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Archive for the Britney Spears Category

2007

13

Aug

I am – Britney Spears' See-Through Nips of the Day

I went home with some British consultant on Saturday night after getting shot down by this other fella that works for an expensive car company. I spent most of my night working on “Car Co.” He bought me several drinks, but obviously didn’t understand the consequences of getting a girl drunk. Liquor + me = SlutFest 2007. I kept trying to kiss him, he kept pulling away. Either he was gay or had a girlfriend or was bad at business, like he invested money then didn’t follow through? This ex-hooker doesn’t get it.

I don’t remember him leaving, but I remember moving on to a British guy who was hot in a bulldog way, and I have a soft spot for UK accents. This Brit had a fancy place and a tiny penis. We fucked for what felt like an hour until he unleashed his ass fixation. Now I hate anal because it hurts like a bitch and unnecessary if you’re in to chicks, but I wanted to sleep in a room with AC and a comfortable bed. Judge me, I don’t give a fuck, I used to be a hooker.

Here is Britney Spears and her nipples looking like the kind of girl that would take it up the ass for a popsicle, and she’d probably buy the popsicle herself. I think it’s safe to say she probably has to purchase her lovers these days, you can see it in her sad dead eyes and sagging tits. So you can dump your internet girlfriend and quit your job at the 7/11 because your chances of nailing her and retiring early just went up.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)


Related Posts:

Britney Spears Goes Out in a Bra
Britney Spears Swims Topless
Britney Spears Squatting in Public

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipples|See Through|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Aug

I am – Britney Swims Topless of the Day

britpoolcloseup.jpg

So this is probably old news but it’s new to me because I didn’t log onto a computer for more than 5 minutes every couple of days to check emails and to learn that the only people who care about me are spammers. I barely got any emails asking me to come back to the site, I barely got emails telling me the site is amazing, I got no emails from people offering me money or sex, so a month vacation is long enough for me to know I am still a loser. So as a loser, I have no choice but to post some pictures of Britney swimming topless with some K-Fed motherfucker who I think is K-Fed.

The reality of this shit is that once you get pussy the first time, you’ve already done all the hard work and it’s easier to get it again rather than getting new pussy. In K-Fed’s case, it may not have been so hard to get Britney in the first place because she was this lonely retarded girl who had been devirginized by Timberlake and whose only friends were her dancers and as the only straight dancer, K-Fed had some major advantage in getting her cunt, knocking her up and setting up his retirement plan, but that’s not the point.

The point is that recycling pussy you’ve already landed is easier than landing more new pussy, especially for someone like you who has only landed the pussy of lonely broken down and abused chicks who hate themselves and use fucking as a way to make themselves feel wanted for the 2 minutes you last and sometimes finding them again is as easy as making a call, sending an email, driving down the block she worked before the drug overdose or showing up to pick up your kids for your monthly deadbeat dad visit that ends with you in the pool naked with the slut you knocked up.

The real issue is that I don’t know what I am saying, I am pretty jet lagged and refuse to re-read my posts. Cuddles.


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I am – Britney Spears Public Tit Flash of the Day
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Posted in:Britney Spears|Swimming|Tit|Topless|Unsorted|Wet

2007

08

Aug

I am – Britney Spears Semi Upskirt of the Day

Britney Spears

Britney has pretty much been my daily source of entertainment for the last little while. I am never surprised as what she does yet wait eagerly for each new days news in regards to her to come my way, much like when you sit and stare out the window waiting for the mailman to bring your monthly issue of SPANK (except I don’t hide this perversion from my Mom like you do). The only problem is since nothing is surprising me, I’m starting to feel like it’s not so special anymore.

Remember when you first got the internet and would see a picture of somebody shitting on someone else and be all like “Ooooohhhhh whoa!!” Then gradually, it didn’t surprise you anymore right? Then it got to the point where you had been to rotten.com and all those other fucked up sites so many times that you would see a dead baby with its head blown off off being held up by its mother while she was being fucked by her son, and it was just like “Meh, big deal”

Me and Britney are kind of like you and those sites, It still interests me, but in the end I’ve seen it all before.

