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Archive for the Ashlee Simpson Category

2010

23

Feb

Some Ashlee Simpson Leg in Pantyhose of the Day

Ashlee Simpson was spotted pantsless in public. It can only be assumed that she’s not wearing pants because her husband is a queer and she craves any male attention she can get, figuring that if she’s not wearing pants, people will look at her like they want to fuck her, something she’s not used to since it’s been excuse after excuse after she got pregnant, as Wentz was eager to impregnate her when he was using her as a vessel for his ego to leave a legacy behind in this world, and all that ended once he succeeded because he could go back to fucking boys…..or maybe she’s just airing out he mom pussy cuz since it’s been stretched the fuck out, it gets clammy and uncomfortable when you try to stuff it into woman’s underwear….and what it really comes down to is who the fuck cares and what the fuck do I know about Ashlee Simpson pantless, I just know it’s a hell of a lot better than Pete Wentz pantsless at the gay bar you walked into cuz you didn’t know it was a gay bar and stayed because you really needed a drink.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Leg

2010

19

Feb

Ashlee Simpson’s Mom Ass Feeds the Meter of the Day

I guess it was a slow day in celebrity sluts being sluts because everywhere I look I see these Ashlee Simpson’s mom ass in tight jeans feeding the meter and I don’t fucking get it. Maybe people are into the way the pants hug her cunt, or maybe they like that she looks like she’s wearing a wig cuz they have a bald girl fetish cuz bald girls are always fun to cum all over, or maybe they like the leader of the suburban mall emo girl even though suburban mall emo girls are fucking annoying even when they suck your dick with their pierced tongue, or maybe they like knowing a baby has passed through this young body proving that she fucks, or that her she has a hot sister and faggot husband, or they like flat ass or maybe they just miss her recording career she thought she could pull off cuz her sister did. I just know they bore me….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Ass|Meter|Pussy Huggin'

2010

06

Jan

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are Idiots of the Day

I don’t give a fuck that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are trying to mess with the paparazzi by running around in stupid masks, it really only annoys me because I know that they probably think this is the funniest prank in the world.You know like an asshole who laughs at his own bad joke until you want to rip his fucking throat out.

They’ve done it before when Pete Wentz used his bagel as a cell phone and when He made a mask out of a paper plate and she’s just the cunt who humors him and finds him so funny and creative enabling this kind of behavior even though it is all just him masking his homosexuality.

I don’t know why I just posted on these idiots, let’s not bother lookin’ into it and instead, we’ll just move on….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Idiots|Pete Wentz

2009

12

Nov

Ashlee Simpson in her Bikini on Melrose Place of the Day

Ashlee Simpson is on a TV show. I am telling you this because I don’t expect the average person to know this show exists, mainly because it is shit but also because bringing back garbage from our past is a stupid idea. I hate that these people try to put a new twist on the shi I hated 15 years ago, it is pretty fucking annoying and bottom feeding because Hollywood has no more ideas and the biggest joke in the whole thing is that they gave Ashlee Simpson acting work and by acting work, I mean a bikini scene with some other whore named Stephanie Jacobsen, and despite my hate for Ashlee Simpson and her family, I can still appreciate her young tight mom body that makes next to no biological sense mainly because we don’t have a good view of the ravaged wound in her bikini bottoms…not that biology is my area of expertise, since like Ashlee Simpson, I have no skills, but in my defence, I don’t pretend I do.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Bikini

2009

22

Oct

Ashlee Simpson Shows Off her Mom Ass of the Day

Ashlee Simpson proves that you can bounce back after getting knocked up when you are under 25, with a bi-sexual weirdo who won’t fuck you ever again now that he’s reproduced once and got that job done and got what he wanted, allowing him to stick to sticking it to boys the way his weird bi-sexual ass likes.

I guess her faster metabolism plays a part in getting her body skinny enough to want to fuck, but I lik to think it is just a combination of not eating and working out, that stems from the insecurity that a woman gets when the man they marry won’t fuck them after having his baby,making her think she’s disgusting and not good enough and trying to be proactive about it instead of killing herself over it or realizing it is really it is all because he just likes dick better that a ravaged pussy he saw throw up a baby.

