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Archive for the Amanda Bynes Category

2008

05

Aug

Amanda Bynes ia a Helpful Bridesmaid of the Day

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

I think these pictures of Amanda Bynes as a Bridesmaid at her sister’s wedding are from a while ago, but I didn’t bother lookin’ it up. The reason I didn’t is because who really gives a fuck when they were taken, what we need to focus on is the fact that she’s a bridesmaid and bridesmaids are the horniest bitches at a wedding. I guess the reason is because they are working closely with the whole production for the enitre process and spend a year of planning in the passenger’s seat while their friend who is getting married gets all the attention and the one thing a girl hates is when another girl gets more airtime than her. So when the wedding night roles around and the open bar starts flowing and their single ass is depressed about having not found love and have spent a year on the backburner to their happy friend, they seriously put out fucking hard in hopes of finding some self-worth.

So these seemingly innocent pictures of Amanda Bynes helping her sister out but getting her lipstick off her face for her special night are hot because you know she’ll be pointing to the same place at the end of the night for whoever she’s fucking to clearly identify where she wants him to cum.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Bridesmaid

2008

31

Jul

Amanda Bynes Wears Spandex Shorts of the Day

I’ve had a thing for Amanda Bynes ever since I was forced to watch She’s the Man 30 times with my stepdaughter and her friends a couple years ago. That’s when I learned that when you watch a young teenage girl dressed like a boy long enough, bitch starts to look hot. It became a bit of an obsession of mine at the time, where I could only get off to a chick if she was in some baggy ass clothes, a soccer uniform, or had her hair tucked into her hat. It was pretty much the gayest my fantasies have ever gone, except for the time I gangbanged a chick with my homeboy and are balls rubbed right as I was cumming, I struggled with figuring out if his balls made me cum or if the slut we were banging made me cum and I was forced to drop him as a friend because I didn’t want my OCD to make me take him for a ride to find out.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Spandex Shorts

2008

04

Jul

Amanda Bynes and Her Shitty See Through Shirt of the Day

Comments Off on Amanda Bynes and Her Shitty See Through Shirt of the Day

Remember Amanda Bynes, well here she is in a shitty see through shirt showing all you perverts that she’s not 12 anymore and actually has a little tit. I got nothing much to say because I am hung the fuck over but I just had a funny experience at the pharmacy with my friend. He needed to get some Vaseline for his dicksores and I went with him, not because he needed emotional support, but because I had nothing better to do and didn’t realize how gay we would look. So we get up to the cash to pay and dude puts down a tub of vaseline, a pack of baby wipes, duct tape and some lady speed stick and I run in throwing some candy, tweezers and chocolate syrup for my wife onto his bill, and the cashier just gave us a smirk like she knew what we were up to. Part of me wanted to be all “it’s not like that, we’re not up to no faggot shit” but realized why bother and that it was funnier to let her think she just was involved in facilitating some weird fat, hungover Mexican fetish anal sex party. I guess kinda like I feel involved in faciliating your weird Amanda Bynes dressed like a boy in her soccer movie masturbation by posting these pictures. Enjoy.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|See Through|Shitty

2007

19

Nov

I am – The American Music Awards Arrivals of the Day

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I didn’t watch the American Music Awards because they are a waste of fucking time, even though every acceptance speech is about how shit changes lives, but unfortunately my life wasn’t one of those lives changed today, because I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I’d be living the fuckin’ dream and I am pretty sure I’d be watching scrambled porn, not because I like porn, but because distorted blue and green sex scenes excite me more than Dick Clark’s bullshit award show.

I tried getting someone in LA to crash red carpet for this event for stepTV, but I have no real pull, I couldn’t get press access and security’s a bitch, not to mention the dude I know in LA doesn’t have a camera and can barely speak english, but it still would have been better coverage than the actually award show, but that’s just like comparing a hot girl to some fat one night stand you once brought home when drunk because she was willing and you are an opportunist who doesn’t turn down a girl when she offers you creampie, unfortunately when you got back to her place, you realized that by creampie bitch actually meant a cream pie and you sat there eating whip cream and watching reruns of Seinfeld, because that’s all that was on at 4 am, until you sobered up and had to peace the fuck out because you realized that her elastic waistband on her sweat pants wasn’t something that could really get you off and for the record stepTV is that fat chick because it’s lower quality but makes for a better fuckin’ story.

I am recovering from binge drinking like a sorority girl during Homecoming week, and I don’t remember all that much of the last two nights, but I do know I laughed a lot so if you’re lucky I’ll bring some of that to you here, it happens sometimes, just not in this post.

Here are the arrival pictures from the AMAs.