You can bet your ass I’m still gonna look though!!

hugs and kisses
Marie-eve Martinez


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Trash|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

06

Aug

I am – Britney Spears Pillsbury Dough Ass of the Day

Britney Spears

I ended up going to this house party of a guy I know who lives in this loft that is pretty much nicer then any place I have ever hung out in and definitely nicer then any place I will ever live in. Hes a pretty good friend of mine, so doesn’t mind it when we go over to hang out, or when he finds me in the kitchen pretending like I live there, if only for a minute or two, because I will never get to live in a place like that ever.

There was this weird couple there who were getting ready to leave the city for some reason that has sipped my mind, that had the biggest bag of cocaine I have ever seen in life. You know those ugly couples that show up at parties, and at the end of the night, you all talk about it and realize none of you know them and it becomes this big mystery where they came from? This was them.

Anyways, I couldnt really tell you how much coke it was, because when your a cute young girl, you don’t buy drugs, they are just given to you. Therefore you end up a) having no idea the quantities of things like that and b) not knowing how much it costs. Everybody I know complians that coke is a shit drug cause its expensive, but since I don’t pay for it, I can’t really identify with that. I like uppers, not downers, and if you’re giving them to me for free I will take them.

Anyways, this dude was a drug dealer, which didn’t take long for anyone to figure out, since he kept just like talking about his shit all god damned night, regardless if the direction of the conversation brought us around to his current profession or not. It reminded me that I really fucking hate most drug dealers. Some of these assholes will run around talking and gloating about what they do, pulling out wads of hundreds of dollars and flashing their fucking money around, then complain when they get caught. I still did their free coke until around 8am, and met some guy I think I will likely have sex with in the near future, so overall, it was a good night.

Here’s Britney Spears, her ass reminds me of the ass of the girlfriend of the drug dealer.


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Britney Spears, Still Crazy of the Day

Britney Spears

I really just don’t even know what to say this. Wow….just…wow.

I read that her new “video” cost $30 000 of her own money, which by today’s standards of videos and how much they cost, is the equivalent of shooting it on a fucking Sony Handicam. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave Sean Preston some scissors and tape to edit the fucking thing.

I honestly can’t wait to hear the song and watch this piece of shit and yell at the TV. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it!!


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Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Slut|Stripper|Unsorted

2007

25

Jul

I am – Dirty Jobs : The Britney Spears Assistant Edition

Britney Spears

I dunno if you guys are familiar with this show Dirty Jobs on Discovery. Basicially this dude Mike Rowe has to go and do all the shitty, disgusting jobs that you and I don’t think about while you’re busy being a freelance whatever and I’m sitting here writing this for all 3 of you to read. Anyways, I had this great idea for a special edition they could do, and posted it in their forums HERE though I have a feeling they may remove it rather quickly. I really hope he replies.

Below is the full post I made today:

Dear Mike Rowe and the Dirty Jobs Crew

Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of you and your show and was thinking this morning that I had a great idea for one of your upcoming episodes of Dirty Jobs. As a part of my own job, I get to comment and basically make fun of celebrities all day. It’s really great. It gives meaning to my life and most of the time is pretty funny. I also work at Dairy Queen part-time but I think I’m getting fired. That’s another story.

Anywhoo, my idea is that you could go and be Britney Spear’s assistant for one full week, as I think that is probably the dirtiest job on the planet right now. You get to wake her up out of Vicodin and Valium hangovers and hold her hair while she barfs. You get to change poopy diapers that haven’t been changed in a few hours, pick the head lice out of her hair weave like an orangutan and you may even have to see her naked. I can’t think of a dirtier job then that, can you?

I think it would be a great episode and that it would help your ratings a lot, not that you need it. If you can’t do it, I understand, because I know your producers may not like the idea. I get the feeling they aren’t half as cool as you are and they probably all wear suits to work and eat salads. That’s pretty lame. Nonetheless, send me some full frontal nudes, fully shaven. I think you’re pretty hott.

Hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
Stepdaughter[at]drunkenstepfather.com


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

20

Jul

I am – Britney Spears Being Classy of the Day Part 2

Britney Spears

It’s getting to the point where as much as I want to write something funny about her, I’m almost so fucking shocked that she runs around doing what she does, and I just don’t know what to say. You know the whole wanting to look away from a car wreck thing, but can’t etc. I’m sure we’ve all been there and you get it.

