So Ashley Tisdale was out performing and trying to be as hot as she can, but unfortunately for her, hot is impossible, unless she’s in the fuckin’ sauna, or on a tropical resort, or being caught in a house fire when a crazed fan torches her shit cuz she won’t answer their fan mail, because no matter how much surgery she gets, she’s still ugly, and here she is performing cuz I know you wish you were the mic, or at least your penis was, because all mouth is good mouth, at least that’s what you tell yourself when you hook up with gay dudes, since they’re always down to suck dick and girls you know aren’t so much, because you’re too scared to talk to them….
Yep, even though Ashley Tisdale’s wearing some dominatrix lookin’ shoes and a little black dress, with her really tall boyfriend, who you’d think has a dick that tears her Disney pussy in half everytime she begs for the shit, and no matter how hard I try to visualize her doing really dirty things, or how hard I try to visualize her doing wholesome things, or how hard I try to visualize her doing standard in the bedroom things because she hasn’t had all that much experience considering she’s fuckin’ busted, and before her parents paid of the Disney producers to land her a job, or pay off the MTV awards to get her an award, or pay off the plastic surgeon to get her a fuckin’nose, she was just an ugly girl, and as far as I’m concerned she still is, cuz I guess you can’t buy beauty, but you can buy bareback blowjobs that end in mouth, or on face, or on tit from this whore who gives 100 dollar birthday specials. True story.
If you read this site, you know I always make fun of Ashley Tisdale because I find her ugly and don’t understand her fame. A while ago, I was doing the Ashley Tisdale ugly watch, where I’d post her latest pics and say reaffirm the fact that she’s still ugly, but that got old pretty fucking fast. So when I came across this video of her doing a sexy dance, or what she thinks is a sexy dance, for some Obama impersonator on some Spanish show, I had no choice but to post it to remind you all that she doesn’t have it goin’ on. To make things worst, she made a fuckin’ request for Lady Gaga just proving that not only is she a beast, she’s the fuckin’ devil…watch the video if you care.
Ashley Tisdale is a size queen, maybe it is because the only thing that makes her feel better about her ugly self is a huge cock in her ass, that’s really the only explanation of why she’s getting with this really tall wonky lookin’ dude, I mean other than the fact that he’s the only guy willing to fuck with her, but I doubt that’s true, I mean with her level of fame there are tons of groupies and opportunists willing to lower their standards and only fuck her from behind so they can maintain an erection and don’t have to see her face at that moment of pleasure or really at any point during the sex….
The whole thing is kinda weird for me, as most tall guy and short girl relationships, because it reminds me of father and daughter pedophile shit only in this case the dad’s not fucking his daughter, he’s taking her to the orphanage because he just can’t stomach lookin at her weird lookin’ face as it is a constant reminder of how inadequate his sperm is and is slowly chipping away at his self esteem.
Either way, Tisdale and I have a pretty one-sided Twitter relationship, but a Twitter relationship nonetheless….
She wrote:
Mtv movie awards today!!!!! Ate breakfast, now getting ready!
So I wrote
@ashleytisdale what is the next plastic surgery you got lined up? A face transplant would do you good-wait til technology gets better tho
She won an award, god knows what went wrong on MTV’s side of things, she was up against Slumdog Millionaire chick, meaning MTV is a fucking joke, but it made her happy and she wrote:
Just had the most amazing experience of my life!! I won breakthrough performance!! Thanks so much!!!! I love my fans, I love you so much
So I wrote
@ashleytisdale you needed borat’s ass in your face to make you look worth fucking, no homo.
She hasn’t answerwed yet, I guess she’s been too buy testing her gag reflex on this dudes’ Tall Man Cock while avoiding coming in contact with mirrors because it’ll take away her high of finally being a winner, even if her dad paid off MTV to make it happen….
No matter how much work this Tisdale chick gets done to herself, she keeps stayin’ ugly. I don’t really understand it but it reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today, when a girl was telling me about her boyfriend’s band that was called The Cockroaches, where I responded “How cute, he named it after you”, only I was just trying to be funny with her, while I actually think that shit applies to Tisdale, because she is a fucking cockroach of a girl who just doesn’t go away, like the cockroaches in my shitty apartment, depsite not really having much purpose in being there, but to just annoy the fuck out of me. Not that I really understand why I have this kind of emotionaly instability when it comes to this bitch, but I do and that concludes the Ashley Tisdale ugly watch of the day.
Even from a distance and half naked Ashley Tisdale’s weak chin and Jewish troll face, despite being nose jobbed, makes me fucking sick.
Call me an anti semite if you want, but Jewish girls generally don’t have it going on, their droppy faces, hook noses, eyes that are too close together, outrageous hair all remind me of rats crawling out of the sewer. I assume that is from years of being inbred.
They are really only saved from the curse, when the dad is smart enough to get a hot non-jew to convert for him because he is rich, you know brining in a new line of genes to save his kids from the hell that is being Jew-Faced, or if the get a lot of plastic surgery done on daddy’s dime, because he’s ashamed of what he’s created….
