Alessandra Ambrosio - 6/7 - DrunkenStepfather - Celebrity Gossip, Hot Girls, Comedy, Good Times... Archive - DrunkenStepfather – Celebrity Gossip, Hot Girls, Comedy, Good Times…

Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2009

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini for Some Magazine of the Day

I know Ambrosio had a baby over a year ago, but she seriously bounced the fuck back. I get that we have no idea what kind of damage the baby actually did to the parts that count, like her vagina and whether fucking her is like fucking a plastic grocery bag, not quite as tightly wrapped as needed to stay fresh, but her body is fucking solid and here she is in some Magazine, because apparently people still read magazines, despite the whole internet thing, probably because cleaning cum off your computer screen is a lot worse and leaves more damage than cumming on a magazine page, taking a picture of it, and putting it on the internet for those weird cumming on model picture fetish sites, before throwing it away, or licking it clean, cuz you don’t believe in waste and because you’re weird like that……and here are the pics.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Girls Not in Lingerie of the Day

2 Comments »

This may seem obvious to you, but obvious it isn’t obvious to the people at Victoria’s Secret, but if you have a team of lingerie models who work for you on a full time basis and who are the core of your marketing of your brand, you have a responsibility to the people who jerk off to these women and in turn to your brand, who make all your execs rich and allow you to afford the expensive photoshoots and to afford the scouts traveling the world kidnapping hot pussy and greasing government officials to bring to America to exploit for their hot tits, and that responsibility is to always keep the bitches in their fucking panties or bikinis, not in jeans and pink t-shirts.

We dont give a fuck about seeing these whores in everyday clothes, we have enough women in our lives who we are forced to see in everyday clothes cuz we can’t afford to bribe them into getting half-naked like Victoria’s Secret has done for us and this is pretty rude on their part, you know the whole giving us a taste and not following thru making this the biggest cockteasing company out there…assholes…

Here are some extra pics of Marisa “the body” Miller’s face lookin’ old.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Clothed|Doutzen Kroes|Marisa Miller|Victoria's Secret

2009

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio for Some Videoshoot of the Day

3 Comments »

I am guessing this is some video clip bullshit they are going to use in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, but what the fuck do I know, I live in Canada and really don’t give a fuck or stay on top of this shit, I have enough trouble wiping my ass when drunk or hungover, which is always, to waste my energy tracking these models because they don’t waste their time tracking me, but they will once they find me hiding under their bed masturbating or in their closets masturbating to all the outrageous money they’ve made strictly for being hot because the world we live in is pretty fucking superficial and our priorities are all fucking out of wack and that is okay with me….but only cuz I hate ugly chicks…

Pics via INF

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Model

2009

Oct

More Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Pictures for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

4 Comments »

I am assuming that the paparazzi were called by Victoria’s Secret to get some “behind the scenes”, seemingly leaked, pictures of Ambrosio in her bikini photoshoot, because that’s just how sneaky marketing people who know there is a big televised fashion show to promote before Christmas tend to be, so that explains all the Victoria’s Secret shit released the last few days and it is really possible that these are photoshopped to ensure no imperfections make it out to the public prior to pretending the pictures were “leaked”, but I have a feeling that this is really what we’re dealing with in terms of Ambrosio’s recent pregnancy body and it is pretty spectacular, but in defense to my theories on how babies destroy women and their bodies, the real bulk of the damage is probably hidden in those bikini bottoms and the second she undresses the motherfuckin’ thing looks like a mutated, devastated, cancerous fleshy mess like Chernobyl after the nuclear meldown…but try not to think about that when lookin’ at these pics, it kinda kills the mood and takes away to the goodness that is this Brazilian ass….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Victoria's Secret

2009

Oct

Alessandra Ambrosio on the Beach with some Pigs for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

3 Comments »

More Victoria’s Secret photoshoot pictures are being leaked to the internet because I guess it’s good free publicity and I’m not complaining because pussy on the beach whether famous models or not, whether getting paid or not is still pussy on the fucking beach so even if it is a recent mother and the pics aren’t all that hot, it’s still better than looking at pictures of my wife, but then again even the worst possible thing in the world you could think of is better than looking at my wife, because pictures of her are a reminder of how much of a fuck up I am and I already know that already so I prefer to not be reminded….