I have a friend name Sean who gets laid probably more then anybody I know. The funny thing is that, by general standards, he isn’t the best looking guy in the traditional sense. Still tho, he accepts himself for what he is and wears his ugliness like a well earned medal of honor, and chicks pick up on that, and it a fucked up way, that’s what makes him attractive. And I mean he don’t sleep with fucking pigs either, he gets like girls that average an 8/10 or higher. He’s got charisma that is actually quite humbling to watch, and if I didn’t know him for as long as I have, I’m sure I would have given him a go by now as well. There’s a lot of be said for confidence, and if you ever decide you want to loose your virginity, you should think about that, for real.

Being white trash and so full of yourself to the point that just seriously have no concept in regards to how you are viewed by other people in the world is just some fucking next level shit that I am still very, very far off from understanding. I am definitely way to hungover to wrap my head around it right now. I don’t think Sean in all his wisdom would even understand this, though maybe I should ask him when we go out tonight. He owes for 40$ and it will be a good lead in to warm him up to the part where I’m like “Oh, by the way WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?!?”

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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I am – Britney Spears Being Classy of the Day
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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

19

Jul

I am – Britney Spears Being Classy of the Day

Britney Spears

These pictures look incredibly staged and I think this is all a publicity stunt, because this bitch just announced she will now be her own manager and publicist, which is kinda like when a 4 year old tells you he is going to build a rocket and you pat him on the head and laugh at him when he goes to the backyard to try and make one out of cardboard and tinfoil.

I went out with my cousin last night who was here from out of town. She’s the type of girl acts like a fucking prude majority of the time, and then you get a few beers in her and you find her the bathroom with no top on sucking on some dudes cock who bought her one of those shitty flowery shots that stupid girls like to drink. Which really is fine, I mean I’m all for dirty bathroom sex, trust me, but if you’re going to be a topless cocksucker you should just be comfortable with that not fucking use the excuse that you were drunk or whatever, because that’s such a cop out.

I wish she would just admit it, and have fun with it, but she’s the type of girl who doesn’t realize that being a whore (in the figurative sense) doesn’t mean you’re a dirt bag, it just means you like to fuck. And there’s nothing wrong with fucking. The sooner girls get comfortable with just fucking men, like men do women, then the sooner this god damn gap that is between the two sexes is going to close and that’s when the real fun is going to start. I’m comfortable with a fucking a few different guys and I’m comfortable with talking about it, and other girls should be too, because guys do it all the fucking time.

My cousin went home with the dude, after her bought her a few more drinks of course, and I’m sure today she will come in with some story about how she was “sooooo wasted” and she “never does that type of thing.”

That’s why I gotta hand it to Britney. For years she tried to play the good girl, telling us she was a virgin and like she was this real stand-up gal, but now she’s just kinda like fuck you, I’m gonna swim in my underwear, drive with my baby on my lap and change diapers on restaurant tables. She finally accepted she’s white trash and is just rolling with it. You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl….

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

17

Jul

I am – Britney Spears Looking Fast and Easy of the Day

Britney Spears

This is Britney Spears no longer pretending to be something she isn’t. She’s finally looking as fast and easy as a drive-thru McDonalds. I want to say something mean because she used to be a big deal, but now that I can relate to her, I kind of want to stick up for her. Besides, if I defend her, maybe she’ll read this, fall in love with me, and I’ll get to put it where K-Fed did, and even though that’s kind fo gross, it would make a great story to tell at the park.

Speaking of being trash, this weekend I went to this BBQ full of rich kids working on their PhDs. Some dude tried making me feel little with his psycho-babble bullshit butI just smiled and nodded like I didn’t have a clue what he was saying. Then when he wasn’t around, I asked his girlfriend if she wanted to do me. She told me that she most certainly does not, and I said that it was probably for the best because I was too drunk to get it up anyway. I told her if she wanted me to go down on her, though, I’d be over at the park, and sauntered off with a couple brewskis for the road.

When she didn’t show-up, I wasn’t too disappointed. After all, I wasn’t all that much into her because she wasn’t Mexican. Which reminds me, not a single Latina has e-mailed me yet. The only thing I get in my inbox are viruses — which is wierd, because I’m used to catching shit from Sugar Nell, not an e-mail. Anyway, if you’re a Latina who needs to get married to stay in the country, you should e-mail me because I’m lonely and love you.