No offense to my Jewish readers, even though you’ll take offense to it, because you’re a bunch of fuckin’ whiners, and you feel like I’ve just insulted your people, a people you are very proud of, but I haven’t, I’m just speaking truth, so maybe you should just relax, pull out your Jewish high school yearbook and try to prove me wrong.
Bonus – If you like High School Musical, Then You’ll Love This stepTV Video I shot years ago…
This video is fucking amazing. Some paparazzi immigrant is asking ugly Ashley Tisdale her how fun she can be if she is hiding the happenings of life by not being herself.
I guess I should be easier on the paparazzi, sure they are cocksuckers who email me and bother me about how I owe them money for pictures they claim to take of people, without getting the consent of the people they are getting pictures of, but maybe I should just accept that they need to pay the rent and lack the skills needed to make that happen, since they haven’t quite figured out English.
Either way, this is some strange fucking rap of nonsense and it is fucking gold. Another thing that’s gold…Ashley Tisdale hiding her ugly fucking face from the world, because it means she’s insecure, and realizes she’s not hot, and that makes her easier to get naked. And ugly or not, I like naked…
Yep. still ugly. Sure these are probably the best pictures I’ve seen her in. Maybe she’s gone for some off shore plastic surgery, you know the same place you signed up to get the vagina built into your leg so you’d have something to fuck and when you weren’t fucking it, you could tuck your dick into the pouch and have no need for underwear, pretty much saving you money in the long run, you know making your weirdness work for you in this economic crisis.
Or maybe I’m just blinded by having to see my wife naked the last 3 days because she refuses to get dressed and ready for anything that isn’t fat and disgusting, unfortunately for me, no one else is, making my chances of that happening slim to fucking none.
I don’t like that Ashley Tisdale is giving us the sex eyes because she isn’t hot, it is actually pretty fucking offensive. If she really wanted to turn us on, she would have never left the house, or maybe she would have pulled her hair in front of her face like she was Cousin It, or she’d rock a Richard Nixon mask while running around screaming that she’s not a crook naked, or something that could at least let us focus on her vagina for a couple of minuts and forget what it’s attached to.
It’s like the typical ugly chick who doesn’t know she’s ugly because she hangs with girls who are uglier than her and her entourage always tell her how good looking sh eis and ends up living in an imaginary fantasy world, where all the boys want her and not her friends and she develops the self confidence to not kill herself or just embrace the fact that she’s ugly and becoming a comedian, because that’s what ugly people in Hollywood are supposed to do. Playing this sex symbol to 13 year olds is just going to fuck up the system, making boys think this is hot, leading to ugly girls getting boyfriends when they are supposed to stay at home friday nights knitting with their moms a few years down the road or even worse….homosexuality.
On a side note, happy Yom Kippur to Ashley Tisdale and all the Jews out there. The man on the radio just let me know that you all have to fast. Good luck with that and remember it’s a small price to pay for legal, medical and entertainment careers that pay lots of money, so it’s worth the struggle, despite the whining I am sure all your Jew houses are going to hear tonight, you know whimpers about how hungry you are and how light headed you are and how you think you’re going to die if you don’t get a fucking bagel in you, so for that struggle, I’d like to dedicate this post to all of yous jews.
So….she’s still ugly…but that vitiligo shit stain discoloration on her arm is fucking hot, but I just like girls with disorders because they are easier to boss around. Despite popular belief that I hate ugly girls, I actually always defend them by saying they all have at least one nice attribute, whether it is hot tits, or a hot ass, or that they are skinny, or have nice eyes, or a nice pussy, you just have to look a little past the package as a whole. Just the other day I saw an ugly girl on the bus reading a magazine minding her own business and I decided to let her know that despite being ugly, she had great teeth and great teeth can take you a long way. I was pretty offended when she told me to fuck myself, but I guess some ugly girls have an ugly personality to match, or maybe I offended her by letting her know I knew she was ugly, but I figured by leaving the house that day, she already accepted that. So despite Ashley Tisdale’s hot skin disorder, she’s still ugly and that concludes the Ashley Tisday Ugly Watch of the Day.
In case you were concerned, alarmed or still wondering…Ashley Tisdale is still ugly. So you can go on with your day, like Ashley Tisdale goes on with her day, rockin’ her weak chin that makes her look like she’s swallowing her face and her big deviated septum nose that I thought she got sorted out.
It reminds me of this rich girl I used to tease about having a weak chin a few years ago, she would call me fat and disgusting and I’d mock her by sucking my chin in saying letting her know that he dis would be a lot more hurtful if I didn’t know what you looked like and after 6 months of the back and forth, I was still fat and disgusting only a little bit closer to suicide and she went and got a chin implant. Last I heard she’s engaged, pregnant and the owner of a beautiful condo and her career is really taking off and I am still fat and disgusting and a little bit closer to suicide. Yes…It sucks to be me but it sucks harder to be Ashley Tisdale, because I wouldn’t give my chin up for all the money, fame and pussy in the world, it just means too much to me.
