I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Bai Ling Category

2009

22

Jul

Bai Ling Showin’ Off Skin of the Day

The beauty of Asian women is that I can never tell how old they are. I know Bai Ling’s been around longer than I’ve been doing the site and that she is likely in her mid to late 40s, but for some reason she doesn’t look like she’s aged a fuckin’ day since I started this shit. Her body is still tight, her nipples still long, and I assume her pussy still as tight as the sweatshop owner she used to work for who I know claimed it was when she was 12 and a good sport about getting paid with rape. I don’t actually know a sweatshop owner, i guess it’s just a sick fantasy of mine that I live out everytime I try to speak binary code to the chinese girls I meet, you know bust out my calculator and type in series of 0s and 1s, cuz I read that’s what robots understand, hoping one of them will let me play with their ageless vaginas, but they find me offensive and he police don’t usually buy my “I thought she was a councillor” when I get caught buying one I met in daycamp ice cream….

Pics via FAME PICTURES

Posted in:Bai Ling|Clothes

2009

08

May

Bai Ling and her Halter Top of the Day

I still haven’t figured out what Bai Ling does, but whatever it is, she’s doing it right or at least better than me, which isn’t saying much because the only claim to fame I have isn’t really a claim to fame, but I did go to a bar last night and got 5 beers and a shot of vodka for 9 dollars and I didn’t want to leave, I tried my best to move the fuck in at the end of the night but when I refused to leave they had some toothless bouncer drag me out. Goodtimes. But not as good as Bai Ling’s life that confuses me.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Halter Top|Miniskirt

2009

17

Apr

Bai Ling Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

Who the fuck is Bai Ling and why is her life better than all of ours? Most Chinese imports I meet are into gaming and computers and talking in binary code when they aren’t working at their parent’s convenience stores, restaurants or dry cleaners. They don’t end up at red carpet events with their tits hanging out, I mean unless you count that one girl, but it wasn’t really a red carpet event, it was a rub a tug massage parlor….but there was music playing in the background…and I like to think every time I get jerked off for 20 dollars is a star studded event.

Posted in:Bai Ling|cleavage

2009

12

Mar

Bai Ling Borrowed Paris Hilton’s Bra of the Day

I just used all I had for these pictures on the title. This is a disaster, I mean I don’t get who this bitch or what she does, so what would I really have to say about her, that she’s got pretty big cleavage for a fucking asian, I guess I could do that, but it’s better to imagine her useless tits being in the same piece of clothing as Paris’ useless tits, like some kind of bra sharing fetish because there’s nothing wrong with fetishes, if anything it makes these two whores less useless. My dog’s making out with me, and standing on my computer,making it hard to finish up…

Posted in:Bai Ling|cleavage|Tits

2009

23

Feb

Three Irrelevant Sluts of the Day

I had these three posts lined up and when looking at the pictures I realized I had nothing interesting to say about these sluts, because they are all pretty fucking irrelevant. One is some Chinese rich kid who has been in Playboy and has managed to have nipple slips at every single event she’s attended and I never really understood why she was even attending the events in the first place.

The other is a washed up child star who is pretending to be a lesbian while addicted to coke, delusional and looking more and more like she’s about to die as the days go on, but her tits manage to stay the same size because I guess they were right all along and she’s got implants, because it really is the only explanation. She’s been in two movies the last 3 years, her career is almost over and I guess she got a sympathy invite to some Oscar party because she’s still got celebrity, despite really only deserving AIDS.

The last is some Aussie with great tits, who has hard nipples, but who can’t be acknowledged as someone I want to fuck because she was engaged to a Good Charlotte brother because I guess in Australia, they were stars and she was a groupie even he didn’t respect enough to not cheat on. Meaning that she wasn’t even good enough for him and lets face it, he’s not really good enough for any vagina, not even fat chick vagina, that said, I’d still fuck her, but I would never respect her and I guess either will Hollywood because I haven’t seen her in anything worth seeing recently, may be a good time to head back to the Outback…but she did have a date with Russell Simmons this past weekend, so who knows…maybe I am wrong about this one…

And here are their pictures, because I am lazy and not gonna let good cropping and uploading go to fucking waste. Enjoy.

Sophie Monk….

Lindsay Lohan….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Irrelevant Sluts|Lindsay Lohan|Sophie Monk

2008

25

Nov

Bai Ling’s Gotta be a Tranny of the Day

There was a time many years ago, when I ended up at a gay bar because I was into drugs, and that’s where the drugs were free. Not because I was hustlin’ dudes, because the truth is that every time I went out to one of these parties, I’d have lower self esteem than I went in with, because gay dudes will fuck anything, but they wouldn’t fuck me, but I was too wasted to really care, and if the guys were coming onto me, I would have probably not had as much fun as I had.

The good thing about gay bars is the fag hags, you know the kind of girl who either tries to pretend she’s fabulous, like some socialite with her gay man entourage, who pretends to be fashionable and superficial and shit, but who insecure as shit, and that’s why she’s running this whole act to begin with and she’s just sad she’s not getting any attention at the bar and just wants to get her pussy licked by her bff fag she wishes wasn’t a fag and who she spends all that time with, in hopes he’ll slip up, but that’s not going to happen, so when she’s drunk enough she settles for someone like me, because it’s a numbers game and I’m in the fuckin’ lead…..

