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Archive for the Ashlee Simpson Category

2010

08

Nov

Ashlee Simpson Has No Ass in Jeans of the Day

I don’t know where Ashlee Simpson left her ass, but I know it’s not in her pants. Maybe Jessica ate it when her team of chefs couldn’t make her a pulled pork sandwich at 4 am…cuz there were no 24 hour grocery stores around…but more importantly because they were ignoring her calls due to extreme exhaustion from all the work she’s been putting them through with her emotional eating that she’s embraced as part of who she is lately…It’s just not humanly possible to keep up with those kinds of demands….

The good news for Jessica is that country music chicks from Texas are allowed to be fat…instead of starving herself for the LA scene and the general public she turned her back on cuz we expect her to be the busty hot chick we used to jerk off to…country fans are more loyal, less superficial, and used to obesity…if you’ve ever been to Wal Mart in a Texan suburb, you’ll get what I’m saying….

The bad news for her is that she has to buy two seats on the plane when she travels commercial….

The good news for Ashlee is that genetics haven’t bogged her down and blown her up into a fucking big and she doesn’t have to drop the “baby weight” excuse every bitch uses….But the bad news for her is that she looks like a dude from behind…especially with the new haircut…which is great news for her husband Pete “Fall Out Boy” Wentz, you know cuz he’s gay and I guess that makes him the winner in all this.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

03

Nov

Decades of Denim Event I Wasn’t Invited To Brought Out Some Winners of the Day

There was an event that brought out some real huge celebrities….you know the kind of event that if the Taliban knew was goin’ on…they’d fly a fucking plane into the shit…you know cuz the world would not be able to function without these key players…they are combined as useless as the time you bought condoms before your Cancun springbreak trip, thinking you’d totally get laid cuz everyone there does, you know that finally your luck would turn around thanks to drug and booze fueled insanity…but unfortuantely, that wasn’t the fuckin’ case…however it was 10 years ago and you still have that unopened box of condoms cuz you’re not just a loser on Springbreak homeboy…

Cheryl Tiegs See Through of the Day

Ashlee Simpson was there lookin’ awkward

Cassie Scerbo showed off some tit…No, I’ve never heard of Cassie Scerbo either, but she has cleavage and that balances out staring at those pics of Ashlee Simpson…

Eliza Bennett had a bit of a see through…No, I’ve never heard of Eliza Bennett before…but whatever…

The only bitch worth noticing was Rose McGowan, but I’m biased, I always think she’s lookin’ hot…and that alone makes her very very fucking useful….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Cassie Scerbo|Cheryl Tiegs|Eliza Bennett|Gillian Jacobs|Rose McGowan

2010

08

Sep

Ashlee Simpson’s Legs in a See Through of the Day

Ashlee Simpson is doing a hell of a lot better than her fat as fuck sister…I like to think this is a good old case of sabotage. You know after years of being on the back burner in the family, doing what Jessica wanted, spending birthdays and Christmas where Jessica happened to be performing, pretty much putting everyone’s life on hold for Jessica….only to decide to launch her own career, that was a fucking disaster, because no one told her that just cuz your sister is liked, wanted and famous, doesn’t mean you will be…pretty humiliating herself and making her resent and hate Jessica even more….You know, secretly happy when Jessica’s marriage failed, and when Jessica couldn’t land a man, or keep a man to have a family with…realizing how rewarding it was when Jessica finally got what she fucking deserved….and Ashlee came out as the fucking winner, with a happy marriage to a faggot, a baby, money and a good life….that Jessica just can’t get. Finally, something Ashlee is good at. Finally the prize in the family….

I can only assume that Ashlee is partially responsible for this, you know melting a stick of butter in Jessica’s protein shakes, or having eating competitions with her to get the ball rolling, only to puke secretly, leaving Jessica to blow the fuck up…It is the only explanation for Jessica Simpson’s new fat and horrible body ….


Here are some pictures of her rocking out at the US Open Cuz It’s Good To Be Her Now That She’s the Prize of the Family Even Though She’s Retarded
GO

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

30

Aug

Ashlee Simpson’s Barely Used Ass and Legs of the Day

Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson walking chin first in some ridiculous heels, cuz everyone knows ridiculous heels make your mom legs and mom ass look a lot fucking better, even if your mom legs and mom ass are hardly used, since the man you got knocked up by is a total faggot who only likes when he is the one things are being inserted into…

She’s still come a long way from being the lip syncing joke trying to make a name for herself, stuck in her sister’s shadow, but I like to think her sister’s over-eating ha s a lot to do with that…

Either way, legs are legs, and the fact this pussy is practically virgin, despite having had a kid pass through it, not only confuses me, cuz mom pussy by default is supposed to be haggard pussy, but kinda turns me on….

