A really overweight, unattractice, annoying supermodel. I hate that the world has made this cunt and her cunt behavior and her cunt attitude famous. It’s like you know when she’s prancing down the fuckin’ airport in her desiger clothes, with everyone lookin’ and pointing at her, wondering how those ankles support that body, she is thinking to herself how amazing she is. You know thinking she’s some kind of Diva, because the public and media say she is, without actually taking a minute to hate her fuckin’ self. The whole thing offends me and that’s all I have to say about that.
I don’t know what kind of publicity stunt this is, but Beyonce took a break from eating and sitting on her fucking ass all day throwing darts at pictures of Rihanna and Jennifer Hudson for stealing the glory she truly feels belongs to her, but I heard a report on the radio that she works out with a picture of an Oscar taped to her treadmill, based on her previous acting performances, she may want to try hanging a chicken wing on a string out of reach, cuz i hear that shit makes this whore run.
It’s kind of the same strategy I use to get my wife to suck my dick. I just hit up KFC on 2 dollar tuesday and lube up with the chicken grease, bitch can’t resist the smell and licks off every last drop, shit is gross, but affordable. True Story.
If Beyonce was a boy she wouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ one piece bathing suit, unless of course she was a cross dressing boy. If Beyonce had any fucking respect for others and wasn’t and self-loving bitch who thinks she’s better than the rest of the fuckin world, she wouldn’t be wearing a fucking one piece bathing suit, she’d cover her fat ass up.
Maybe this women’s liberation, independent woman, all the single ladies bullshit kick should take a fucking time out and stand in the fuckin’ corner where it belongs, because her fashion sense on stage may influence other fat girls to dress like this, thinking they are loving themselves, while alienating the men who would possibly consider fuckin’ them when drunk, because being face to face with their fat pantless crotch when not alone at their apartment, will usually make us walk the other fuckin’ way.
Here’s a song by Beyonce singing about loving a guy’s “Big Ego” because shit is the only thing she can physically feel because of her “Big Pussy” and I don’t mean her family pet, unless they all take turns petting the fluffy mess in her unitard, I mean her fat genitals because she’s fat.
Here’s her new digitally remastered video with her pants off, it’s the theme of female performers everywhere and I like to document it’s slow move into the mainstream. I’m no fashion expert but this is the summer of no pants and I guess that’s a good thing for an old pervert like me.
Beyonce is on some vacation with her mom because her husband is back home going on dates with Rihanna and when he’s not jerking off on her tits, he’s jerking off to the pictures of them that were leaked last week, mainly because he likes the dollar signs them shits come with, but also because anything is better than his cunt of a wife.
The good news is that she’s covered her fat ass up in a men’s shirt so that we don’t have to see it. Maybe it’s to give us the illusion that Jay-Z is her man and he owns her, like the cheerleader with the quarterback’s team jacket in those highschool movies, but the reality is that the rocks on the shoreline are the only hard thing in these pictures. She Sloppy.
Here she is at the airport in heels that can’t be any higher in a last attempt to look tall and lean….
This is amazing but I don’t really believe it. They say that this is her performing on the TODAY show and that this audio feed is actually what is being fed through the mic before going through some board that adjusts her pitch or some shit. I mean I’m not a record producer and it seems like it’d be possible. I am an asshole though and think this is hysterical. I watched it four times, it’s like someone clowning on singing, you know so bad you’d expect it to be coming out of a crazy person who just drank daino and is roaming the streets beeping at random people…it is so bad that it is fucking amazing…AMAZING.
There was a time when my wife and I did various activities. You know in the Honeymoon phase where I was going along with the whole marriage thing because I had accepted that I just sold my soul to the fucking devil and that the rest of my life was going to be hell, so I might as well rock out before I am too bitter and resentful to enjoy. So we’d do stupid things, like one afternoon we went to a little bar that had this trapeze set set-up outside, and my wife insisted we try the shit. I wasn’t into it, but she had been a gymnast when she was 150 pounds lighter and I guess thought she still had it in her. I remember the look on the staff’s face when they were trying to help her up the ladder to the top, before she fell into the strained safety net because she couldn’t support her own weight. It was a lot like the look on the horses face the time we decided to go horseback riding. Which is probably the look on whoever the fuck is responsible for rigging up Beyonce and her dumpy, fat, pantless ass, because you know if she goes down, some motherfucker is going to get executed….