Either way, I like to think a skinny Ashlee Simpson is some of Pete Wentz’s best work yet.

pics via INFphoto

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Ass|Shopping

2009

14

Oct

Ashlee Simpson’s Bra on Melrose Place of the Day

Here is the opening scene from Melrose Place a show I will never watch and the most exciting thing isn’t that her name in the credits is hyphenated, but that she’s getting a doctor exam in a nice push-up bra and her tits look pretty nice, maybe because of baby making, or possible genetics, but I guess I shouldn’t be analyzing it, and enjoying it, but it’s hard man, Ashlee Simpson and her bi-sexual relationship annoy me. I shouldn’t be so sensitive, seriously, there are tits and that should make it all okay..

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Dating

2009

24

Sep

Ashlee Simpson Showing Off Her Skinny Body of the Day

Ashlee Simpson’s back on the scene and she’s looking pretty fucking skinng and I guess the only real damage from making a deal with the devil in order to have the love of her life, a homosexual singer named Pete Wentz, knock her up is that she’s slowly turning into a bird, that or her nosejob nose is just more pronounced now that she’s stopped eating, one of the many tricks she’s busted out in hopes of seducing Wentz because he constantly turns her down when she comes on to him and always needs to come up with a solid excuse to lower her self esteem enough so that she stops putting him in that awkward position. You know, in the beginning it was that her nose was too big, so she developed a complex and got it fixed, then it was that she was pregnant from turning his gay-sex condoms inside out and fucking herself with them to lock him in, so she gave birth, than it was that she was too fat and disgusting since the baby, so she starved herself and started working out, and even that wasn’t good enough to get him hard, so while he’s at home thinking of his next excuse to turn down sex, she’s out wearing revealing clothes to get some male attention…any male attention because she is so deprived at home.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Skinny

2009

04

Sep

Ashlee Simpson in Some Leather Pants of the Day

Marrying and Emo bi sexual dude turned this bitch into some kind of monster, but I guess if you were her, you wouldn’t want to look like Ashlee Simpson either, so she’s really doing herself a favor by doin’ this whole vampire shit. She looks fuckin’ skinny, she looks haggard and you would be too if you married a homo who wouldn’t fuck you ever and just used you as a vehicle to birth his devil child or some shit. I don’t really care and either do you, so why am I even writing this, I should just throw up the pictures, like Ashlee Simpson throws up her dinner every night.

Bonus – Here She Is In Showing Off Her Little Vampire TITS..

Pics VIa FAME and INFphoto

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Leather|Pants

2009

24

Aug

Skinny Ashlee Simpson in a Tube Dress Getting Felt Up By a Chick of the Day

The good thing about girls getting knocked up when they are young is that they bounce back a hell of a lot better than my wife did. I guess it could have something to do with the fact that these bitches have hired help to pretty much do every single thing in the house and for the kid while they just sit around talking about her husbands homosexuality or whatever the fuck they talk about and here she is making an appearace because I guess she’s ready to work again.

I was never a huge Ashlee Simpson fan, if anything she was the awkward, ugly talentless sister I’d want to fuck to get to the hotter older sister and I am definitely not a fan of her showing off the panties Pete Wentz wore the night they got pregnant, or even the vagina Pete Wentz had to artificially inseminate in the bathroom with a turkey baster and his boytoy’s mouth full of his cum keeping it room temperature so the sperm don’t die, but I will say she looks pretty much better than ever, thanks to 3 years of being with a fag who won’t fuck her but will stand next to the treadmill encouraging her to become hot, because straight boys are his favorite kind of boy to fuck…..if you know what I mean…

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Skinny|Tits

2009

08

Jul

Ashlee Simpson’s Mom Pussy of the Day

I always respect young mothers, not because raising kids at a young age is hard, especially when you have nannies and staff lined up to do all the work for your lazy spoiled brat ass, but because their bodies bounce back into pre-baby bodies a lot quicker than older poorer mothers, not that Ashlee Simpson was ever really known for having a body, but I am using her as bad example and really all I care about is before and after picture of her pussy to see if shit bounced back as well as the rest of her did.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Mom|Pussy

2009

02

Mar

Ashlee Simpson Getting Taken From Behind of the Day

Remember when Ashlee Simpson was hot? Or right..She was never hot. Here she is showing off the only position she actually knows and that’s being taken from behind. I have a feeling it’s got a lot to do with her having a broken down face, but probably has something to do with her husband’s emo bisexuality and love for all things that aren’t a vagina. I hear she got pregnant because she cum-farted in her skull and cross bone underwear and some of the shrapnel sneaked into her cunt and clawed onto the walls of her uterus like Pete Wentz’s music clawed onto pop culture and never went the fuck away.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Slut