So as long as she keeps up this chin first whore strut, I’m down to watch.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

02

Aug

Ashlee Simpson on All Fours on the Beach of the Day

Ashlee Simpson and her gay married wife Pete Wentz brought their Gaybies to the beach for some photoshoot for out magazine, showing the world that Gay people can have babies that grow up to be normal thru good parenting, and that Ashlee Simpson is seriously craving cock, cuz I know any bitch crawling around all fours is eager to get a serious dicking, especially when her husband is a homosexual who doesn’t fuck her….and here are the barely exciting pics….

I figure the only way to make this Simpson post complete is to include some pictures of Jessica Simpson trying to have what her little sister who was always in her shadow has with some guy who is trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s banging Jessica Simpson, cuz everyone knows banging Jessica Simpson, no matter how fat she gets is amazing and makes good financial sense….

I am not sure why she looks so sad in these pictures, but I can only assume it has something to do with this new boyfriend/user eating the last donut…

Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

18

Jun

Ashlee Simpson Reminds Jessica Simpson That She Sucks of the Day

Not only has Ashlee Simpson landed a man…or what is marketed as a man…but she’s also got married, had kids, relaunched her career, but most importantly…is not a fat slob eating away her sadness from how life has wronged her with her gay Yoko Ono trying to force feed the donuts down her throat so that he gets all the glory…Take that Jessica Simpson…Remember when Ashlee was the latch on sister who felt insignificant in your shadow. Revenge is Bittersweet…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

07

Apr

Ashlee Simpson Shows Off her Useless Mom Legs of the Day

You know it is a boring day when I post pictures of Ashlee Simpson’s legs in pantyhose like shit is hot…a seriously boring fucking day….

The only thing partially hot about this girl is that she let a dude cum inside her, but when you remember it is Pete Wentz’s cum, it kinda ruins the excitement….and really most girls let guys cum inside them anyway, it’s one of those things that you find in nature and instinctively we do…and just because most girl’s I’ve fucked without a condom yelled at me everytime I did it on purpose but pretended was accidental, doesn’t mean there aren’t girls out there begging for loads to be dropped inside them to make them feel loved or some shit…and then there’s the whole baby has ripped that pussy apart shit…and her fucking busted up face that gives Jessica Simpson low self esteem because she can’t land a man but her baby sister can, not that Pete Wentz is a man, but you get what I am saying….

Here are the miserable pics….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Mom Legs

2010

01

Apr

Ashlee Simpson Shows Off her Legs to Distract from her Face of the Day

I have never been turned on by Ashlee Simpson. The only good thing about her was that that she was the ugly sister and ugly sisters try harder to make you cum than the hotter sister or even the average girl because they’ve got a complex and spent their lives feeling second rate and second rate always picks up the slack for being the ugly sister by servicing men better if they aren’t the kind of second rate that kills themselves cuz they can’t deal with being second rate…..I figured the only guys she’d get would be no names trying to get close to Jessica Simpson, but she proved me wrong by marrying and getting knocked up by some homosexual possibly because Jessica Simpson turned fat and battered looking, making the calls to Ashlee Simpson totally die down…or maybe she just wanted a guy she could share her clothes with…and I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that she knows to show off her thin legs, to distract us from her face and to find female escort that is even uglier than her to make her look less ugly….and that effort shouldn’t go unnoticed….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Legs|Ugly

2010

23

Feb

Some Ashlee Simpson Leg in Pantyhose of the Day

Ashlee Simpson was spotted pantsless in public. It can only be assumed that she’s not wearing pants because her husband is a queer and she craves any male attention she can get, figuring that if she’s not wearing pants, people will look at her like they want to fuck her, something she’s not used to since it’s been excuse after excuse after she got pregnant, as Wentz was eager to impregnate her when he was using her as a vessel for his ego to leave a legacy behind in this world, and all that ended once he succeeded because he could go back to fucking boys…..or maybe she’s just airing out he mom pussy cuz since it’s been stretched the fuck out, it gets clammy and uncomfortable when you try to stuff it into woman’s underwear….and what it really comes down to is who the fuck cares and what the fuck do I know about Ashlee Simpson pantless, I just know it’s a hell of a lot better than Pete Wentz pantsless at the gay bar you walked into cuz you didn’t know it was a gay bar and stayed because you really needed a drink.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Leg