Who the fuck is Candie’s trying to fool with these Britney pics? We get it, April Fools, good one, cocksuckers.
That’s almost as bad as Heidi Montag saying she’s pregnant on Twitter, but a little more creative, you know you actually had to get some asshole scraping off the layers of fat on photoshop, while Montag was just being the unoriginal cunt she is.
Britney Spears posted this picture of her ass on Twitter and by Britney Spears I mean one of her staff memebers who pretends to be here, because the last thing Britney tried to use a computer, it ended up in her deep fryer and eater, because that’s what southern pigs do, they eat shit they deep fry. Sure that may not make sense, maybe I should tell a story about a mom of two who got on stage without pants on at my local strip club, because she’s trying to put food on the table, unfortunately, they couldn’t photoshop retouch her live, because her shit wasn’t this smooth and put together, in fact, her vagina looked more like a scaled down, fleshy garbage truck and kinda smelled the same. I still paid her 10 dollars to touch the tits, but only because she promised to squirt me with lactation, which leads me to ask, can you get AIDS from breast milk?
These pictures of Britney came out a couple of days ago, but who the fuck cares when they came out. Someone emailed this picture to me and I felt the need to post it and I don’t necessarily know why. It’s probably got something to do with me having no interest in posting or reading my email today, but it probably has something to do with her ass not being tainted with her beat up crusty face.
I guess I should post the video for F-U-C-K-M-E video cuz it is hot.
I saw some ragged immigrant at a pharmacy late last night. I had nothing to do with my time and figured I’d swing by and pretend to pick up a few obscure objects to make the people around me nervous. You put someDuct Tape, Vaseline, a pair of scissors and some Diapers and tell a random woman in the cosmetic section how you’d love to take her out for coffee. The reaction is always funny. I will film it one day and if anyone out there rips off the concept I will have no choice but to reference this post and sue you…
Either way, she was buying maxi pads, which was weird to begin with, because everyone knows that nobody uses max pads, we’re a tampon generation filled with Toxic Shock, but as she went through the packages comparing prices, while her crying baby was in a carriage by her side and her 3 year old was pulling shit off the shelves at 3 in the fucking morning, I thought to myself that this would be Britney’s life if she was working the night shift at the dinner where she belongs, but thanks to some miracle that isn’t being all that talented, or all that hot, but more to do with being marketable or marketed, bitch is rockin’ out in a bikini by the pool. It’s almost a rags to riches story, but I have a feeling she hadn’t got her period when she first started out. Admit it you liked that play on words…
Bonus – Here’s Some Pictures of Her Shopping in Some Daisy Dukes…..
I read that during concert Britney says “My Pussy is Hanging Out” between songs. I don’t know if this is the actual video of it going down, because the dude who uploaded the shit is peddling his own smut, but I do have some pictures that hit the net yesterday with various forms of zooming in, because I’m the kind of guy who zooms in on pictures hoping to see some mom of two vagina lip while she’s grabbing onto her ankles, but who really isn’t….
Britney Spears brought her elaborate concert filled with smoke, mirrors, circus bullshit, dancing to distract the world from her doughy body, her insane brain, and the fact that she can’t sing. The good news is that she didn’t fall asleep halfway through the concert while eating mustard out of a jar, she didn’t try to hang herself off one of the props, and she did the whole thing showing off her mom body in a way that it didn’t look too much like a mom body, you know reminiscent of a simpler time, when she had one music video that played on repeat and I had cable and no job and she was 17 and I wasn’t and you know how this story ends.
Here are a shitload of her concert pictures, I wasn’t there, so what more do you expect me to say about it. I want to go to the one that happens in Montreal at the end of the month, I figure it’ll be a good place to abduct kids and the world can always use another amber alert…even though I’m sure he audience are people still latching on from 9 years ago, like me.
I asked for tickets on the site already and no one got back to me, I guess my dreams of meeting Britney before she dies will never be. Hit me baby one more time.
All I can hope for is she gets knocked up by another one of her bottom feeding back-up dancers who claims to be ungay. I feel like Britney needs more babies to live up to her destiny of being a deadbeat mom from the gutter.
Who cares what I think, here are the pics.
Here are some performance videos if you care, I don’t really, but figured I went to this much trouble, why the fuck not post them…
Britney Spears Performing Me Against The Music in the India Shit…
Performing Baby One More Time in the Black Bra Shit
Performing Breathe On Me with Her Nipple Tassels
I am sure there are a lot more – but I’ve played the 13 year old girl angle enough for one night….wow…this post makes me look like a real big fag in love with all things Britney…I just like her tits…yeah that took back my manhood….
This Britney Spears shit is going to be a pretty big deal, All her shows are sold out and tickets are going for 200 dollars a piece and after seeing the dress rehearsal videos, some pretty fucking nutty shit goes down. It’s on some kind of Cirque du Soleil gayness, but maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve never gone to Cirque du Soliel, but probably more likely because seeing contortionists doing ribbon dances bores me, but I guess it all makes sense because her shit is called Circus.
It looks like it is going to be costing a lot of fucking money and even the dress rehearsals are big fucking scale. Her costumes are slutty, I want to fuck her and I guess so do a lot of big corporations who are on to help foot the bill, one of those companies is Candies, a shoe company and junior clothing company who have gone so far as to make Britney one of their Candies Girls, I guess in efforts to get their money’s worth.
It’s nice to see brands attach themselves to a bipolar, unstable, crazy person, you’d expect their conservative asses to stay as far away as possible from, but I guess they figure it’s worth draggin heir brand’s through the mud to be part of the biggest fucking concert in history, unless she kills herself before it starts….
Here’s the second video of her rehearsal….if anyone has tickets for me, I want to go masturbate in the crowd. Not to Britney but to all the little girls who act slutty like Britney.
Britney Spears is everywhere, this is her new video for one of her songs. It was leaked on some Japanese site which was a little surprising, since I thought Japanese people were only into puking on each other and fucking sea food, but then I realized this is Britney Spears we’re talking about and 90 percent of what she does involves puke and sea food.
If You Want To Watch the Video It Is Here For Now…. GO
Britney Spears has tits and guess what, so do most girls. It gets boring talking about them, when all I really care about is touching them. Not necessarily Britney’s tits, but any tits that don’t feel like a grocery bag half filled with bacon fat that I’m used to because my wife’s a slob, but not the hollywood rich girl slob like Britney, but the real fuckin’ deal. Sure, she doesn’t shave her head or have self-induced breakdowns or even release hit albums even though the music on them is garbage, but she’s huge in her own way, and that way unfortunately starts at her ankles and works its way to her head. She still manages to squeeze into really big elastic waist band pants like Britney manages to squeeze into a tight dress that she busts the fuck out of all in celebration of her 27th birthday, one people thought she’d never see, but I always knew she was too soft to actually end it all and with her new revamped, hard new look, her tits look a lot better than the post pregnancy, nipples to the ground mess we saw a few months ago so I’m posting the pics. I am also trying to get tickets to her show here in March, so if you know anyone who can help make that happen, email me.