Harley Houston


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Britney Spears at a Hotel of the Day

Britney Spears at Hotel

Here’s Britney Spears at a hotel in a Beverly Hills, which makes no sense to me whatsoever because as far as I know she has a house in Malibu or Los Angeles or something other really nice place I will probably never get to go, let alone live.

When I was about 8 or so, I knew this kid who always wanted to sleep over. Like, all the time. My house sucked, we never had good snacks, and the only toy I had was a dirty stuffed rabbit I got from from some relative that came over once and never came back, possibly my real father.

Meanwhile, this kid had a pool and a kitchen so filled with food it was like a restaurant, complete with a Nanny who would cook whatever we wanted while we sat and played video games. I asked her one day about it, and she told me that she thought my parents were “cooler”. Only through the eyes of an 8 year old can extreme obiesity and alcoholism be viewed as cool.

I never really understood that, and I don’t understand this thing with Britney Spears now. I’m sure this hotel is nice, but I am also fucking positive that the multi-million dollar house she owns is way fucking nicer.


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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Goes Out in her Bra of the Day

britney_spears_bra15.jpg

I don’t really know why I bother, but I do, and here is a second set of Britney pics, only this time bitch is rockin’ a bra out to some club….because she’s crazy and likes getting more attention than she deserves. At first I thought it was her way back into the scene after dumping K-Fed, now I think it’s some kind of weird punk rock rebel attitude where she’s basically telling all of us to fuck ourselves. I am ok with that because I like girls who show off their tits, even when their tits are ratty old dried up milk sacks that don’t look like they did when she was at her prime.

Rockin’ a bra in public deserves some respect as most girls I know need a lot of roofies to get naked, not that I encourage that kind of behavior, you just do what you gotta do in life, that’s all I am saying….not that I am really a date rapist, my limp dick is pretty non-threatening but I am sure some of you are, because getting pussy was never easy and 10 dollars and an understanding cab driver is all you really need to get ‘er done.

In reality it’s not even really date rape if you wear a condom. Condom sex is like shaking hands with a rubber glove on. There’s a shield between you and your friend so it technically isn’t even sex. That’s what I used to tell my wife when I used to cheat on her…I’d be like baby, I used a condom and condoms mean I didn’t even bang her, the condom did but reality is I never wore a condom and ended up giving her some HPV and she wasn’t impressed.

I guess lucky for her, Karma is a bitch and now my junk doesn’t work, but at least I have the memories and pictures of Britney Spears to remind me what I am missing, which isn’t really all that much. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Drunk|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Tit in Public of the Day

britney_spears_topless3.jpg

I bet you feel like an idiot for thinking this whore had fake tits. I think it’s pretty clear that she’s stacked like a fat 13 year old girl who just got her period. Shit’s not made of silicone, it’s made of donuts and loose skin from once being filled with milk.

I had so many different things to write about today, I was sleeping and so much shit came to me that I was dreaming about how inspired I was, I had at least 10 amazing stories that I didn’t write down so I am drawing a fucking blank and that’s probably one of the most frustrating things in doing this site.

If more girls were like Britney, I’d be spending a lot more time in the changing room at stores around the city. There was a time when I’d get drunk with my friends in the morning and we’d have no where to go so we’d hit the mall and watch girls buy lingerie, bikinis, and shit like that. I never saw tit slips but I was escorted out of the mall by security after they got too many complaints from stores. It took them about a month to catch onto me though.

Seeing Britney stage a tit slip and not being able to jerk off to it because it’s not hot enough for you is pretty depressing. Not that I could have really jerked off to it with my not being able to get it up issue, but you know what I mean. There was a time when this was the fantasy of many, but now that it’s out there it’s not as good as you’d want it to be making the fantasy over. It’s like bringing home that hot chick you’ve always wanted, fucking her and finding out that she sucks in bed and did things you couldn’t fucking stand, and now that you’ve done it you never want to do it again, not that you’d know what that feels like, virgin. What it comes down to is that tit is tit and this is expensive tit and we should just appreciate what she’s doing instead of rippin’ into her for not being in her prime anymore, because that is usually happens when chicks have 2 kids.

