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Archive for the Ashley Olsen Category

2012

21

May

Ashley Olsen Bikini Pics of the Day

I never cared for the Olsen twins in a sexual fantasy kind of way. I was one of those guys who agreed with people when they said the Olsen twins were at their hottest in Full House…not because I am a pedo who likes 3 year olds…but because they hadn’t grown into obscure looking creatures from the same uterus….Sure I always liked their skinny and I always like that Ashley was better looking and well put together while the other looked tormented and like death…my favorite part of twins is always thee insecure one….but I just could never really get into it….but now that Ashley Olsen got into a bikini, showed off a decent looking ass with no cellulite, I figure I could easily be into K-Fed-ing her…and if you saw the kind of trash I stick my dick in….you’d understand why…. weird alien ass.


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF ALIEN ASS
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Posted in:Ashley Olsen

2011

27

Apr

Ashley Olsen Thick Hips of the Day

Never fucked with that Olsen Twin fetish…didn’t think they were hot…even if I thought the jokes about jerking off to them since they were on Full House jokes were funny…but do like that they are so abused by their fame that they look like they are scared of the world….it’s on some Michael Jackson kick…that makes me feel less gay about getting hard while lookin’ at pics of the shit…you know like some predator in the savanah after some Gazelle lost his herd while looking for a watering whole….not that the Olsens or Michael Jackson ever got me hard, especially now that he’s dead and she’s grown some wide hips that I can only blame winning the eating disorder battle and an alien face and no twin by her side to make their average look combined into something worth noticing, maybe cuz I’ve alway been more motivated by looks than finances…..who cares….it’s a fucking Olsen twin…I think the general public got over it when she turned 18.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen

2010

06

Apr

Ashley Olsen Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

Remember when the Olsen twins were all the fucking rage. It was like every teenage girl idolized these girls and thought they were the hottest, most interesting person in the world. I am not sure if it was their fashion sense or the fact they made hundreds of millions of dollars with shitty quality kids movies, or maybe that the world had a twin fetish, because fucking two of the same girl at the same time is hot enough to neglect what the pussy actually looks like, you know it’s one of those “Bucket List” things you have to make sacrifices to make happen, and decent twins became hot and half retarded siamese twins became good enough because our choices were limited…..But I am sure that they definitely don’t have it going on anymore, not that they ever did, but I’m hoping the rest of the public see that and least based on these pictures and I can’t imagine any stupid teen girl, or treasure troll fan idolizing them anymore and as far as I am concerned the Olsen Twin fetish is done…

Here is Ashley Olsen making her way out of hibernating the last few years to show off some pretty boring leg.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Leg

2010

05

Jan

Ashley Olsen’s Hipster Jog of the Day

I hate hipsters. I thought that shit would have died by now but for some reason it’s just become mainstream even though the idiot hipsters still think they are part of an exclusive group despite being part of the idiot masses. Something I thought was the total opposite of being a hipster so I get confused when I see a huge mass of jaded, cynical, indy people because I used to think “indy” or whatever it is that hipsters stand for besides no washing, pretending to be artists and cooler than fucking cool while dressing like they don’t have a trust fund….and you can partially blame the Olsen Twins and their “Hobo” chic back when they were the fashion icons they were labeled by the media despite lookin’ like Michael Jackson’s love child with a Treasure Troll and here she is taking her cause to another level while jogging and not missin’ a fucking beat from her marriage to leggings and ripped ratty flannel. What a fucking joke.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Hipster|Jog

2008

25

Nov

Ashley Olsen Yells at the Paparazzi of the Day

So Ashley Olsen went to Hermes to buy herself some luxury items. I walked into a Hermes store once, because I was drunk and thought it was called Herpes not Hermes and I needed to see what kind of shit they sell in a store called Herpes.

The sales staff weren’t too into me or my look and indirectly asked me to leave after I asked them how much Herpes go for. Then I saw a line of saddles on the wall and asked them if the saddles come with herpes or if they are made out of herpes. Then there was a line of ties and scarves that were all decorative and shit and I asked if the pattern was representing an outbreak or if the guy who made them had herpes. I was trying really hard to find the common thread in why a store called herpes was selling this expensive shit, was it because herpes is a white collar STD, or maybe one for executives and rich people because rich people don’t use condoms. I couldn’t figure it out….

When I started getting cornered by the staff because they caught onto the fact that I was broke, I tried playing the dot com millionaire angle, saying something like my ratty ass jogging pants are worth more than anything in the store, especially more than their 9 dollars an hour plus monthly bonus if they meet the sales objective salary, but they just had security escort me out while I was screaming shit like “I don’t need herpes anyway, you fucking whores”, it was a great fucking scene and when I found out it was actually called Hermes, I realized those sales people probably had no fucking idea what the hell I was talking about and probably kicked me out because they thought their lives were at risk.

