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Archive for the Alicia Keys Category

2013

13

Sep

Alicia Keys Bikini Picture of the Day

Alicia Keys posted this bikini pics, and she was clever enough to focus on her ripped stomach to distract you from her huge, scary, monster legs…and for some reason I am not offended by it…maybe I have been having sex with my vile wife for too long…

Posted in:Alicia Keys

2013

24

Apr

Alicia Keys is Unfortunatel in her Bikini of the Day

I don’t think Alicia Keys keeps on falling in and out of love….with “UH” you…I think she keeps falling in and out of love with cake, but for the most part, she’s pretty in love with cake.


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Posted in:Alicia Keys

2012

05

Jun

Alicia Keys Scary as Fuck Bikini Pic of the Day

Proof a flat stomach doesn’t mean a bitch is skinny…not even when rocking cancer.

She looks like a comic book character…all ripped upper body…squeezed into a size small bikini bottom…that her fat thighs cuz she’s fat are trying to eat….

This is one of those fat chicks…who like to be referred to as thick…who think they aren’t fat cuz they have abs and small tits….proven by their choice in swimwear and the fact they post this shit to the internet….and it is horrible…

Loving your body messages to the youth should only happen when the bitch is skinny.

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Photos

2011

25

Jul

Alicia Keys Not So Erotic Bathing Suit Pics of the Day

I just finished saying that I didn’t care what a bitch looked like, just as long as she was in a bikini…well I want to take that statement back…cuz I know that what happened was I was so excited by all the ridiculously hot pussy…that when the ugly bitches walked by I didn’t even notice them..and if I did….I was so excited by the hot pussy that I was pretty willing to finger their assholes with my tongue…

Cuz when ugly pussy is alone, in a “Me against the pool” party….it’s hardly something you want to mount like an animal in the fucking jungle….but instead…it is something you’d rather want to erase from your memory…espeically when it is in picture…something hardly jerk off-able…but the good news is that this in the fucking internet and you’ve got yourself some google to take care of your pervert needs…pervert.

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Posted in:Alicia Keys

2011

29

Jun

Alicia Keys Has an Embarrassingly Fat Wax Figure of the DAy

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She might as well been modeled sitting in her bed eating a tub of ice cream crying cuz her boyfriend left her. I always say instead of wrapping the emotional eating up in spandex, embrace and expose it….

You’d think out of respect they’d slim her down to the point everyone would say “Shit, look how great they made her look” instead “hey look they turned her into a fast food restaurant clerk dresses as Alicia Keys as an action figure on halloweeen”……

Not that I actually care, I just find it funny. What an amazing joke on the part of Madame Tisasss….This is something I’d do in the DrunkenStepfather Wax Museum of Sluts that currently lives in the furnace room and is strictly reserved for me to fuck.

Posted in:Alicia Keys

2010

06

Aug

Alicia Keys Bikini Pictures of the Day

I have a lot in common with Alicia Keys’ personal chef….and that’s that before these pictures we just assumed she was always pregnant.It was the only explanation for the outrageous amounts of food she’s been eating all these years, making it safe to assume she was eating for two, and we just didn’t take the time to realize that the other person Alicia Keys was feeding was her sloppy legs and ass….

Don’t get me wrong, I love fat black women, I mean there’s a reason Aunt Jamima syrup sells so well, it brings comfort, comfort I’ve been trying to recreate by spending a lifetime of trying to bed big women to try to get that feeling again, but they don’t taste syrupy good, or smell like warm cooked country breakfast…they taste and smell like shit…but in my defense, I really only got with fat chicks when no one else would take me, and that’s how I stupidly married one….

And what it all comes down to is that pregnant or not, I have never found Alicia Keys hot, worth wanting to fuck, so seeing her in a bikini pregnant or just fat in a bikini is all the same kinda boring….and just reminds me that bitch should keep the fat women off the beach and on Jerry Springer talking about having sex for a cheeseburger where they belong.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alicia Keys

2010

09

Feb

Alicia Keys’ Ass in a Bikini of the Day

I’d say that I keep on falling in and out of love with Alicia Keys, but that would be a lie. I never loved the bitch, it’s just the only thing I think of when I hear her name because that’s pretty much where her career started and finished for me, since I wrote her the fuck off when I realized she was not hot and that her voice was annoying. Sure, I get that she rode Bill Cosby’s leg when she was a kid , forcing him to pull some strings for her, otherwise she was taking it to the police….So when everyone got excited about this hairy chested thing…I just kinda laughed it off, but today these pictures of her in a bikini are far less offensive than I’d expect. Maybe it’s the angle, maybe I wrote her off too soon, maybe I just have no standards or taste and here are the pics.

Here she is in some bullshit one-piece – lookin like a goddess provided you don’t have any taste.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Ass|Bikini

2009

18

Dec

Alicia Keys in Some Bikini Video in Dubai of the Day

The hottest part of this video is when Alicia Keys falls on her face, not totally because I hate her, but because I like seeing stuggle on a bitches face, especially when she’s got an ego and things she’s untouchable like Alicia Keys does. She’s fucking everywhere now, pushing this album hard, collaborating with every artist, appearing on every talk show, and now releasing bikini videos to the internet, let’s just hope these bikini videos turn in getting gang banged in the tour bus, cuz I don’t trust a girl until I know what her vagina looks like and even then I don’t trust them, but at least know what their vagina looks like, which is better than not knowing what their vagina looks like, cuz otherwise I’ll just always wonder…if ya know what I mean…

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Bikini|Dubai

2009

17

Dec

Alicia Keys Was a Pretty Slutty Kid of the Day

Here is a video of Alica Keys from the Cosby Show. I actually remember this scene from back then because I found it pretty creepy, but obviously forgot it until seeing this video. I just assumed the girl went onto a career of prostitution or stripping, dealing with the emotional trauma of being molested by Bill Cosby…you know his J-E-L-L-O all up in her but instead she grew up to be Alicia Keys…

This would never get on TV today…probably a good thing….or maybe sad that a man can’t innocently slap a kids ass without getting called a pervert when it’s really harmless…despite Cosby totally fitting the molester profile….from being a kid educator….to having shows about kids in order to be around kids…but I guess it doesn’t matter….

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Slutty