Either way, I used the lady’s room, because the men’s room was a fuckin’ sex pit of sinning disgustingness and always smelled like shit, and I just didn’t need to get raped by some guy who was a little too caught up in the moment. So as I am waiting for a stall to piss in, this tall asian in a thong and lingerie walks out, and I’m thinking that I can get used to this shit…before realizing she was really a he….and I have a feeling in a few years, we’ll find out the Bai Ling was a he all along and here he is at a Pussycat Doll event dressed as classy as he gets….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Tranny

2008

29

Oct

Bai Ling’s Weak Halloween Costume of the Day

Bai Ling is known for showing up to events with various body parts exposed, usually her lengthy fucking nipple, but for some reason, her Halloween costume is a hell of a lot less slutty than anything she wears in a normal day. I mean I hear the dude who works her local convenience store has seen her vagina more than the guy Bai Ling is fucking, but I could have the facts distorted and the convenience store clerk is actually the dude she’s fucking…..I guess it’s an Asian thing, you know owning and working a convenience store is regarded as the top of the food chain for them, I guess because of the freedom they get from sitting behind a cash from 8 in the morning until midnight, or the discount they get on expired food, and that is why they aspire to move to America, the land of opportunity, to own every single one of them in a 4 mile radius from pretty much anywhere you are right now. I guess it beats building the railroad.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Costume|Halloween

2008

13

Jun

Bai Ling on the Beach of the Day

Bai Ling is consistently weird. Not as weird as the dude I saw walking his dog with his feet because he had no arms, but still pretty fucking weird. Here she is in a bathrobe at the beach in what I assume is a photoshoot that I guess people care enough about her to take, or that she paid to get done, but that doesn’t negate the fact that you want to fuck her.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Beach

2008

12

May

Bai Ling’s Tits on the Beach of the Day

The good news about Bai Ling is that despite having little to do with her time, she still manages to find a way to show the world her huge dark nipples. I have never really had the experience of getting with a girl who has nipples like this and that’s probably a good thing because I know that any bitch packing a mini dick on her tits would use that shit to to prison rape me every time I cheat on them in hopes of getting with a nipple that is less like suckin’ a dick and more like being with a chick.

I realize that every other site that talks about her nipples are saying the same thing about her, but there’s really only so much you can say about a girl who manages to show her nipples more than any other person all while no one knows who the fuck she is or what she has done or is doing. It’s like every time she shows up to an event and finds herself not on the list because no one knows who she is, she manages to get in because the people working the door know they have seen her nipples on the internet and that must mean she’s someone and that her name not being on the list is just some kind of mistake.

Either way, if I like how despite having something she should probably be insecure about, like someone with 3 nipples who won’t take her shirt off in public or or someone with a retardedly large testicle who won’t have sex with girls becuase of embarrassment, Bai Ling still manages to bust that shit out like she doesn’t give a fuck about it, I think it could be a language barrier.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Beach|Bikini|Nipple

2008

10

May

Bai Ling’s Manhandled Nipple Slip of the Day

It turns out that I am not much of a people person. I was walking by a hair salon earlier today and saw some 18 year old crying in the entrance. I asked her what the problem was and she told me that she was being ripped off by the owner of the hair salon, who told her the dye job would cost 100 dollars and the last time she got it done it cost 80 but was willing to pay the difference.

When she went to pay he dropped a 200 dollar bill on her and she couldn’t pay it because she only had the 100 dollars and he wasn’t letting her leave. I decided to try my hand at negotiation by pretending I was her dad and that I wasn’t going to stand for them ripping her off. I figured if I played the hero she would invite me to her teenage sex parties so that I could see what Oprah was talking about.

Either way, I tell the dude she’s only got 100 dollars on her, she was told it was 100 dollars and now they are demanding more out of her and she’s just not going to pay because it’s unethical. I told the dude that he was a con artist and even 100 dollars for a hair dye job was fuckin’ crazy and I should have expected it from a Moroccan snake oil salesman. Dude got fuckin’ mad, raised his voice, banned me from his hair salon and said if he was a conartist why would have such a strong clientele. To which I responded that he caters to his mother’s Moroccan synagogue group who support him to save face and have too much disposable income because their husbands give it to them to keep themselves occupied since they have nothing better to do and think it makes their ugly Moroccan faces look better all while they are out fuckin’ younger non-Morrocan bitches because everyone knows Moroccans are the scum of the earth.

He was still not willing to change the price on the poor girl and called the police or fake called the police like a little bitch who puts more importance on money than on being a good person. I always heard that Moroccan’s were the sleaziest money grubbing motherfuckers out there but thought that a Moroccan Jew who sucks penis would be different. I was wrong. Either way, the girls friend came and paid the difference for her, we all went our separate ways, and I wasn’t the hero.

I figured these pictures of Bai Ling were appropriate since they are of a big brown man – man-handling her even as her tit falls out of her bikini like he just doesn’t give a fuck about her, because he doesn’t, he just cares about the money.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Manhandled|Nipple Slip