Either way, Ashley Olsen throws a funny scene in this video yelling at the paparazzi shit like, “Get off the property, I am trying to close my gate, Get OFF the Property, I swear to god, GET OFF THE PROPERTY”, she’s so assertive, I guess that’s just the attitude you need to run a multi-million dollar company, by letting business managers and your parents exploit you from the age of 2. If anything, this is the equivalent of a brat begging their dad for a pony, since she’s the reason her dad’s not working at the steel plant anymore, so if he knows what’s good for him, he better deliver the fuckin’ goods because rich girls always get what they want and that’s what makes them crazy…

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Yells

2007

09

Aug

I am – Olsen Twins Riding in the Baggage Compartment of the Day

olsencloseupthong.jpg

Jesus is having issues right now, obviously. So you get to suffer through my thoughts/life until his dick/computer is fixed…

I am hauling ass to Brooklyn tonight to bar hop with my friend “Shanna” while she’s in town. Shanna and I made out once in community college, and since you whip it out every time a Girls Gone Wild commercial comes on, here’s how this went down.

We were at a party and our boyfriends ‘dared’ us to kiss like we were 6 and in the sandbox. Now as a hooker, I did one threesome with two guys once, one threesome with me and another hooker once, and was paid to get down and nasty with that same hooker in front of a bunch of suits as some sort of office bonding experience. I don’t get off on sliding around with girls, it’s just a lot of work and I already have the same parts. I also just hated threesomes in general and refused to do either combo again after the first time: two guys is really just homo, two girls gets so competitive.

But back to the story. I agreed to kiss Shanna since she seemed really excited and we had already seen each other naked before, so whatever. But mostly I did it because my ex-boyfriend was there with his new doberman-faced cunt, and all the hype drew a crowd, and he naturally followed. I wanted to make this fucker’s balls turn blue because he dumped my ass for this fat upstate slag that lived in his dorm, so he wouldn’t have to trek a mile to my place in the snow for sex. So I full throttle sexually assaulted Shanna, and we went at it for around 4 minutes, sucking face, grabbing ass, taking off each other’s shirts, cupping each other’s breasts under the bra, giving the audience just a peak, licking, etc.

Afterwards, Shanna and I complimented one another on the suppleness of our tits and lips. Our boyfriends were satisfied. Most importantly, I walked up to the ex and asked if he had enjoyed the show, he kind of stammered and walked away, trying to hide his raging erection. The ex, his hard on, and his bitch left immediately after that. At least I know that when he fucked his slut later, he was thinking about me. I win.

Here is MK and Ashley Olsen at the airport doing what they do best: looking skinny, electrocuted, homeless, and semi see-through. You know the thought of these two getting it on together used to turn you on because the only thing better than girl on girl is twin on twin. But they are doing there best to kill your dreams by looking like they rode in the baggage compartment. Try and masterbate. You can do it. The end.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)


Related Posts

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I am – Marie Kate Olsen Kissing Her Boyfriend of the Day
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I am – Ashley Olsen’s in Her Panties on Vacation of the Day
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Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Homeless|Olsen Twins|See Through|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora's Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora’s Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted

2007

20

Jun

I am – Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt of the Day

ashley.jpg

Here are pictures of Ashley Olsen the other day wearing a see-through dress.

I know these Olsen bitches are considered to be fashion icons. A few years ago when the mainstream rich kids were making the move from designer Italian jean companies to things like “i pay for hair product that makes me look like I don’t wash instead of just not washing”, thrift stores, over-sized glasses and Jewish outfits of the day, trying their best to look busted up and dirty even though they lived in million dollar homes with their parents who drive luxury cars and went to private schools and had allowances and access to the credit card to buy anything they want but chose to buy ratty pieces of shit. Well, I blame the Olsen’s for that.

I guess it’s always been around, you know the whole rich kid trying to pretend he’s not rich by lookin’ poor or the thug from the ghetto jackin’ himself in gold and diamonds and driving luxury cars to look rich. People just aren’t happy being what they are born into. Well I will say that if I was born into a rich house, I’d be wearing Yacht Club and Country Club clothes every fucking day. I am tired of smelling my own ass while typing up posts.

On a side note, I hope this style hits it big so that I can make creepy faces at girls wearing them, it’s kinda what I do, maybe it’s my way of rebelling against being married.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Ass|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

20

Jun

I am – Ashley Olsen's See Through Skirt of the Day

ashley.jpg

Here are pictures of Ashley Olsen the other day wearing a see-through dress.

I know these Olsen bitches are considered to be fashion icons. A few years ago when the mainstream rich kids were making the move from designer Italian jean companies to things like “i pay for hair product that makes me look like I don’t wash instead of just not washing”, thrift stores, over-sized glasses and Jewish outfits of the day, trying their best to look busted up and dirty even though they lived in million dollar homes with their parents who drive luxury cars and went to private schools and had allowances and access to the credit card to buy anything they want but chose to buy ratty pieces of shit. Well, I blame the Olsen’s for that.

