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Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2010

26

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio Shows Her Panties of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio’s got the right idea. She knows that we’ve all seen her half naked, so she might as well not bother trying to cover her fucking panties and I am a fan, mainly because she strategically hid her battered mom pussy that I’m sure hasn’t bounced back as well as her body did to the way it was before she had a baby…but also because I love seeing up a girls skirt…no matter what panties she wears or doesn’t wear or what condition her pussy was in….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Panties

2010

26

Mar

Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanpoel in Bikinis of the Day

The pictures of these Victoria’s Secret models are floating around and so are my insides because I drank way too much lastnight, so I figured why not post the video, set to some jazz cuz keepin it jazzy is what life is all about and by jazzy I mean hot bitches in their bikinis and little shorts…

Here are the pics….

Alessandra Ambrosio was on some annyoing LA morning show….promoting Victoria’s Secret…if you care what a model has to say, but the good news is that the’s some models in bikini in a hot tub, a hot tub party which as Jersey Shore as it is, it is something I need in my life…

The Victoria’s Secret Machine is making their slave women promote the new Swim Catalog pretty fucking hard…they even had an event for the shit and here are some of the models and non-models who attended…if you care…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Candice Swanpoel|Miranda Kerr

2010

25

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio is a Model who Isn’t Modeling of the Day

I don’t like seeing models when they are fully clothed and not modeling…who gives a fuck about them living their everyday lives, spending the insane amounts of money that they made by just lookin’ good and standing around in exotic places half naked all day….

I do like seeing them in photoshoots, when their hair and make-up and photoshop is on their side but more importantly, they’re half naked….

Because I’ve been to a couple of bars over the years where I’ve been stuck next to models, what you don’t see in the pictures, is that they are really fucking tall and big, making me feel like the little bitch most of you probably think I am….

I’m more into girls I can at least fantasize about having sex with, you know the kind of girl I can visualize spinning around on my pathetic dick, not girls I’m scared may not make it through the bedroom door without ducking, but I’m definitely down with seeing them in picture….just not these kinds of pictures…but the pictures they make millions for…

So here’s Alessandra Ambrosio leaving a bar, being a bad mother, but maybe that’s just the Brazilian way….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Model

2010

08

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio in a Pink Bikini of the Day

I got in a fight with the paparazzi agency who owns these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio hot in a Pink Bikini because I talk shit about celebrities, while they pay off celebrities to stage photoshoots they can pretend are candid pictures, because Hollywood is a fucking business. Just last week they paid Nicole Richie 25,000 dollars to stand in front of the Eiffel Tower with her baby, 25,000 dollars for a picture of Nicole Richie. Can you imagine being that desperate of a company that you have to do something like that to generate revenue…

Needless to say, the more celebs I ripped into, the more celebs got mad enough to complain, or maybe they didn’t compain at all, but the photoagency were just doing damage control before they accidentally landed on it, so I can’t post these amazing pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio in her bikini, but lucky for you there are at least 100 sites doing what I do who have the rights to these pcitures and I will link them so you can go and check this shit out…..

So follow this link because seeing the amazing mom body that proves that mom’s aren’t all used up and disgusting that is Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini was too good to ignore….and remember not all mom’s have to be lazy fucking cunts…so forward this off to your baby mommas or your mother’s or girls you are dating with kids to prove their collective lie wrong.

Alessandra Ambrosio is Fucking Hot in a Pink Bikini
GO

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pink Bikini

2010

02

Mar

Victoria’s Secret Models with Cutouts of the Day

Look you’re not the only one with lifesize cutouts of Victoria’s Secret models. You’re just the only one who fucks those lifesize cutouts….

Here are a couple Victoria’s Secret models in some seriously ill-fitting pants that make me think they are substitute teachers from the 80s, or working a church fundraiser, or my friend’s mom who used to love Khakis no matter how fat she got…what a fucking disappointment only shaped liked Alessandra Ambrosio and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and not a middle aged short fat white trash woman with no taste who liked Tuna Casserole…..They really need to start dressing these bitches up like they do in photoshoots for all public events.