Here are some of the pigs they hire to work the photoshoots who are paid to make the models feel good about themselves, like the hot chick with 4 fat friends you see at the bar, you know the fat friends who pretty much manage them and cockblock you from getting up in them, because they decide to take a liking to you and tell the hot one you want to fuck to leave you for them, because they never get guys and it is not fair, not that you had a chance with the hot one, but sometimes rejection is better than bringing desperate second rate shit home to fuck…not that I’d know…since all I get is shit…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

Oct

Alessandra Ambrosio Post-Pregnancy Body isn’t Bad of the Day

5 Comments »

If the average woman bounced back into shape like Ambrosio did after her baby, we’d live in a pretty magical place where the pussy older than 30 would be pussy I’d be willing to fuck, when now shit just grosses me out, especailly when it is hiding in a damp corner of my wife’s really big underwear.

Pics via INFphoto

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Alessandra Ambrosio at the VMAs of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s the only thing good that came out of the VMAs, other than a Kanye being a dick publicity stunt the news have fucking exhaust because he’s a broken down, rebel who is angry at the world cuz his mom died and she never lived to accept his homosexuality that even he hasn’t accepted, and the Twilight extended trailer for all you idiot Twilight fans, or even the Janet Jackson singing Michael Jackson before his dad ran their movie trailer for the film “Not our last attempt to exploit our dead son”, and it is Alessandra Ambrosio, I know a day late, but when I saw these pics I was like “Finally, a woman I have nothing bad to say about even after she had a kid” and that doesn’t happen often, so if anything we should all collectively masturbate to her and cum at the same time in some kind of new age fireworks show like we were Chinese and that isn’t gay unless some of us start doing it in the room together, which we won’t because we don’t have friends, we only have each other….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Hot|VMAS

2009

Aug

Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio Dance Off of the Day

1 Comment »

Here is some MTV bullshit that is probably not from this part of the world of two Victoria’s Secret models doing some guess the song dance off…unfortunately Lady Gaga polluted this shit but Alessandra Ambrosio’s shorts made up for it. There is really nothing funny about this video, just a whole lot of depressing since not all girls are made like this, but at least there is a whole lot of legs going on in this video and that may make your life a little more enjoyable for a few minutes before accepting the fact that the world is an unfair place, your wife is fat and ugly and your life is fuckin miserable….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Dancing|Marisa Miller

2009

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio is Kissing Some Dude of the Day

3 Comments »

Hey look a girl you’ve jerked off to many fucking times is in love with another guy, unfortunately for you, this is something you’re getting used to. It all started when you were a 12 year old boy and the pretty girl in your class went off with someone else, even after you reached out and wrote her a love letter and before you spat in her face, called her a cunt and got suspended and issued a restraining order against her from the school, pretty much starting a common theme in your life, that you probably will never be able to live down.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Kissing

2009

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio Does a Clothed Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio in some clothed photoshoot. This is like some non-nude model bullshit that was huge on the internet a bunch of years ago, where bitches like Kate’s Playground would never show off tit or vag, and just dance around in their fucking underwear like a bunch of teenage sluts who were milking idiot men for tons of fucking money, despite having a club foot, no one would ever really look past, if she was an actual stripper or some shit.

You know, I get the tease factor, you know not wanting a bitch to give you her everything, you know building up to it or whatever, but I don’t get that for internet porn, you now, especially when every girl in your life refuses to get naked for you daily, the last thing you need is an internet slut to do the same fucking thing. I mean I am self-hating, self-sabotaging, self-destructive, but I’m not a fuckin’ idiot or going to pay 30 dollars a fucking month to get girls to not get naked for me, when they don’t get naked for me for free.