Ashley Tisdale is just one of those girls that no matter how hard she tries to look good, she just doesn’t pull it off. Like the time my Albino neighbor put on some self tanning cream, lipstick and a wig and looked like something out of a horror movie and not one of those Hollywood Actresses she was aiming for, or the time this Italian dude who was tired of seeing me down on my luck encouraged me to go out there and do something I’ve always wanted to do and to do it in a nice Italian suit he was selling, I had some extra money at the time and was feeling pretty desperate and he convinced me that this would change my life, so I slicked my hair back, put on the suit he just sold me and walked to my nearest subway station, got on the train and pulled my dick out to both unsuspecting college girls and girls coming home from the office and he was right, it really made a difference in all of our lives and I looked fuckin’ classy being my sleazy self, but was still my sleazy self… or like the Jewish girl I knew got a nose job for a deviated septum, which is Jew code for “I don’t like my nose and want to change it because I am tired of looking like a Jewish monster coming to steal your soul and do your taxes” and that girl was Ashley Tisdale, sure she’s not actually a Jewish girl I know, but close enough considering I live my life vicariously through the internet.
Writing about celebrities I don’t care about everyday is pretty fucking tedious. Before starting this site I was way more self absorbed and would really only worry about what was going on in my everyday life and wouldn’t really pay any attention to what rich and glamorous girl who I didn’t find half as hot as some of the girls giving me lapdances, was in a bikini, but unfortunately this is the life I chose and the course I took and I am so on top of shit that when Ugly Jewish Girl who is actually almost 30 but pretends she’s closer to 20 to get roles of the day get haircuts, I notice.
I never thought I’d spend my day trying to say clever things about some of the most uninspiring things out there, but I guess it’s better than my last job packin’ boxes at a food processing plant that I got fired from for being drunk. Sure the money’s not as good, but I have no one to tell me that I am not allowed to drop my pants, drink my booze and smoke my cigars. It’s almost as amazing as the fact that people actually find Ashley Tisdale someone hot and worth jerking off to, I can only assume have lowered their standards because they think she’s actually a real life highschool girl and not just a slut pretending to be one, because in my experience older guys always lower their standards when they find a teenager willing to fuck them, because there is no other reason for anyone calling this piece hot.
Here she is wearing a period shirt so that it doesn’t stain when shit splashes up when she’s peeing.
Here she is in some crazy pants….before the Haircut….
I get a lot of hate mail because I rip on Jewish Girls for having droopy dog faces due to generations of inbreeding to strengthen the community. I may do it to get a rise of the industry people who read this site and who I know are Jewish because everyone in Hollywood is, but I think it’s because Jewish girls are actually droopy dog faced monsters that scare me. Nose jobs, designer clothes, hair and make-up or not, they still have the ability to inspire Jewish men to marry gentiles. All while the poor fuckers who accidentally marry Jewish Dog Faced monsters to keep their families happy and secure their inheritance are keeping escort agencies, full service stripclubs, massage parlors in business. I guess it’s to feel what sex with a real girl who doesn’t chronically complain is like again. I could be wrong, sure Jewish girls give great head when they are trying to lasso their man, and that’s enough to look past a few birth defects, but doesn’t negate the fact that there are birth defects.
Either way, the evidence to back my point for today is Ashley Tisdale.
I think Ed Hardy is the cheesiest fucking shit to hit the clothing stores in the last few years. I am talking worse than that overpriced Von Dutch shit that I remember seeing kids wear a few years ago and who paid something like 100 dollars for a $5 trucker hat all because it had some faggot color and brand name and now all those cheesy fucks who used to wear that Von Dutch trash because they thought it was classy cuz it was expensive are rocking this Ed Hardy shit that sell t-shirts for 300 dollars and that put that most retarded fucking shit on their shirts to justify the price. The designer’s like “we’ll put studs and diamond and gold and fuckin’ obnoxious designs and make the most expensive fucking t-shirt in the fucking store and people will eat it up because they are fucking idiots and think that just because it’s expensive, it’s cool”. Now, I don’t know shit about fashion, but I do know a lot about cha chi motherfuckers who just left the gym an hour before hitting the clubs so that they look jacked and I do know that they fucking annoy me, despite landing all the hot party chicks, but because they are just fuckin dumber than the shit my wife left smeared on the toilet seat.
The other day I was sitting at a coffee shop and some dude rolled through in a pick-up truck that had been spray painted with Ed Hardy stupidity and dude got out in a full Ed Hardy outfit, I’m talking hat, shirt, jeans, shoes, and he was the most colorful motherfucker in the place, and his loyalty to a shitty brand was pretty fuckin’ intense, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a fuckin’ asshole, in fact it was like a billboard announcing that motherfucker was a total asshole.
I guess it’s safe to say that Ashley Tisdale has been blinded by Disney’s iron fist and doesn’t have a clue as to what’s up, and maybe that’s why she’s rockin’ the shit, since Ed Hardy’s big marketing strategy is to get celebs in the shit so all the copycats who buy bottles because they think they are celebs buy the shit and I can only assume that these pictures of her in Ed Hardy will sell some bikinis to some 14 year old girls who are future party sluts in trianing. Happy 4th of July.