Which brings me to my point. Why the fuck do rockstars/musicians/singers/performers insist on flying around the fuckin stage like some kind of fucking bird. Do the fans really find it that exciting to see an idiot strapped up and floating around the stage? Don’t they realize if the audience is there, 55% of them are fans and want to see them sing, 40% are asshole dudes dragged along for the ride by a girl they hope to fuck, 3% are media or got free tickets and 2% are there hoping all that fried chicken takes her out and she has a massive heart attack on stage. You know, to witness a historical event. But none of them want to see a fat slut do silly stunts that aren’t even impressive.
Step it the fuck up, I mean, if you can manage lifting your own legs, you fat pig.
I posted this shitty Beyonce, Jackman, High School Musical performance from the Oscars yesterday because I had slept in and I knew that the best way to annoy people was to post more Oscar bullshit.
I didn’t take the time to watch it and the part that I did see was spent avoiding Beyonce’s Fried Chicken things by trying to spot a Zac Effron vagina slip, so I didn’t notice that Beyonce’s nipple popped out, but luckily, someone with a lot of time on his hands, took the time to capture the moment for people like me to share with the world. Thanks economic crisis and job layoffs for letting us distract our unemployed selves with the things that really fucking matter….
If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated the site, it’s because I am running of West Coast time and I’ve been out hoping from Oscar party to Oscar party all night long. Sure, I’m not actually in California and I wasn’t invited to a single Oscar party because I am irrelevant, and sure I only watched a few minutes of the Oscars because that shit depresses me, and I didn’t actually go to any Oscar parties, not even themed shit at my local bar.
I just got drunk and passed out at four in the morning and feel like I should have watched this segment of the Oscars where Beyonce rocks out while I was drunk because that way I’d be able to focus on Vanessa Hudgens cleavage and one piece vagina hugging outfit, but instead can’t see past Beyonce and her huge thighs trying to steal the fucking spotlight. So if you’re into something pretty shitty while I get my posts together, watch this garbage.
Here are some pictures from the Oscars because I’ve decided to not really cover the shit because my opinion doesn’t matter especially when it comes to how predictable, political and drawn out this jerk off fest is. I did like Jackman’s intro and the set design, I was happy to see Wall-E win but hated pretty much everything else.
Some Penelope Cruz Before Her Inspirational Acceptance Speech….
Miley Cyrus Brought Her Wonky Teeth as a Date….
Anne Hathaway Needs Sun, This Casper Shit Makes Her Look Like She’s Dying…
Some Vanessa Hudgens Because She had No Business Being There….
There’s a lot more of this shit in the stepFORUM GO
So I have this theory that Beyonce held off sex with her husband and gave him the silent treatment because she her whining and bitching wasn’t getting through to him, at first he took it well because it was a much needed vacation from his pain in the ass partner in life, but eventually, like all husbands he had to listen to her demands. First she went off about how she doesn’t like that he’s created a bigger star than her in Rihanna and that if he wants to stay happily married he better do something about it, he refused because he pulled the “it’s business” and “she makes me lots of money” angle, but it wasn’t good enough for Beyonce, she wanted Rihanna fired, she was jealous, she was fed up with her taking the glory and no money in the world could justify why her husband would choose another woman over her. But Jay-Z wasn’t budging, so she paid Chris Brown to mangle her face and make her disappear, so while Rihanna is out in Barbados recovering, Beyonce’s not wasting any fucking time recording videos to get out before Rihanna can get back to work….all while being close with some black guy to let Jay-Z know she’s not fucking around…but it’s just a theory.
This is not going to interest you, but it interests me because I feel like I am alone in hating this Beyonce bitch. Every time I rip into her for being a waste of space, annoying, a brat, uninteresting and trying to hard to stay in the spotlight, some cunt emails me with fucking essays about how she’s a diva and a talent and the queen of the fucking world because I know she thinks she is.
So it’s nice to see that Etta James isn’t down with her either and has some sense in her and that’s all I have to say about that.