Beyonce’s Got Some Insane Cleavage Going On….I Guess Someone’s Been Eating Her Fried Chicken

Alicia Keys Did Some Choreographed Dance Routine I Didn’t Understand

Amanda Bynes Got Some Fucking Legs

Ashley Tisdale is Hot Right Now, Like a Busted Old Pick-Up Truck In Your Front Lawn on a Hot Summer’s Day…

Avril Lavigne Dressed Like an Academy Award, If Academy Awards Had Stupid Hair

Some Carrie Underwood Wearing Curtains

Jennie Garth Dancing With Her Old Face…Which She Thinks is a Star…But Really Isn’t

Rihanna in Some Halloween Costume Shit Still Lookin’ Hot…

Vanessa Hudgens Because We’ve All Seen Her Naked and I Like to Show Love To Bitches Who Get Naked….

Fergie because Her Body is Too Good to be a Man

Nicole Scherzinger Because Her Dress Reminds Me of This Retarded Kids Art Project But Less Attractive….

Kellie Pickler Because We Like to Support Her Fake Tits

Miley Cyrus Because She’s Jailbait and has the Coolest Fuckin’ Father to Ever Grace the Radio With His Fucking Annoying Song….


Related Posts:

Last Year’s America Music Awards Post
Live Bloggin the 2006 VMAs
Live Bloggin’ the Academy Awards
Some Emmy Award Coverage

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Amanda Bynes|American Music Awards|Ashley Tisdale|Avril Lavigne|Beyonce|Fergie|Rihanna|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

16

Nov

I am – Amanda Bynes’ Legs of the Day

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I met a doctor at a coffee shop the other day and he told me that 74% of the population contracts HPV at some point in their life and the chances of me not having HPV are pretty much non existent, without even taking my sexual history into consideration, shit’s just a numbers game. If he knew the shit I’ve stuck my dick inside over the years, he’d probably be telling me all the other shit that I could have, but since I didn’t know the guy, I didn’t bother go into it with him.

He also said that it’s really not a big deal for dudes, and that unless you have a major genital wart outbreak, you probably don’t know you have it, and girls are the ones who have to worry because a small percentage get vagina cancer and the cure to vagina cancer is taking out their lady parts making them incapable of having kids then he threw up his hand for a high five, I guess thinking that not being able to knock up a bitch is awesome.

That said, Amanda Bynes probably has HPV and if she doesn’t I know a pretty easy way to make those dreams come true. Come on baby, join the masses, you know no one wants to be the freak slotted into the 26% minority filled with virgins…Getting busy means getting trendy.


Related Posts:

Amanda Bynes at the Fredrick’s of Hollywood Fashion Show
Amanda Bynes Has Big Ol’ Nipples
Amanda Bynes Does the Zellwgger Face
Amanda Bynes was 21

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Legs|Skirt|Unsorted

2007

25

Oct

I am – Slutty Celebrities at the Fredrick's of Hollywood's Fashion Show of the Day

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I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.

Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.

Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.

Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….

Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….

Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….

Amanda Bynes was there showing off her legs


Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa’s Lingerie Calendar
Vanessa Hudgens Self Shot Amateur Pictures
Dita Von Teese Strip Show Picture

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Dita Von Teese|Fashion Show|Fredrick's of Hollywood|Jessica Simpson|Kristen Bell|Lingerie|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

25

Oct

I am – Slutty Celebrities at the Fredrick’s of Hollywood’s Fashion Show of the Day

fredricks_top.jpg

I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.

Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.

Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.

Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….

Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….

Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….

Amanda Bynes was there showing off her legs


Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa’s Lingerie Calendar
Vanessa Hudgens Self Shot Amateur Pictures
Dita Von Teese Strip Show Picture

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Dita Von Teese|Fashion Show|Fredrick's of Hollywood|Jessica Simpson|Kristen Bell|Lingerie|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes’ Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar� Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan� way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes' Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar” Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan” way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

09

Apr

I am – Amanda Bynes is 21 of the Day

amanda_bynes_birthday3.jpg

I am all about underage girls and now Amanda Bynes is no longer one. I used to like to go to clubs and spot the underage chicks, buy them a lot of drinks because they can’t handle their alcohol and take them home with me while they experienced the drunkest drunk they ever felt in their inexperienced drinking career, where I’d proceed to romance them by peeing on them while they slept. The police were only called a few times and I only had a few knocks on my door and when questioned I would tell them that I met her in the club, and didn’t realize that it was my job to card them before peeing on their drunk faces. I’d pass the blame on the bar and poor parenting, because what kind of parent lets their underage kids go out drinking, other than Lohan’s mom, who isn’t really a mom, but more of a Madame at a brothel trying to make her cut, where the parent’s I had to deal with were genuinely concerned with out of control daughters, but the point of all this is to say that Amanda Bynes has been out of statutory rape days for a few years, but still reminds me of my golden years.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Unsorted