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Rosie Huntington-Whitely|Sex Dolls|Victoria's Secret

2010

24

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Nipples and Ass in a Photoshoot of the Day

These are some Alessandra Ambrosio pictures of her ass and tits. The photographer’s name is Jannis “The Anus” Tsipoulanis, but I’m thinking we need to start referring to him as the guy who has a much better life, more interesting friends, and a lot more custom jerk off material than our loser selves who can’t even convince our girlfriends to let us take pics of their nipples to put on the internet to show our friends that we really aren’t pathetic virgin losers. Seriously, how funny is it that this dude’s job is taking these pictures, while your job, if you have one is stocking shelves at the grocery store. It’s on some survival of the fittest shit that really makes life unfair, but the good news is that Jannis the Anus likes to share…so we can pretend we were their when this all went down.

Collectively, we suck at life and we should all that Jannis the Anus for proving that…..even though we didn’t really need proof. These could be old these or these could be new, I don’t really know because I don’t keep on top of Alessandra Ambrosio’s photoshoot schedules, despite how much of a loser it may seem like I am for having this site….but what difference does it really make…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Ass|Nipples|Photoshoot

2010

26

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Hot Body in her Bikini Top of the Day

It doesn’t really make any fucking sense to me that a woman who just had a kid looks like this. I know I’ve gone over this at least 10 times but life is repetitive and apparently so am I. I figure she really just couldn’t afford to let herself go after pregnany like all the other North American lazy mothers, because bitch sold her soul to the Victoria’s Secret devil and contractually she has to get back into fighting form, or they won’t release her family they’ve held captive all these years she’s been working to get them back, a risk she wasn’t willing to take because she was loose in the hips and let a dude cum in her and make her debate abortion versus her catholic upbringing.

We’re so use to our bitches getting sloppy and fat after pregnancy, that we’ve just pretty much accepted our fate, especially since we’re overtaken by depression of the fact that we’re now fathers, and our fun is over, so it is just amazing to see Ambrosio and gives us hope that our women take the same commitment after we show them these pictures and make sure she understands that we know she’s a fucking lazy slob making excuses and that bouncing back is possible and that the pact her and her other pregnant friends who gave up on being hot after 9 months of bitching and complaining made, is busted and has no validity…..making women hate this bitch and makes me love the bitch, even though I have no idea what condition her pussy is in, or how much plaster, papier mache and paste has been used to make it look like it is in one piece while wearing a bikini….

That said, here are the pics….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini Top|Hot

2010

25

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio Paddle Surfs in a Bikini of the Day

Some people save up their money all year to get the chance to go on some really shitty, yet affordable All Inclusive resort. The kind of 2 star resort that has shittier conditions thatn Haiti. I’m talking run down, filled with racist trailer trash, with hepatitis ice cubes in the watered down drinks, only to get diarhea the first day of your trip and all your worldly possessions stolen the second day and a horrible sun burn the third day, setting you up for the worst fucking trip in history, but you won’t admit it because you saved all your money to go on this shit and there’s no way you’ll admit you had a bad time.

Other people get paid 5 times your yearly salary to do a photoshoot in the nice islands that don’t smell like AIDS, that also includes 5 star accommodations, gourmet meals and everything else that you could imagine on you dream vacation….because those people look like Alessandra Ambrosio and not like your wife or any of the trash that has let you put your dick in them. Life is unfair, get over it….

Here she is doing a little paddle surfing…..cuz she’s clearly a faggot….you know since paddle surfing was invented by faggots for faggots like Fubu but less black…even though the only people I knew who ever wore Fubu were white poor kids who got made when I’d tell them shit was made for black people…but you get what I mean….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Paddle Surf

2010

15

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio Lingerie Catalog Pictures of the Day

If you can jerk off to these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio’s hot mom body in lingerie, you’re either a 14 year old, or a fucking skilled masturbator, because in this era of internet porn I need a hell of a lot more pussy lip to get me going, even if that pussy lip was ravaged and beat the fuck up by passing a baby through it… This photoshopped bullshit just leaves me unsatisfied and annoyed because I want to see what her actual body looks like, because I know shit is pretty fucking good without the bullshit post production shit that makes it look like she’s a fucking plastic sex doll….that said here she is in some lingerie for some catalog….