The paparazzi scare the fuck out of me on this one, this is some climbing up the telephone pole with a telephoto lens creepy voyeur shit that’s got me arrested a few times…and the quality of the picture is so fucking good it doesn’t even look like bitch has a nipple, shit’s so grainy. Either way, I am posting them…

Posted in:Britney Spears|Tit|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Britney Nipple and stepDREAMS Post of the Day

britney_spears_nipslip_0616.jpg

I don’t mean to be an asshole, it just happens sometimes. I think I just have high standards for the site or some shit, even though I think of it as a herpes scab on the vagina that is the internet. This is my most recent stepDREAMS entry from a reader who wants to help me out when I fuck off for a couple of weeks in July and I am not fucking impressed. Either motherfucker is trying to bite my style, in which case my style fucking sucks, or he just doesn’t know how to write or be funny. I don’t think I am a pro at this, I don’t think my site is all that funny, I do know that I put more thought into it than writing garbage like this. Either way, I may not be good at this shit, but I am better than this asshole.

Well, here we have a little glimpse of the top of Britneys nipple. It was only a couple of years ago when a shot like this would have had me cranking one out in no time flat, but now I can only wonder “what the hell is going on here?”. The brownish color of her areola is throwing me off a bit, and they also look a little bit oversized. I’m all for big nipples you know, the bigger the better. I want them to poke out my fuckin’ eyes with their overwhelming size and ferociousness, but big brown gigantic areolas just freak me right the fuck out. I may be taking a giant leap of faith here assuming the shitstains who read this site actually know what an “areola” is. While we’re on the subject of “nipples”, what the fuck is up with chicks who have inverted ones? I mean nipples are supposed to point outward and be flicked, twisted, played with and sucked on by assholes like me. If you are a bitch with inverted nipples, and there is nothing pointing up at me, you have now taken away half of my fun. Whore.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipple|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

18

Jun

I am – Britney Spears is Fucking Crazy of the Day

britney_crazy2.jpg
britney_crazy6.jpg

My computer broke this weekend so I couldn’t do my stepLINKS, so I got really fucking drunk instead and it was a good fucking time. I would go more into it, but I am lazy right now, it was father’s day yesterday and I always feel like a second rate father having not been the guy to dump my load in my wife to produce my wonderful stepdaughters. I am just some hack father figure who lives in the same house as them. They don’t call me dad and they don’t buy me father’s day gifts, like taking me golfing even though I fucking hate the concept of gold but it’s the principle. I guess there are other things you could do for your father like have a bbq, take him out to lunch, but him a present, treat him like a king all day, have naked lesbian wrestling in the living room for him, let him watch your shower/masturbate/dance. I got nothing. Not even a card. I guess that’s what happens when your wife’s kids know you’re just there riding the disability check, not carrying your weight and constantly calling their mother a fat whore.

Speaking of fat whore, here’s some Britney Spears insanity. She went into a club with a friend wearing one outfit and walked out wearing her friend’s outfit. I think that’s the kind of thing someone crazy thinks up to either fuck with the media, or to have an excuse to see her friend in her panties, or even to entertain your crazy self by giving an unsuspecting friend scabies or any other surface rash you get from wearing someone else’s clothes. I bet that joke woulda made you laugh if I delivered the joke a little stronger, but I am just waking up and I never said I was as funny as the other cocksuckers with blogs and their virginity…


Posted in:Britney Spears|Crazy|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Bikini Ass of the Day

britney_spears_bikini8.jpg

I came across these Britney Spears pictures and I realized that there is nothing better in life than posting 2 Britney Spears posts back to back. It the shit bloggin is made for…

Yesterday on my drunken adventure, I ended up at the strip club for too early for there to be strippers working. It was me and the stage and a bar tender who was playing her own shitty music. I asked her if there were any girls to entertain me considering I spent 3 dollars oto get in to see vagina. About 5 minutes later, some french slut hit the stage and did a little dance for me. Since I was the only one in the place it felt really romantic as she spread her legs…The issue I had was that I knew she wanted my money, the other issue was that I had no money. I looked over my shoulder to see her wiping down her box after rubbing it up against the pole and I wondered if that really prevented HPV and AIDS, maybe she was onto something. When she got me lookin’ at her she turned around in embarrassment even though I already saw her inner parts…

The thing I like about Britney is that it seems like she never embarrassed, she has no shame, she has enough money to not give a fuck and we’ve all seen her inner parts but like the stripper, she still bothers to cover up.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears|Unsorted