I am thankful for bikini models, who despite having great bodies, are old and moms and not really meant to be bikini models but who still make so many women in the world insecure about their bodies, while telling so many young girls that they only matter if they have bikini bodies, otherwise men won’t like them, and they will be forced to a lonely life of hell….

They represent all evil, while making huge corporations money to exploit asian sweatshop workers…all while making girls insecure and giving everyone unrealistic expectations, while diverting us from what is actually important in life…

What’s not the be thankful for…right?!

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Wanna know what I find so fucking fun. I mean like the most fun ever.

Starring at a picture of a model at an event…fully clothed…showing off some cleavage…because she has spent the last decade and a half modeling half naked…in lingerie…and bikinis…because she was part of the most hyped underwear cartel of our generation’s marketing team….before having a bunch of kids…not quite ruining her body, but probably ruining her vagina….

Because my life is pathetic. I mean seriously…if I was actually into Alessandra Ambrosio…I’d probably go through her backlog of content…and not bother with her Brazilian ass doing shitty press…because cleavage…isn’t spread asshole…and I am about the spread assholes…not to mention – she’s old.

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A multi million dollar a year model looks far less valuable or interesting when walking around in sloppy jeans – getting coffee…because she’s feeling warn out and on her period…because this Alessandra Ambrosio is not great to look at, it’s normal, how can that be, she’s a multi million dollar model…who is about to walk the biggest sham fashion show in the history of fashion….MEANING…this ass is going to be jerked off by many – and it’s not even that great…no wonder we are failing as a people, our standards are too low…

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I guess even models are caught up on the social media thing, you’d think that they’d have enough of cameras now that they’ve made millions, but I guess they feel the need to keep up their social media for those people who care about them, because an active social media, is another way to charge more money for a job that is totally redundant, if not useless, because I don’t think anyone really gives a fuck if Alessandro Ambrosio is endorsing a product, knowing she got paid a million dollars for said endorsement, it kind of takes any and all authenticity out of her promoting something, when you know she was just bought, but then again people are idiots….and they may fall for it, making this girl more money than she deserves…

All this to say, I like her belly, fatty with 2 kids needs to retire.

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???????? Beyond excited to be wearing this amazing one of a kind #vsfantasybra at this year's @victoriassecret #vsfashionshow. It is such an honor to be chosen again. Can't wait for London…

???? ???????????? alessandraambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) ? ??? 11, 2014 at 4:59 PDT

Alessandra Ambrosio is wearing the stupid Victoria’s Secret publicity stunt to show the world just how much of your money they are stealing from you in their mark-ups thanks to exploiting Third World Countries…

My friend put up a Top 10 of the Fantasy bras to get you a first hand perspective of the Ohio based brand’s ridiculousness….from 1 million to 8 million dollar bras…that no one would ever wear, that look cheap and show girl like…and that ultimately are tacky as fuck…but maybe in the middle of white trash America….where Victoria’s Secret represents luxury…lives women who want this much ice on their tits….you know to really help their stripper stage show…

The whole thing is pretty fucking tacky, but not as tacky as their informercial america flocks to like it matters…dumb.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio is on the cover of LUI this month…and she’s naked.

Sure it’s not traditional naked…where you can actually see the things that define being naked…like nipples and vagina and gaping asshole…which in this internet porn generation is barely even naked…or inappropriate..you need close up penetration for that…

Instead strategic naked, because she’s a good Catholic mother who has made millions off being half naked, that full naked will come at a premium price…and not for some editorial, no matter how good it is…but instead for a brand or movie that will pay out proper…she knows how this shit works…and I guess half naked, or strategic naked, is better than not naked at all, even if moms in their 30s are a gross concept…when they aren’t Victoria’s Secret underwear models….and here are the pics…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio wore a dress that I would like to think will inspire at least one person to get AIDS in hopes of having her come to their bedside wearing something similar, only to tell themselves “looks like I made it…I did this life thing right”…I mean that or they will get AIDS by flying to Brazil to fuck some tranny faced hooker who very likely is a tranny, rocking a similar body to Alessandra Ambrosio…without a condom because condoms are for pussies…only to bring back AIDS to America and have the whole porno industry on lockdown…because of it…

It’s happened before..just ask Lara Roxx…

That said…I am a fan of her dress…

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

There’s something magical about seeing people taking selfies shamelessly in public. It’s just part of our culture and it happens almost everywhere you go. It’s the internet turning you into the inner narcissist you’ve always been. Forcing you to think people care about where you are, what you are doing, or every little bullshit thing you see….or think…it’s like a 24/7 reality show starring you..and I totally find it boring – until it ends in nudes and sex tapes…in which case…I find it amazing…

So here’s Alessandra, bikini model, taking a selfie, because she doesn’t do enough photoshoots, she isn’t on camera enough, and she needs to turn the camera on herself…you see because the people of instagram are just sitting there waiting to like the shit.

The world is fucking crazy….

Feeling the elements ?????????? #glamz @justinpurdue @kaylamichelehair #aunaturel #beautybythebeach #fashion

A photo posted by alessandraambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) on Ott 10, 2014 at 1:54 PDT

Another day in the office ?????? and @gilles_bensimon gifted me with his beautifully handcrafted #GriGri #bts ???? by @jilliandavison #foreveronvacation

A photo posted by alessandraambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) on Oct 10, 2014 at 8:59am PDT

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Victoria’s Secret Bikini and Lingerie Model and mom of 2 – has figured out the complex plight of the bikini model – what do you do when the bikini model body turns too old to bikini model – you start a bikini line – usually funded by the people you bikini modelled all these years for because you owe them your life for bringing you out of Brazil and taking you to this level…

You see because even products being pushed to 40 year olds, use young girls for them to hate – rather than people their age to hate….it’s simple logic, they can always blame their youth for their bodies, but when you put someone their own age in front of them half naked, it makes their mom asses look lazy and sloppy as shit…

So instead of modelling, launch a brand, Jessica Alba this shit, get rich….and these are the pics.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

Alessandra Ambrosio ass was in jeans for Replay and she got Paid a lot of money for that…Here’s the video

I don’t find it all exciting – considering she’s a nude and lingerie model…it’s like girl take your pants off..that’s what you’re here for – that’s why you were imported from brazil….

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