Bonus – Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr for what I can only assume is the same catalog and she’s lookin’ alright….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Catalog|Lingerie

2010

13

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio in Some Candid Bikini Pics of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is just one of those girls who really has it going on, she still looks more solid than pretty much any girl I’ve ever seen, except maybe the bitch with the eating disorder and speed addiction who had a real solid body, but her yellow skin, lesions and missing teeth kinda lose out to Ambrosio in the beauty pageant…

I just can’t believe she recenlty shat out a kid and maintained a body like this, it goes again my theory that babies ruin pussy, but then again, we don’t know how much tape she’s got holding her uterus in place….

So here are some candid pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio for some test shoot before the actual photoshoot and the bitch looks amazing.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

23

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Practices Bikini Modeling of the Day

The say these are personal pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio, but I doubt the shit. I mean it is possible that Victoria’s Secret has programmed this immigrant to only know, understand and execute model poses the second she gets in a fucking bikini as it is all she knows, and it’s also possible that she’s got a sense of humor about how much of a joke her job is, because even the people paying her can’t believe the price they gives these cunts to just put on a bikini, or maybe these aren’t personal pictures at all, but are just a virgin’s collection of various pictures of her throughout her career, and none of that matters, becaue I’m only posting it because I like bitches in bikinis and never really care about the motivation why they are in a bikini….so here are the pics…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Model

2009

14

Dec

Boring Bikini Model Party You Weren’t Invited to of the Day

Doutzen Kroes and Alessandra Ambrosio were kickin’ it after their really stressful day standing around in a bikini and getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars, so they hit the bottle….and shit looked really fucking boring. I prefer model parties to end with lesbian sex orgies because they had a little too much to drink….

My only really question is what happened to Adriana Lima? She was always my favorite one and her wholesome viringity was a lot more fun than watching washed up mothers drinkin’ themselves stupid cuz they’ve got nothing better to do with their time while the baby is with the sitter and they’ve got 5 minutes to their fucking self to let loose and play charades or whatever the fuck she’s doing…all this party is missing is for one of these sluts to bust out the Scrabble board….cuz they’re so fucking wild.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Doutzen Kroes

2009

14

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio One Piece Bathing Suit Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio brought her disgusting mom body out in a bathing suit because I guess Victoria’s Secret is contractually obligated to give her work and the whole thing makes me feel really sorry for her husband and his poor planning. He thought he was locking down Alessandra Ambrosio, the hugely successful bikini and lingerie model, but instead he turned her into this. Disgusting.

Here’s the proof that karma’s a fucking bitch…and it is really pictures like this that make me really happy to be me and good about myself…you know with my obese wife and poverty cuz it coulda been worse…I coulda married a supermodel who ended up like this…and by this I mean pretty fucking hot. I suck at life…

BONUS – Here are some actual BIKINI pictures to show you how GROSS she is and really drive my point home….

Pics via Bauer

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bathing Suit|One Piece

2009

10

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini of the Day

Don’t let these pictures fool you because under those bikini bottoms lives a grey, stretched out, used up, thick and calloused, stiched up , wounded and dying vagina that only a new mother can really appreciate, because it is a sign of her new joy.

Sure her body is rockin’ and looks tight, but it definitely doesn’t mean the rest of her is. It’s all some strap and duct tape to hold things together. The same white washin’ trannies use to make you think they don’t have a ball sack, something ambrosio’s vagina now looks like…

Sure this is all assumptions, because I’ve never seen her twat, but it’s truth to me and that’s all that matters.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2009

09

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Doing Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio doing yoga is a pretty good thing, but I find this shit disappointing. This is a Victoria’s Secret shoot but last time I checked Victoria’s Secret made panties and lingerie and shit and bitch is clearly not wearing a fucking see through thong while in her the downward dog or whatever the yoga position so long as I’m under her and she’s using my face as the fucking yoga mat you know just to see if I can still taste the remnants of the baby she just recently birthed…..or at least guage the damage the baby caused with my tongue and loving every fucking second of it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret