secret shoot, but really it is on their spare time, and they are doing it for free, is like a doctor on Doctors Without Borders, or a lawyer doing pro-bono work in the ghetto, or a fucking pornstar fucking you for free. It almost doesn’t make sense, but it is a glorious experience, that feels like you may have won the fucking lottery to make it happen. I mean shit, to book these girls to do this in front of you is probably 10k each…and here they are doing it for free….amazing….especially Candice ass…my god, this is the best pic ever.
Sure I prefer Candice Swanepoel half naked in standardized Victoria’s Secret pics….or topless for fashion pics….or showing her tight little booty in magazines….because she’s got a body that’s incredible, at least in pictures….making me appreciate all things that she does…including posting pics of her boxing….and not just because I like hot girls who can beat the fuck out of me while I get to punch them in the face in the process….knowing she’s 4 inches taller than me and probably is 140 lbs of solid muscle, you know spread out over her 6 foot 2 frame….no wait that is the only reason I like this pic.
Candice Swanepoel…..I mean…she’s fuckin aswesome. She’s got this fucking body that blows my fucking mind. Thin, fit and despite being statistically at risk for HIV thanks to South Africa statistics, I want to taste her without a condom, not that I’d ever use a condom, that shit just gets in the way of all the gynecological exams I give with my penis…
Either way, she’s showing off her body, pretty clothed, but still looking good for Vogue Spain,
Those who model underwear and bikinis together…stay together…because they are paid too much to really relate to other people…but more importantly…they make up an exclusive secret society…that is corporately owned….up on some stepford wife shit…where these robots that are awesome to look at…go where they are told…either solo or as a group….in efforts to take over whatever room and peddle cheap, ill-fitting, padded bras on the unsuspecting lower-middle class suburban woman hoping she’ll look as good as these girls….and as good as they look, posing their typical pose…these girls are tall as fuck, and should start up a basketball or volleyball team….that I’d like to coach and by coach I mean masturbate in the corner while they are warming up…cuz robots or not, they are total babes…
Today has been very Candice Swanepoel heavy….but the reality is that life is Candice Swanepoel heavy…because the people at Victoria’s Secret have implanted her in my brain…with all the muscle they’ve put behind her…making me follow her on Instagram and other social media like she matters or like she has more to offer the world than a rockin’ body…which as it turns out doesn’t need to offer the world anything more than a rockin’ body…cuz a rockin’ body…is all it takes to matter in this superficial world….
I am brainwashed by the billion dollar empire….and so are you….and I don’t even mind…as long as they keep pumping these Candice pics down my throat…hard enough…that I can taste her…
I love fit girls…..whether they are supermodels or not…I just think girls who take care of themselves are fucking babes….whether they are thick and muscular or just fucking perfect like this….you know that whole lean and lovely in tight pants with a brazilian butt from brazilian butt lifts…..or whatever the trendy workout is….
Fit girls are the reason I’ve been banned from at least 4-5 gyms for either trying to hide in the lockeroom – or attending fitness classes fully clothed for masturbation purposes….uninvited…to waiting outside to watch the babes leave the class for a little too long….even though most girls in the gym I see aren’t fit…but are fat trying to be fit…but in those outfits…all spandex and sprots bra it’s good enough for me…..
The same gang of rejects…and by rejects I mean hot fucking babes who are overpaid and likely have egos that reflect their bank accounts…as down to earth as you’d expect a life of luxury and being sucked up to to be…including but not limited to….
Victoria’s Secret pics are like sex with your wife…or long term girlfriend…who you aren’t even really attracted to anymore…not because they aren’t decent looking….but because they have been drained of all excitement and sex appeal over the years of seeing them at their worst….from shitting…to being the same ass you fuck day after day…when all you really want to do is fuck new pussy…but feel torn because you’re not an asshole who would go behind your trusting girl’s back…but shit…you’d love new pussy…even if it wasn’t as hot….just the fact that it was new makes it hot….
You know…the familiar, comfortable, predictable, feels like home kinda pussy you don’t really appreciate as much as you should, but know that you don’t want to lose it….
Because these Victoria’s Secret pics are the fucking same as always..which makes them boring as shit….but the girls in them are hot enough….to make us want to look at them…even if we know what to fucking expect…and even if they don’t give us boners like they did when we were 15 in catalog form before the internet…
It’s familiar….comfortable…predictable…boring…like white people, they all look the same….but shit…this Candice bitch…is pretty spectacular in any setting….
I mean this is just asshole behavior on Candice Swanepoel’s part…she’s covering up the goods on both her and a massive picture of herself that I assume she carries around with herself everywhere she goes…cuz models are paid to look good and in that are really self conscious cunts about the whole thing….often times vain when they look at their bank accounts and when the photographers constantly give them attention while shooting them….for the fans to give them attention too…
It’s like come on girl…how many Candice Swanepoel nipples can be covered up in one single picture before I hate you….
Apparently 2 on the low end, 4 on the high end…..
But I can’t actually hate you, that would get in the way of my loving you….
Candice Swanepoel posted this half naked picture of her in St Barts against the sunset in what would make for a good final shot in a movie…or even a post card…all romantic and artistic and boring….cuz all I really want to see is her in some better light….naked or half naked….modeling the way she’s paid millions to fucking model…
This shadow cast on her body in all it’s suggestive beauty takes away from what matters and that’s seeing her fucking body…mainly her vagina definition….I don’t need to see an outline of her….I mean she’s out there for Victoria’s Secret…now show me the low quality panties people pay too much for….and not this nonsense….photo school drop out crap….
I don’t know how they do it in South Africa….I mean other than legless men in the Olympics Killing models…but in America…we like are Selfies far more slutty….
Step it up…and stomp the yard bro. She can do better.
Candice Swanepoel is a magical experience….she doesn’t need fast cars to make her worth lookin at….like some low level import model….but she’s doing it anyway…and I like to think that’s a sign of her thinking she’s inadequate and at that car show level…when she’s definitely not…but I know that’s not the case…and that getting her to my “studio” to do some “artistic nudes” like I do with so many girls seeking fame….would never happen…but we are all allowed to have dreams and this is mine….