2008

21

Nov

Ashlee Simpson Names Her Baby Something Stupid of the Day

Bronx Mowgli Wentz. I call brown skinned people Mowgli when I am in bars drunk and they annoy me when I’m trying to move in and get a drink, you know like “Hey, Mowgli, you’re not perched on your tree, make a fucking move” and the shit usually ends badly, with me called a racist and them trying to fight me with their Jungle moves, while I’m trying to explain that someone told me their name was Mowgli, you know diverting the attention to some other drunk guy, before slipping away, because I don’t like getting in fights, especially not by someone raised by fucking wolves….Either way, it some artistic statement of some bi-sexual guy who takes himself too seriously, and I think it’s appropriate since their relationship is just as big of a joke as the name they chose for their kid.

I guess that makes Jessica Simpson a crazed, jealous aunt, so her uterus will be out on the prowl pretty fucking soon, when she sees her dad’s attention diverted from her to her sister, the only upsetting news for Joe was that Ashlee didn’t have a girl, because he’s way more into touching and exploiting little girls than boys, so it’s safe to say, Jessica’s been givin’ the task to make her daddy some new talent…….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Baby

2008

04

Sep

Ashlee Simpson and Grimace Were Separated at Birth of the Day

McDonald’s has ruined many people’s lives by jacking them up with shitty processed high calorie food that has caused premature death and obesity related diseases, but to make things worse, they have also alienated any of the obese people they have made from wearing purple because shit just makes them look like Grimace and leads to lots of pointing and laughing and making little kids cry.

Here are some pictures of Ashlee Simpson in a purple outfit lookin’ like her and Grimace are cut from the same cloth, but purple doesn’t make a monster, being Ashlee Simspon does. So as she peddles her low quality garbage clothing line at low income clothing stores scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel, she can swing by McDonald’s to see how her old friends at McDonaldland are holding up since she left them many years ago, I hear Ronald’s a convicted pedophile and Hamburglar has changed his name to Hamburgerapist, but neither as bad as this Grimace, who went onto marry a gender bending weirdo who knocked her up and did this to her….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Grimace

2008

08

Jul

Ashlee Simpson’s Got Hard Pregnant Nipples of the Day

I heard when girls get pregnant, their nipples turn dark brown, so it’s safe to say that Ashlee Simpson has herself some African nipples and shit are hard while she’s out shopping with her fat baby filled uterus while Jessica sits at home crying and eating a container of ice cream because no one she wants is willing to knock her up, which is unfortunate because I know I would. Shit’s a pretty solid retirement plan, one better that knocking Ashlee Simpson.

The only mystery in all this is who knocked up this Simpson and why is Pete Wentz taking the blame, because everyone knows he’s scared of vagina, mainly his own.

Here’s some bonus pictures of Ashlee Simpson yesterday dressed like a french painter or someone married to a commerical Emo sexually confused asshole or a sailer at the ragatta lookin’ fat and fat tittied because she’s pregnant and not because she’s wearing horizontal stripes. See, I know fashion.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Hard Nipples|Pregnant Nipples

2008

02

Jul

Ashlee Simpson Pregnancy Tits of the Day

I am guessing that Ashlee Simpson got pregnant via artifical insemination or some kind of sperm donor or cock she was getting on the side, because last I heard, Pete Wentz had a vagina and lesbian relationships can’t make their own babies.

Further proof that she’s a lesbian is that her tits look sloppy, her stomach looks fat and those are pretty much two things that describe all the lesbians I know. Throw on a flannel shirt and a pair of construction boots and cut off her long luxurious orange hair asymetrical and she’ll be pretty much in dyke business. The only problem with Ashlee, proven by her career is that she’s in a constant identity crisis trying to pave her own way in her sister’s shadow, so it’d be expected that getting down to business would take her longer than the average lesbian because she is a loser and just doesn’t know what’s up.

At least we know that we can look forward to their next pregnancy, when Wentz’s jealously makes him decide that it’s his turn to be the mom and we get to see motherfucker on Oprah talking about being the second man to get pregnant because he’s actually got a uterus instead of balls and stopped hormone therapy because he couldn’t handle watching the connection Ashlee had to her baby as she breast fed and his maternal instinct kicked in and he figured it was time to stop living the lie and do what nature had originally planned out for him….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Pregnancy|Tits