I guess it’s always been around, you know the whole rich kid trying to pretend he’s not rich by lookin’ poor or the thug from the ghetto jackin’ himself in gold and diamonds and driving luxury cars to look rich. People just aren’t happy being what they are born into. Well I will say that if I was born into a rich house, I’d be wearing Yacht Club and Country Club clothes every fucking day. I am tired of smelling my own ass while typing up posts.

On a side note, I hope this style hits it big so that I can make creepy faces at girls wearing them, it’s kinda what I do, maybe it’s my way of rebelling against being married.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Ass|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

19

Mar

I am – Ashley Olsen Eating of the Day

ashley_olsen_eatstop.jpg

Here are some pictures of Ashley Olsen eating because I guess we all have to do it sometimes, even when you are rich and have an eating disorder.

I am not entirely happy with my posts today because they are fucking weak, but I think I am doing okay considering I am wasted and typing with one eye open. I am actually more disappointed with the way everyday people are. I saw some drunken fat guy get in some homeless lookin’ dudes face. The homeless lookin’ dude was in 4 pairs of sweat pants and had 2 big pit bull lookin’ dogs. When the fat drunk dude started getting gangster on him, the dog snapped and bit the motherfucker. All the chaos made the other dog turn on the dog that bit the fat drunk cunt. Anyway, I saw the homeless lookin’ dude freaking out, both his dogs were fucked up and he needed money to pay to get them stitched up. Dude could have been full of shit and on a crack run, but I dug into my pockets and gave him 10 dollars in change that I had set aside to get drunk with. Some corporate young executive piece of shit who probably had a nice job and a nice car and a girlfriend he takes skiing decided to lecture the homeless lookin’ dude for being a bum and shit like he’s a fucking evangelist or some shit and he’s a better fucking citizen….

I guess where I am going with this is that I am a fucking hero and I am poor, and dudes with money are cocksuckers and if that theory holds true, then Ashley Olsen is a cocksucker too, and I fucking love girls who suck dick, cuz it makes them look like little porno sluts and that’s kinda what I look for in the company I keep….

I went through a phase a long time ago where I would jerk off to girls doing everyday things. One of those things was eating – so if you’re as craft as I used to be in my jerking off, these pics are for you.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Unsorted

2007

14

Mar

I am – Ashley Olsen's Bra of the Day

ashley_olsen_bratop.jpg

People give these girls way too much credit. They made such a big deal about their 18th birthday that’s followed them around for the last 3 years since they turned 18. I feel like if you can buy cigarette and lottery tickets, you’re too old to suck my dick. In fact, from all the emails I get, the older girls get, the less inclined they are to suck your dick. I remember hearing stories when I was 15 about how much dick the 15 year old girls would suck at summer camp and other random places, I guess it’s because they weren’t giving up their box and knew the only way to finish off the dude was with their mouth. I was too busy slamming the Albino down the street to really capitalize on that shit, you know with being the immigrant in the school and shit but as they get older, they slowly phase the blowjob out and leave it up to you to bang em. It’s like you never get a chance to fully enjoy head and they never finish you off from the way you want them too. Before you know it their pants are off and they are riding you. In case you haven’t noticed, I am not really talking about you because you are a virgin and don’t have sex. I am not really talking about me either because I can’t get it up, but I am talking about the Olsen’s being past their prime and here is one of them in a bra, or lack there of because her tits are smaller than my dick.

I had to delete the pics because Paparazzi are fucking assholes with deep pockets…

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Unsorted

2007

14

Mar

I am – Ashley Olsen’s Bra of the Day

ashley_olsen_bratop.jpg

People give these girls way too much credit. They made such a big deal about their 18th birthday that’s followed them around for the last 3 years since they turned 18. I feel like if you can buy cigarette and lottery tickets, you’re too old to suck my dick. In fact, from all the emails I get, the older girls get, the less inclined they are to suck your dick. I remember hearing stories when I was 15 about how much dick the 15 year old girls would suck at summer camp and other random places, I guess it’s because they weren’t giving up their box and knew the only way to finish off the dude was with their mouth. I was too busy slamming the Albino down the street to really capitalize on that shit, you know with being the immigrant in the school and shit but as they get older, they slowly phase the blowjob out and leave it up to you to bang em. It’s like you never get a chance to fully enjoy head and they never finish you off from the way you want them too. Before you know it their pants are off and they are riding you. In case you haven’t noticed, I am not really talking about you because you are a virgin and don’t have sex. I am not really talking about me either because I can’t get it up, but I am talking about the Olsen’s being past their prime and here is one of them in a bra, or lack there of because her tits are smaller than my dick.

I had to delete the pics because Paparazzi are fucking assholes with deep pockets…

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Unsorted