Anyway, the whole point of all this is to say that this Ambrosio shit is the opposite of that non-nude model shit, because we’ve all seen her in underwear and now she’s all dressed up, like some kind of mom or something and that pisses me off.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Clothed|Photoshoot

2009

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Bikini Pictures Cuz That’s What She Does of the Day

No Comments »

Alessandra Ambrosio was out in her bikini. I don’t really give a fuck, because this is like watching a postal clerk applying a stamp, or like watching a janitor take out the trash, or like watching a chamber maid getting an abortion after getting a little too close to a vaccuum salesman, a nurse changing bed pans, an orderly raping the patients in comas, a retail store clerk pocketing money from the till, an executive sleep her way up the corporate ladder, a chef spitting in food, a stripper rubbing on your dick in a booth, or greasing up a pole with her skank ass, and a prostitute suckin’ dick. Watching a bitch at work and getting paid for it just is’t as inspiring or interesting as when she does it from the bottom of her slut heart….that’s all I feel like saying about this….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2008

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio Is Not Pregnant Anymore of the Day

1 Comment »

I just realized I am late for something – so I decided to throw up some pictures to tide you over….who cares what I have to say anyway…because I am just going to tell fat chicks to take this girl’s lead, she’s defied all odds of being pregnant.

Update: At least 25 men have sent these pictures to their wives they married and started a family with, who look a solid 40 pounds heavier than they did on their wedding night, letting them know that they are onto them, and know that just because they got knocked the fuck up, doesn’t mean they have to eat a bag of chips or pint of ice cream, every fucking night of their lives, leading them to become the fucking mess that they are today, because if Ambrosio can snap right back with a little dedication, their lazy asses can to, so stop fucking slacking and making excuses you fat dirty whore who lied to me, tricked me, and ruined my life but who I still call my family….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bathing Suit

2008

May

Some Victoria’s Secret Promo Starring Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio in Bikinis of the Day

4 Comments »

The Victoria’s Secret cult strikes again with their distracting hot bitches in bikinis that they pretty much own like this dude I know who bough a Russian in some Mail Order bride service. Bitch did everything he told her and it was always funny seeing this tall hot blonde chick holding hands with a short, old fat guy, but she was just happy to be there until he pushed too hard and his posters of war-torn Russia that he would point to everytime she was out of line stopped working, leading to her taking the driving seat and eventually leaving him for some younger, richer dude. I just tell him he’s lucky he got out alive, because anyone from a war-torn country is dangerous and reverts back to survival mode when they really lose it but poor fucker is just broken hearted about it. I guess that just proves you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pussy.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Marisa Miller|Miranda Kerr|Victoria's Secret

2008

May

Alessandra Ambrosio has Some Hot Pregnant Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Alessandra Ambrosio is part of the reason I want to get a model pregnant, even though that dream is not possible for me since my good years are far behind me and because my good years weren’t all that good, I was just a little more put together and about 10 years farther away from my impending death. I know that if I made other life choices I could have ended up with a model’s baby, like if I never got fired from that old folks home, maybe one of the girls coming to see their dying grandmother was hot, or even if I became addicted to dance instead of addicted to drinking, I could have found myself performing at some model conference. The truth is you just never know, but I do know that it wasn’t written in my cards.

The reason I would want to get a model pregnant, is that despite having a disgusting little parasite eating off her and growing inside her, she is still hot enough to fuck and not worry about how gross the experience actually is and just follow your balls direction in cumming inside her again. It’s like give something worth eating as my load showers it’s little developing head.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|cleavage|Tits

2008

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Pregnant Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

I love how all these fuckin’ virgins get all excited when a pregnant chick shows up with her cleavage exposed because her tits are miraculously bigger. It’s like seeing a teenage kid who just hit puberty on the beach amongst girls in bikinis. Their excitement makes no fuckin’ sense to me, maybe it’s because I know the condition her pussy will be in in 9 months, or maybe it’s cuz I don’t like lookin’ at fat chicks with big tits because I don’t like fat tits or maybe it’s because big tits usually mean sloppy asses. The truth is that getting off to a pregnant chick is some twisted shit and a losers sport. I have a hard enough time fucking a hooker knowing she slammed a guy an hour before me so thinking about a dude beating me to the prize and the proof is showing in her fat uterus that I am trying to cum inside really messes with my head.

The good news is that despite how twisted I am and how much I enjoy watching girls breast feed their babies in public, I can die knowing that I am not as sexually fucked up as I am accused of while all these other sick seemingly normal virgins fucks are jerking off to knocked up Brazilian bitches and I’m at home watching Brazilian tranny porn, because there’s nothing more normal than watching a hot chick with a dick getting sucked off by another hot chick.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant|Tits