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Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2014

18

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio in Christmas Advent Calendar Porn of the Day

Here’s a little Alessandra Ambrosio, who is actually pretty big, as all these models are, being used to celebrate Christmas…for THE LOVE MAGAZINE Advent Calendar I’ve Been Promoting for Years , not because everyday is Christmas, or because she’s a Christmas miracle, but because any press is good press, especially for Love Magazine who are owning this Christmas season with their silly videos, like this one that is not very exciting, not that I would know if it was exciting, I didn’t actually watch it, because I have better things to do with my time, like uploading it to the internet for you to watch instead because old mom models who worked for an evil billion dollar brand dancing around for Christmas not dressed for Christmas..is your fetish…not mine.

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2014

12

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Bikini for Instagram of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio posted a picture of her tits that I assume are small implants, not because she’s a brazilian and therefore a man, but because she’s a model and models usually have small implants to fill their bikinis better..

She’s pushing 40, has been modelling forever, and I find her boring…but not as boring as Gisele…who probably is a Brazilian tranny, but I only say that because a pro football player is married to her, and well after all those lockerroom showers, and team initiations…you know..being a wide receiver has a couple meanings…especially when you’re a quarterback…right…

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2014

11

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio is Good on the Red Carpet of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio tranny porn is the reason what AIDS penetrated the American porno industry a few years ago….because AIDS is a serious problem for trannies, and the hub for Trannies is Brazil, so it would only makes sense that Brazilian Alessandra would be up on that…not because she’s a tranny, even though she technically could be, a lot of trannies look as good as this and you’d never know, but because it affects her people…but more importantly, she gets to go to a fabulous million dollar charity event, dressed slutty, to inspire lonely assholes to go out there and hire a hooker to possibly get aids from, in efforts to bust the blue ball load she gave them,….and to show us that she cares…it works for me

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2014

08

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Amazing For Glamour of the Day

I guess Alessandra Ambrosio’s still got it. I generally get bored of “supermodels” who work for Victoria’s Secret for the last decade taking the exact same picture year after year, while having babies in between, but every once in a while, I guess, they pull off something good, and the fact that it’s for Glamour makes me think they are stepping up their game and starting to produce shit I am more interested in looking at, you know to compete with the sluts on instagram…all this to say mom’s shouldn’t look this good…wanting to be a stepfather is nothing we should wish upon ourselves…seriously…

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2014

27

Nov

ALessandra Ambrosio On the Beach of the Day

I am thankful for bikini models, who despite having great bodies, are old and moms and not really meant to be bikini models but who still make so many women in the world insecure about their bodies, while telling so many young girls that they only matter if they have bikini bodies, otherwise men won’t like them, and they will be forced to a lonely life of hell….

They represent all evil, while making huge corporations money to exploit asian sweatshop workers…all while making girls insecure and giving everyone unrealistic expectations, while diverting us from what is actually important in life…

What’s not the be thankful for…right?!

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2014

21

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio Has Tits of the Day

Wanna know what I find so fucking fun. I mean like the most fun ever.

Starring at a picture of a model at an event…fully clothed…showing off some cleavage…because she has spent the last decade and a half modeling half naked…in lingerie…and bikinis…because she was part of the most hyped underwear cartel of our generation’s marketing team….before having a bunch of kids…not quite ruining her body, but probably ruining her vagina….

Because my life is pathetic. I mean seriously…if I was actually into Alessandra Ambrosio…I’d probably go through her backlog of content…and not bother with her Brazilian ass doing shitty press…because cleavage…isn’t spread asshole…and I am about the spread assholes…not to mention – she’s old.

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2014

11

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Ass in Jeans Gets Coffee of the Day

A multi million dollar a year model looks far less valuable or interesting when walking around in sloppy jeans – getting coffee…because she’s feeling warn out and on her period…because this Alessandra Ambrosio is not great to look at, it’s normal, how can that be, she’s a multi million dollar model…who is about to walk the biggest sham fashion show in the history of fashion….MEANING…this ass is going to be jerked off by many – and it’s not even that great…no wonder we are failing as a people, our standards are too low…

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2014

10

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Fat Belly Takes a Selfie of the Day

I guess even models are caught up on the social media thing, you’d think that they’d have enough of cameras now that they’ve made millions, but I guess they feel the need to keep up their social media for those people who care about them, because an active social media, is another way to charge more money for a job that is totally redundant, if not useless, because I don’t think anyone really gives a fuck if Alessandro Ambrosio is endorsing a product, knowing she got paid a million dollars for said endorsement, it kind of takes any and all authenticity out of her promoting something, when you know she was just bought, but then again people are idiots….and they may fall for it, making this girl more money than she deserves…

All this to say, I like her belly, fatty with 2 kids needs to retire.

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2014

04

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Fantasy Bra of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is wearing the stupid Victoria’s Secret publicity stunt to show the world just how much of your money they are stealing from you in their mark-ups thanks to exploiting Third World Countries…

My friend put up a Top 10 of the Fantasy bras to get you a first hand perspective of the Ohio based brand’s ridiculousness….from 1 million to 8 million dollar bras…that no one would ever wear, that look cheap and show girl like…and that ultimately are tacky as fuck…but maybe in the middle of white trash America….where Victoria’s Secret represents luxury…lives women who want this much ice on their tits….you know to really help their stripper stage show…

The whole thing is pretty fucking tacky, but not as tacky as their informercial america flocks to like it matters…dumb.

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