If you’re wondering why Jay Z cheated on Beyonce with Rihanna inspiring her “if I was a boy” song, here’s your answer…She’s got a pretty shitty body. Now, for those of you who like thick women, don’t get mad at me, because even she knows that Popeye Chicken lifetime supply sponsorship from 5 years ago was a bad idea, otherwise she wouldn’t be swimming in her fucking dress and prancing around with something covering her dumpy ass, like the fat teenage girls in my high school did when we had an activity day at the water park and they insisted on wearing their T-Shirts. Their reasoning was to protect their fragile pasty white skin from the sun it never saw because they were too busy spending the summer inside eating, but we all knew they were just trying to avoid the shame from our pointing, laughing and disgust.
Sure, the only rippling my body has going for it is when I jump and shit jiggles, but I’m not the one getting paparazzi pictures taken of me, so maybe this bitch should try out an eating disorder in 2009, despite the low blood sugar fits of rage, the possible heart failure and the weakness and discomfort, it could be good for her marriage and more importantly, in her quest to take on Rihanna in the fight for her husband’s penis and the public’s acceptance.
Bonus – here she is getting a tan, even though I already thought she had one of those….
Katy Perry is a victim of positive reinforcement. Someone forgot to tell her that she fucking sucks and instead was surrounded by people who suck her big fucking dick all day long, making her think what she’s doing is relevant because of the paychecks, radio play, and crowds aplauding for you, without realizing the people who are paying to see her are just fucking idiots who eat up anything the radio feeds them.
So she can’t sing, she can’t dance and to make shit worse, she’s not even good looking or worth a fuck. She’s just a fat chick who isn’t fat right now, and her novelty act needs to fucking die, because if it doesn’t I probably will. I am easily affected by things, especially when I can’t escape them everywhere I fucking go.
Here’s a video of her doing the Beyonce dance, because she’s an annoying cunt, and a photoshoot where she looks hideous, because even with make-up, photoshop and good lighting, she can’t escape her fate…….
Beyonce’s been too busy competing with Rihanna to take care of the little things in life like hygeiene. When looking at the neglect she’s given to her pits, I am reminded of this hairy little troll of a girl I used to bang. It didn’t end well, but for the week that we dated, I did everything I could to get her to just shave her fucking armpits. I used to tease her and tell her that Richard Nixon’s not in fucking office, we’re not protesting a war and trying our best to be as liberated as we can by having unprotected sex with strangers, but we shoudl be, so the only excuse for this hippie bullshit is laziness. I even brought her a razor on our third date and that’s pretty much when the dating ended, I guess I wasn’t so discreet about my disgust, but trying to find her vagina hole was like a fucking South American safari adventure through the fuckin’ Amazon, only instead of dealing with getting attacked by deadly snakes and tribes peopel, I was forced to deal with a hairy mess with a rancid smell of dead fish, and really wasn’t surprised considering the condition of her arm pits.
That said, a girls arm pit condition is the window to her vagina maintenence and Beyonce’s pussy is obviously the real reason Jay-Z’s moved onto Rihanna.
In honor of Thanksgiving, I decided to post these pictures of a turkey, or someone who will probably eat an entire turkey tomorrow, because Beyonce is the kind of girl who just doesn’t like sharing and has the ability to clear a table stocked with enough fried chicken for a couple dozen people, but in her defense, she’s never been this physical in her performances, and that probably works up a mean appetite, you know making those who used to be shocked with how much she managed to eat before, she was doin’ nothing, totally blown the fuck away when they see what she manages to stuff in her face now, and it’s got something to do with her not wanting to share the spotlight with the younger, hotter Rihanna who I know she just can’t fucking stand, even though Rihanna’s career is making Beyonce’s divorce settlement a lot more lucrative, when she finally leaves Jay Z for two timing her.
Every time I watch her do this song and dance, I laugh because of the pain I see in her eyes. It’s like watching some morbidly obese person trying to get a new lease on life and taking their fat ass to the streets to burn off some calories, or like watching my wife trying to get off the couch. There is struggle and panting as heart is begging her to stop, but Beyonce won’t listen, because if she does, it means Rihanna won.
At least she’s managed to find a full-body pair of spanx to strap her in and keep her fat from spilling out all over the fuckin’ reinforced stage, making the homeless people they kicked off their corner to throw this street performance even more pissed off, you know in a first they take their homes and now they’re rubbing how much food they’ve managed to stuff in their faces in their face, while they sitting there starving, cold in mismatched shoes waiting for it all to end..
Here are the pics.
And the videos….
Her Performing Single Ladies…
Her Obnoxious Grand Entrance and a Little Crazy in Love